Traumatic brain injury (TBI) has been one of the most common maladies in human history.1 Recent quantitative studies from burial sites of prehistoric modern humans2;3 indicate that approximately one-third of our ancestors experienced cranial trauma sufficient to result in a skull fracture. This high rate of TBI in prehistoric humans makes it likely that genetic variants that confer resistance to brain trauma, or foster repair and plasticity of injured neural tissue, would have been selectively favored through evolution. TBI remains a major problem in modern societies, primarily as a consequence of traffic accidents and falls. In the United States alone, an estimated 1.7 million people sustain a TBI annually, of which 275,000 require hospitalization and 52,000 die.4 Rates are even higher in developing countries.5
TBI is perhaps the best established environmental risk factor for dementia. Cross-sectional and longitudinal studies…
Abby Ellin, New York Times, writes about the late-life renaissances that many Baby Boomers experience when they re-decide what they want to be when they grow up.
When we were younger, many of us drifted into college studies and post-college careers that may or may not have been our first choice but at least paid the bills. As we near retirement, or even years before retirement, we wonder, “Is this all there is?” And when we wonder like that, we get dissatisfied, and when we get dissatisfied – if we’re gutsy – we’ll do what it takes to become satisfied. If we don’t attain our desired level of satisfaction, we’ll languish: lose vitality, grow weak, and become feeble. My oh my, is that what you want? Read the rest of this entry »
I’m a writer so I am always intrigued with word arrangements and different takes on relatively normal phrases. Here are several paraprosdokians: figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected. Credit for this entry goes to Larry Brooks of www.storyfix.com
Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
In filling out an application, where it says, Emergency Contact I put ‘doctor.”
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
You do not need a parachute to skydive unless you want to do it again.
I used to be indecisive; now I’m not so sure.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they’re sexy.
NFL players are choosing early retirement. Is the future of football under scrutiny? http://wapo.st/1xvFq9p
I LOVE football. Actually, I love the Seattle Seahawks, but I cringe each time a player gets pummeled in the head.
The above Washington Post article suggests American football may some day fall away as a sport, similar to what happened to boxing. Many years ago, I remember boxing being the sport that people gathered around their televisions to watch, whether at home or in the bars. I can understand why nowadays most of us would rather not watch two people bash each other in the head; a head with virtually no protection in the boxing ring. But even with all the sophisticated helmet and body gear covering football players on the field, players are still sustaining concussions that could sooner or later place them in neurological hell. Read the rest of this entry »
Have you ever been rejected? Read the attached NY Times article: Accepted? Rejected? Relax You’ll see that the article was retitled since it first appeared so when you click on the link, you’ll see the subject matter as being about college admissions.
Rejection affects all of us: it’s not just about college admission policies.
I’m a writer; I should know.
I’ve only been looking for an agent for 30 days, therefore the 15 rejections – or what I like to call not interesteds – I’ve received out of 60 submissions sent is only 25% of the total so far. Wow, 75% of the agents haven’t turned me down yet! Read the rest of this entry »
Happy day before St. Patrick’s Day! I’m half Irish so I want to celebrate by providing a couple Irish-themed jokes to start off your week with a laugh or two:
A Spanish singer chatting on television used the word manana. When asked what that meant, he said, “It means, maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that, next week, next month or next year. It’s like, who cares?”
Shay Brennan, an Irishman in the conversation, was asked if there’s an Irish equivalent. “No, in Ireland we don’t have a word to describe that level of urgency.”
There was a Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman all taking a tea break at a building site. The Englishman pipes up, “If my wife puts cheese on my sandwich again, I am going to kill myself.” The Scotsman says, “If my wife puts egg on my sandwich again, I will kill myself.” The Irishman says, “If I find ham on my sandwich again, I will kill myself.”
Sure enough, the next day all three men open their lunch boxes and find the sandwiches are all full of cheese, egg, and ham so they all go off to different parts of the construction site and kill themselves.
Later in the week, all three men are being buried and the Englishman’s wife says, “If he didn’t want cheese on his sandwich he should have told me.” The Scotsman’s wife says the same concerning the egg sandwich. Then the Irishman’s wife pipes up, “I can’t understand this, Paddy makes his own sandwich.”
On my Facebook page a couple weeks ago, I said it didn’t bother me that I had sent out a handful of queries in my effort to secure an agent and had received one or two not interesteds.
Please read my manuscript!
As of today, I’ve queried 50 agents, received 11 not interesteds, which leaves 39 agents unaccounted for, from whom I may not receive a response because although agencies usually indicate their expected response time, oftentimes they only respond when they’re interested. That leaves this Land of Limbo for agents on my spreadsheet who may have exceeded their indicated response time. Do I delete them from my spreadsheet? Do I give them another week/month before writing them off?
You see, searching for an agent is like looking for a job. The writer’s query letter is like the cover letter to ones resume. The resume is the writer’s manuscript. If the agent likes what they read in the query/if the employer likes what they read in the cover letter, they want to look further. Read the rest of this entry »
With winter still having a strangle hold on the East Coast and spring tempting us elsewhere, here are some weather jokes to get you through your day:
Don’t knock the weather. If it didn’t change so much, most of us wouldn’t know how to start a conversation.
It’s been raining so much in Seattle, the Chia pet I threw in my garbage is now blocking my entire driveway.
According to a news story, if global warming continues, the only chance we’ll have to see a polar bear is in the zoo … so in other words, nothing is going to change.
If I’m on the golf course and lightning starts, I get inside fast. If God wants to play through, let him. – Bob Hope said that one
As a writer who is in the process of querying agents (27 queries sent thus far with MANY more to send, still waiting for 21 responses) this advice is very timely.
Most actors hate auditions. I don’t know why. I love them.
An audition is your chance to show yourself at your best. You’ve spent years honing your craft. You’ve spent days polishing each detail. You’ve spent hours preparing the material. Now all of those years of work are focused into three perfect minutes. It is not a necessary evil. It’s the culmination of everything you’ve worked for and the gateway to the thing you want most.
Now go back to the first paragraph and replace the word “audition” with “query letter.” Do it. It will be eye-opening, I promise.
Most actors think that their job is acting in plays. Wrong! Their job is auditioning. The fruit of their labor is a part in a play. It’s the same with authors. Your job is not writing a book. Yes, in order to query a book you need to have written one, and a good one at that. But…
International Women’s Day: My Heroines. My heroines may look different from those posted in the attached article, and they certainly will look different from those you may consider as your heroines. That’s a very good thing because we all have different takes on the subject but the outcome is the same: heroines we admire that made a difference in their world, and in ours.
My mother with my daughter, circa 1976.
My mother: Patricia Constance Conroy Desonier was born in 1917 and died in 1994. Mom was a fair disciplinarian to us three kids and a fabulous confidant as an adult. To lose her when I was forty years old was a devastating loss for me. My biggest disappointment is that she didn’t live long enough to meet my current husband, an extraordinary man whom I met – almost exactly to the date – two years after mom died. Words to describe my mother (in addition to the above): talented musician, seamstress, faithful and supportive wife, involved parent, community activist, volunteer extraordinaire. Read the rest of this entry »
A solicitor for the Red Cross arrived at the house of a well-to-do couple to ask for a donation. Hearing a commotion inside, he knocked extra-loudly on the door.
A somewhat disheveled man opened the door. “What can I do for you?” he growled, clearly upset about something.
“I would like to speak to the Master of the house,” said the Red Cross solicitor.
“Then you’re just in time,” barked the young man, “My wife and I are settling that very question right now”
My name is Irene. I am the author of the upcoming novel Requiem for the status quo.
Some of you know me as a family member, friend, or casual acquaintance. Others are familiar with me as the author of this blog, a writer who has posted hundreds of articles over the past several years. Still others know me because of my professional connections as a volunteer advocate for vulnerable adults living in long-term care (LTC) facilities, or because of my years as an Alzheimer’s Association support group facilitator.
I’m here to announce that in addition to being the family member/friend/acquaintance/volunteer/co-employee of the past and present, I am also the novelist who has something to say.
“Oh my gosh Irene, I didn’t realize your book was already published!”
It’s not, but I’m actively pursuing agent representation by contacting several agents per day until I no longer need to.
“Why should people be interested in your book?”
Because I have an engaging way of writing about Alzheimer’s disease – a disease that will affect each and every one of you because until a cure or vaccine is developed to eradicate it, this disease is here to stay. Whether a person’s diagnosis falls into the actual Alzheimer’s category, or into one of several other dementia such as: vascular, lewy body, frontal temporal, Parkinson’s, or dementia resultant from a traumatic brain injury (TBI), there’s no escaping its effect on the unpaid caregiver (that’s you and me) and the person being cared for (spouse, partner, mother, father, brother or sister).
And here’s a fact of which some of you may not be aware: Alzheimer’s is not just an older person’s disease; an increasing number of people are being diagnosed well-before the age of 60.
The development of new friendships in LTC settings can be very comforting, as was the case with Molly and Richard. Sometimes these relationships blossom while still married to someone else. It takes extreme kindness and understanding for the cognizant spouse to allow that comfort to exist for their memory impaired loved one. It’s not a breaking of ones wedding vows, rather, it’s a celebration of still having the ability to give and receive love.
This is true story from the assisted living facility where I work. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the residents. Of all the stories I could tell you, this is one of my favorites.
I have worked in nursing homes and assisted living facilities for many years. I have seen many things and gotten to know many people. Many things have touched my heart but this one is really special.
This is a story about Richard and Molly. First I will tell you about Richard…
Richard lived with his wife, in our assisted living facility for 10 years. They had their own apartment and were a high functioning couple.
A few months ago, the wife passed away suddenly. We were all quite shocked, but none of us were more upset by her sudden death, than Richard was. His mental state began to quickly decline, after his…
Sam was the owner of a world-wide branch of stores and a millionaire many times over. When his daughter, Sandy, got engaged to a very religious young man, Sam called his future son-in-law into his office.
“So tell me,” said Sam, “what are your plans for the future?”
“Well,” said the future groom, “I plan on studying the Bible all of my life.”
“And how exactly do you plan on supporting my daughter if you’re studying all day?”
“I am sure the Lord will provide,” answered the young man.
“And what about your kids? How do you plan on supporting them?”
“The Lord will provide,” answered the young man again.
Later that evening Sam and his wife sat down to talk.
“How did it go?”, asked Sam’s wife.
“It went great,” Sam replied. “I had just met the young fellow and already he thinks I’m the Lord!”
When I’m an old lady and end up in a care facility, I sincerely hope my personality and attitudes don’t relegate me to the category of “that crabby old lady in Room 210.” Have you visited someone in a nursing home or hospital and had the distinct feeling that the patients were treated like numbers or medical cases? You know what I mean: “the urinary tract infection in 4A” or “the decubitis in South 6.” Wow, that’s a horrible thing to consider for myself: the history of all my years on this earth being characterized as a medical condition or an intolerable behavior resulting from that condition.
What about my history of being a pretty darn good mother/wife/business person/neighbor/community volunteer/friend? Doesn’t that person still exist within the body occupying that bed?
Let’s all take the time to read this poem that depicts such a scene. Gender-wise, this could be about a crabby old man as well. Read the rest of this entry »
Two guys, Jimmy and Clarence, were standing at heaven’s gate waiting to be interviewed by St. Peter.
Jimmy: “How did you get here?”
Clarence: “Hypothermia, you?”
Jimmy: “You won’t believe it. I was sure my wife was cheating on me so I came home early one day hoping to catch them in the act. I accused my wife of unfaithfulness and searched the whole house without any luck. Then I felt so bad about the whole thing, I had a massive heart attack.”
Clarence: “Oh, man, if you had checked the walk-in freezer, we’d both be alive.”
I’m re-posting this article I wrote back in 2012 that discusses one of the many “first times” survivors go through after the death of a loved one.
My article contains a link to another blogger’s article in which he discusses the experience of his first Valentine’s Day without his wife. On a personal note, that blogger is my brother, a man who came through that period of his life a survivor. Although he still misses his wife who died of early-onset Alzheimer’s disease at the age of 69, he can now look back and relive the memories of the numerous happy celebrations they both shared throughout their almost 25-year marriage with gratitude and hope for the future.
Think of a very uncomfortable subject that you don’t like to talk or even think about.
By any chance was that subject death?
If it is, you’re not alone. Given the option of getting a root canal or talking about our eventual demise, many would leap into the dental chair. Why? What’s so yucky about death? It’s an inevitable outcome of our life experience here on earth. To my knowledge, no one has successfully hidden from the grim reaper when it came knocking at their door. So what’s the big deal? I’ll tell you what’s the big deal.
Washington State’s own Jim Caviezel, film and television actor, wrote a fabulous article for the Seattle Times newspaper, attached above. I echo his sentiments about the importance of unconditional support.
Most parents don’t have a problem understanding the concept of unconditional love when it comes to their children. When a child messes up, they don’t give up on him or abandon him. Parents retain the hope that their child will do better next time, and they stand by their child to help him get there. Read the rest of this entry »
Now that my novel is finished, I decided to re-post an article I wrote about daring greatly. Everything we do requires a certain amount of risk: walking across the street, going on a 1st date, changing careers. But if we don’t take a calculated risk, we’ll never see the inside of the arena; we’ll never know what we missed.
I hope you enjoy reading this article that served to remind me that as I start to look for agent representation for my first novel, I should do so with the confidence that my vulnerability will one day pay off.
It’s not the critic who counts; it’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles; or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The credit goes to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly and who errs and fails, and is sometimes victorious. But when he fails, at least he does so daring greatly.
The above is an abbreviated quote from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, Citizenship in a Republic a/k/a The Man in the Arena, delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910.
Brené Brown, PhD, paraphrased the above when appearing on Oprah Winfrey’s show, Super Soul Sunday. I admit – I’m addicted to the types of shows that challenge the way I think, and/or that validate the way I think. This particular show that…
This fabulous article really captures the essence of what those grieving need from those with whom they’re acquainted. It also helps those uncomfortable with the topic of death to understand that there are many ways to lighten the emotional load for the person who is grieving.
The 11th suggestion I would offer is this: If you’re with someone who has recently suffered a loss and you don’t know what to say; you feel any words you offer couldn’t possibly make a difference; offer a hug. Your sincere intentions will transfer to them and just might provide them with the assurance that you acknowledge their grief and want them to know that they are not alone. Thank you Howard Whitman for offering this article to us.
Editor’s Note: The following is an excerpt from Keys to Happiness, an anthology of articles published in 1954.
Most of us want to be helpful when grief strikes a friend, but often we don’t know how. We may end up doing nothing because we don’t know the right — and helpful — things to say and do. Because that was my own experience recently, I resolved to gather pointers which might be useful to others as well as myself.
Ministers, priests, and rabbis deal with such situations every day. I went to scores of them, of all faiths, in all parts of the country.
Here are some specific suggestions they made:
1. Don’t try to “buck them up.”
This surprised me when the Rev. Arthur E. Wilson of Providence, RI mentioned it. But the others concurred. It only makes your friend feel worse when you say, “Come now…
Dietrich Gruen, the author of the attached article, is a Green Bay Packers fan. My team, the Seattle Seahawks, beat his team in the game he references in his attached article. When I’m on the receiving end of a victory, I’m always cognizant of the fact that when I’m celebrating a win, there are those who are bemoaning a loss.
Well, let me tell you, the football field is a great equalizer, as was evident yesterday when the Seahawks lost the Super Bowl to the New England Patriots. It was a devastating loss, but it was not life-changing.
Sure, it may change some aspects of some of the Seattle team members’ lives, but it won’t alter what is truly valuable: life itself. With several hours separation between Seattle’s shocking loss and now, I’m able to re-categorize that loss as a speed bump. Read the rest of this entry »
Here’s a nod towards those experiencing cold temps and lots of snow. “Cold” is a relative term so use the handy list below for added clarity. (Degrees in Fahrenheit)
65 Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
60 Californians put on sweaters if they can find one
50 Miami residents turn on the heat
45 Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
40 You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, and Minnesotans go swimming
30 You plan your vacation to Australia
25 Ohio water freezes, Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, and Canadians go swimming
15 Your cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
10 You need jumper cables to get the car started
0 Alaskans put on t-shirts
-15 You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick their tongue onto metal objects, and Miami residents cease to exist
-20 Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you
-30 You plan a two week hot bath
-40 Californians cease to exist, Minnesotans button their top button, and Canadians put on sweaters
-50 Congressional hot air freezes and Alaskans close the bathroom window
This is NOT an article about football. Anyone who has a loved one for whom they provide care – whether hands-on or peripheral – knows all too well how unpredictable life can be with that 24/7 responsibility. We’d all like to think that special occasions and events are immune from medical emergencies and other disasters, but all too often that is not the case.
Welcome to the life of a caregiver.
I honestly didn’t think I had another football article in me but the unfortunate circumstances in my best friend’s life have proven otherwise. Read the rest of this entry »
In my blog post, BEWARE of this Craigslist scam, I highlighted an online crime that almost succeeded in robbing one of my family members. He posted a piano for sale – a piano that needed quite a bit of work to make it operational – and he almost got taken to the cleaners. (Read the BEWARE article for the details.)
A couple weeks later, a true lover of all-things piano contacted my family member and said he was interested in purchasing the piano and he and his wife wanted to have a look-see. The couple arrived – a couple in their 80s – and when the husband took one look at the beat up piano he said, “You’ve got a deal!”
It turns out, this fellow is an expert at restoring pianos. For years now, he’s been buying pianos that are on their last legs; he restores them and gives them to children who would otherwise not be able to own a piano. What a fabulous gift these future piano virtuosos – and their parents – receive because of this couple’s “ministry” of helping young musicians.
I’m thrilled I was able to provide this Craigslist redemption story that – in my mind – wipes out the bad taste in my mouth from the previous one.
I promise after Super Bowl XLIX I’ll have less football-centric posts, but until that time, here’s another. This post by Richard Sherman one year ago was his opportunity to thank Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll for being a winning coach both on the field and off. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: football isn’t just about beating people up on the playing field. Coach Carroll gets that, and so do his team players.
And when you think you’re listening, are you really listening or are you constructing a response to the person who is talking to you? All the instructional teachings I’ve read about being fully present in any given situation indicate that true listening can’t afford the luxury of distraction.
True listening honors the person with whom you’re connecting. Conversely, being distracted reveals ones disregard for someone. Read the rest of this entry »
Forgive me those of you who are not Seahawks fans, but here’s another article about teamwork and community that relates to football AND life in general. Richard Sherman, cornerback for the Seahawks, is a guest columnist for this Sports Illustrated blog.
Working in tandem is effective only when each person grabs a hold of the baton for their portion of the project. In relay racing, one person doesn’t run the entire race, everyone does their part; no single effort is worth more than the other.
When you read Larry Stone’s and my articles (both attached above) you’ll come to the conclusion that the principle that is being proposed is not just football-related, it’s also society-related. Read the rest of this entry »