Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on March 16, 2015 Updated on March 15, 2015

Happy day before St. Patrick’s Day!  I’m half Irish so I want to celebrate by providing a couple Irish-themed jokes to start off your week with a laugh or two:

A Spanish singer chatting on television used the word manana.  When asked what that meant, he said, “It means, maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that, next week, next month or next year.  It’s like, who cares?”

Shay Brennan, an Irishman in the conversation, was asked if there’s an Irish equivalent.  “No, in Ireland we don’t have a word to describe that level of urgency.”

There was a Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman all taking a tea break at a building site.  The Englishman pipes up, “If my wife puts cheese on my sandwich again, I am going to kill myself.”  The Scotsman says, “If my wife puts egg on my sandwich again, I will kill myself.”  The Irishman says, “If I find ham on my sandwich again, I will kill myself.”

Sure enough, the next day all three men open their lunch boxes and find the sandwiches are all full of cheese, egg, and ham so they all go off to different parts of the construction site and kill themselves.

Later in the week, all three men are being buried and the Englishman’s wife says, “If he didn’t want cheese on his sandwich he should have told me.”  The Scotsman’s wife says the same concerning the egg sandwich.  Then the Irishman’s wife pipes up, “I can’t understand this, Paddy makes his own sandwich.”