Lighten up Mondays

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I celebrated my birthday last week, an event that really doesn’t bother me. There are those who aren’t quite enamored with getting older. Here’s some humor for you:

Rock stars used to say, “Don’t trust anyone over 30!”
Now that many of them are over 50 they say, “Oops, we didn’t mean us.”

***

You Know Your Old When:

  • You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
  • People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
  • You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
  • The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.
  • Things you buy now won’t wear out.
  • You sing along with the elevator music.
  • You wear black socks with sandals.
  • You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
  • When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
  • Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

 

Stop Doing That: reblogged

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We need to treat our time on this earth as more valuable than we are currently doing. TIME is fleeting, please believe that fact.

COMPLAINING does nothing toward changing that which upsets us . . . when was the last time your screaming at traffic helped the situation? We’ll never get back the time we’ve spent doing worthless and unproductive things.

And above all else, we need to spend more time being kind to ourselves, and to others. Time spent being kind will multiply itself exponentially. Try it, you’ll agree.

notquiteold

All through our lives, we have to do stuff we really don’t want to do.

We all pay bills and taxes, and that really sucks. I wish my Grandma was here with her little change purse, giving me a quarter right now.

We all obey laws – stopping at red lights and picking up dog poop – although not at the same time of course.

We also obey people that we don’t necessarily agree with or respect.  I have several bosses that come to mind right now. There are lots of people in the world telling us what to do all our lives and we just grit our teeth and get it done.

Most of us have worked at jobs we hated at some point in our lives – and we stuck it out because of the economy or other pressures. Lack of options is the nastiest boss of all.

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Kindness Fridays

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For years now, I’ve practiced the habit of celebrating even the smallest of victories that come my way. The more aware I am of something that goes right, or of something that brings joy to my life, the more celebrations I get to enjoy.

Tuesday of this week saw me hustling and bustling around town getting various errands accomplished and even though my adrenaline was at a high level, I still could use some help. While at my local grocery store I purchased a Diet Pepsi in a screw bottle and got in my car to continue the remainder of my day’s tasks.

Except I couldn’t open the Pepsi bottle. After several valiant attempts to unscrew the top, I stopped just short of shredding the skin on the inside of my hand. I’m pretty sure the bottle top machine in the factory needs to be adjusted a bit so the consumer can enjoy their beverage right away instead of having to bulk up one’s upper body before attempting access.

Next stop was to fill up my Corolla with gas; that’s when I saw my opportunity. I approached a young man in the commercial truck behind me at the pump and asked if he could please unscrew the top of my Pepsi because, “that caffeine ain’t gonna get in my body any other way.” With a smile on his face, he gladly fulfilled my request which then put a smile on my face.

Kindness doesn’t have to be earth shattering to make a difference – it can be as simple as helping a caffeine-starved person get their fix.

Lighten up Mondays

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Time for some humor at the expense of mothers everywhere: texting acronyms.

Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.

Son: Why is that funny?

Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?

Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.

Mom: I thought it meant Lots 
of Love. I have to call everyone back.

***

Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.

Mom: WTF!

Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?

Mom: Well That’s Fantastic?

***

Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?

Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.

***

Tweets from a Jimmy Fallon episode:

I once got a text from my mom where “You’re amazing” autocorrected to “You’re adopted.”
@StefenColalillo

On Valentiine’s Day last year, my mom texted me, “Enjoy your VD.” Not the best time to 
abbreviate, Mom.
@HollyLouHarris

My mom once texted me “can you come over, I want you to take a selfie of me.”
@stefaniLegs

Kindness Fridays

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Today’s installment combines two passions of mine: kindness and hiking.

Since my husband’s retirement in April of 2016, we’ve managed to hike every week except during the winter months. Now with the snow a distant memory on most of the Pacific Northwest trails, we’re well into this year’s hiking season.

On Tuesday of this week, we headed out to Barclay Lake located in the lower Stevens Pass area of western Washington. This was a new hike for me and one perfectly suited for a sprained right foot, mine, needing a bit of coddling while on its healing journey. The hike was just under 5 miles and only had an elevation gain of 500 feet.

About two miles into our hike and a half mile from the lake, a couple in their late 60s were making their descent and as I always do for every hiker we meet on the trail, I greeted the man and woman which then encouraged them to pause and spend some time with us. This couple hiked 30 times last year – to our 18 times – which seriously encouraged me to continue our hiking activities during the winter season, albeit on trails at lower elevations to avoid snow encounters along the way. The kindness extended was the mutual sharing of favorite hiking destinations: for us, it was Margaret Lake, for them, Bowen Bay.

My husband and I, geared up.

The excitement from each couple describing their particular trail favorite created a commonality of experience that went beyond any differences we may harbor within ourselves, be they political, religious, life experience, or otherwise. The four of us agreed that being out in nature and accomplishing our individual hiking goals contributed greatly to our quality of life.

On the trail, differences in beliefs or political leanings simply don’t come into play. And that, my friends, is a glorious way to experience kindness.

 

The Alzheimer’s caregiver: NOT a fictional character

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REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, to be released July 2017, contains fictional characters right out of yours and my reality. If your life hasn’t been impacted by caregiving for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, you are at least tangentially connected to someone who has been.

  • A parent’s senior moments transform into hair-raising episodes of wandering and getting lost at all hours of the day and night during varied seasonal temperatures that may very well threaten their lives.
  • The husband who was Mr. Fixit for all home repairs, big and small, no longer knows how to use a screwdriver, and becomes combative when challenged.
  • A sister’s successful writing career is derailed when she can no longer write coherently or understand the written word.
  • The middle-aged next door neighbor pounds on your front door demanding entry to his home and threatens to call the authorities if you don’t immediately vacate the premises.

Variations of these scenarios abound, and within those story-like confines exist the caregivers who have been thrust into a role for which they were not prepared, derailing their status quo – their normalcy – beyond recognition. These same caregivers had very full lives before their days became what has become the caregiver’s  36-Hour Day. Any down time they enjoyed prior to stepping into their ill-fitting caregiver shoes has been filled with doctors’ appointments, loved one-sitting, and putting out fires. Carefully crafted family and retirement plans are no longer feasible because life as the caregiver once knew it no longer exists.

REQUIEM will give readers an intimate look at a caregiver’s day-to-day reality while also endeavoring to provide hope for what lies ahead. To be sure, there are no happy endings, but promises of resolution and lightness spring forth in the least likely of places and during some of the most awkward of times. Whether you are a caregiver, a former caregiver, or know someone who is, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO will become a most cherished and often-read bookshelf addition.

Lighten up Mondays

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Time for a play on words on food.

  • What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? (soy = “I am”)
  • What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
  • A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you can’t drink here!” The mushroom says, “Why not, I’m a Fun-gi!”
  • I entered what I ate today in my new smartphone fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
  • Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough.
  • I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
  • Interviewer: “Why do you want this job?” Me: “I’ve always been very passionate about not starving to death.”
  • People are a lot less judgy when you say you ate an avocado salad instead of a bowl of guacamole.
  • Subway is the healthiest fast-food out there because they make you get out of the car to get it.
  • On a first date: It probably looks like I’m listening to your story, but I’m really thinking, “Close your menu or the waiter will never come over!”

I hope your week gives you something to laugh about at least once a day.