Baby Boomers

Countdowns

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Our need for countdowns is something we most likely don’t think about 24/7, but while we’re in the midst of one we are front and center and ready to move forward. 

Take the Holidays, for example. As soon as I turn over the calendar page to November, I’ve hit the ground running and once the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday has arrived, it’s just a matter of days before Christmas is upon us and then, voila! The end of the year and the start of a new one!

Whether counting down the days until the start of a planned vacation or our much anticipated retirement from work, we love crossing out the days that bring us closer to our goal. It’s sobering to realize, however, that the passage of time not only brings us to notable calendar events but it also ushers us into the inevitable aging that many of us have the privilege of experiencing.

And it is a privilege, isn’t it? We are all intimately acquainted with the fact that not everyone has spent as much time aging as we have: adult siblings and other loved ones die far too young, friends are victim of a disease or an accident that robs them of their lives, and most cruelly, children fall victim to similar diseases and accidents that rip them from the face of the earth, robbing them of the opportunity to grow up and move forward into productive and event-filled lives.

Most of us will not know in advance how long our lives will be, but as we age, we tend to feel the passage of time.

But it’s not all equal-knowing, is it? There are glorious days when I am shocked by the realization that I am sixty-eight years of age, followed by days when I can hardly believe I’m not far older than my years. But all in all, I celebrate that I am still here – even with the aches and pains and frustrations oftentimes inherent with aging. I am not counting down the days until I am no longer here – that’s a fruitless and unrealistic practice in which to be engaged – but I am celebrating that thus far I can most certainly count 25,016 days as my portion. 

 

 

Status Quo or Same-O Same-O

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How often have you felt defeated because your day-to-day existence is somewhat routine and boring?

The life of a family caregiver, attending to a loved one with a disease or malady that is all-encompassing, is never Same-O Same-O. Any semblance of status quo flies out the window shortly after taking on this learn-as-you-go caregiver role. The boring life about which the family caregiver used to complain no longer exists as she or he memorializes that long-abandoned way of living. My memorial to status quo existed while attending to my father during his Alzheimer’s journey.

Requiem for the Status Quo speaks of that memorial to things that once were.

A wealth of books about Alzheimer’s disease

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AlzAuthors is a community of more than 200 extraordinary authors who have written about Alzheimer’s disease and other dementia. Today I am spotlighting those books written by the community’s supportive management team, of which I am a member. Please take time to visit the six books spotlighted below. I truly believe you will be glad you did. Let AlzAuthors light your way through Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Alzheimer’s Daughter – a memoir by Jean Lee. A poignant accounting of a family’s life after both parents were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease on the same day.

Blue Hydrangeas – an Alzheimer’s love story by Marianne Sciucco. A touching account of a couple’s journey into Alzheimer’s and of the love that never succumbed to the disease.

Somebody Stole My Iron: A Family Memoir of Dementia by Vicki Tapia. This engaging memoir offers useful information from experts within the field of Alzheimer’s research, personal lessons the author learned along the way, and ideas and tips for managing the day-to-day ups and downs of dementia.

Weeds in Nana’s Garden by Kathryn Harrison. A heartfelt story of love that helps explain Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias geared toward the children in our lives.

Motherhood: Lost and Found – a memoir by Ann Campanella. A memoir of the ordinary and extraordinary courage of those who endure debilitating and even crushing illness, and those who suffer with them when they do so.

Requiem for the Status Quo by Irene Frances Olson. A novel that explores the delicate balance of families upended by Alzheimer’s disease and how they manage their loved one’s needs with their own.

This Week’s Good News!

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This week’s story comes to us from the UK where a supermarket chain pulled out all the stops to keep a woman on staff, regardless of her limitations. It is not often that a person’s company feels like family, but that was definitely the case for Ms. Salomon’s working experience.

Discounted book about Alzheimer’s!

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The eBook and audiobook of Requiem for the status quo will continue to be available on Amazon until the end of 2019. I am going to self-publish the paperback version through my publishing arm, Words Matter Press so as of March 1, 2019, you will not be able to purchase a paperback copy for your bookshelf until Words Matter Press’s Spring 2019 release on Amazon.

 

In the meantime, the Amazon paperback price for the month of February has been reduced so those who want to add this book to their library can do so at a discounted price before supplies run out. If you are a Prime member, shipping is FREE! 

Let these recent reviews encourage you to get your copy today!

Rubies My mother recently died from Alzheimer’s, and I could really relate to everything she wrote about. All her information is very accurate, and I felt like she was on the journey with me.

Vicki T. Olson draws in the reader, introducing us to the Quinn family, including protagonist Colleen, daughter and primary caregiver for Patrick, her beloved father, diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. The author deftly weaves together the stages of this dreadful disease throughout her fast-paced narrative and in so doing, educates us on the progression of this always fatal disease. The characters are down-to-earth and believable, the story sprinkled with both humor and the pain of loss. A must-read for any caregiver whose loved one has been diagnosed with dementia.
Ann H. Irene Frances Olson does not flinch from the specific cruelties of Alzheimer’s disease in this novel, and I admire that very much. It is devastating to lose someone you love, bit by bit; devastating to watch them struggle to think as their brain is constricted by plaques and tangles. That said, this is also the story of how taking on the role of caregiver can be incredibly meaningful, even though it is also impossibly exhausting. In this case, an adult daughter is caring for a father she loves, and their mutual affection is made very poignant by the toll of the illness.

 

Weather got you down? Read a book!

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Boy do I have a book for you. The paperback of Requiem for the status quo is discounted until the end of February. For only $13.95, you can add this book to your To Be Read (TBR) list!

If the Ebook is more to your liking, it is currently just $4.99 or free to Amazon Unlimited subscribers. It will always be available, but the paperback will not be, at least until later this year.

Time’s running out: discount book sale ends late 11/13

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All of the books shown in this graphic are part of the AlzAuthors Caregiver Appreciation week-long sale, starting today, November 7th. You’ll see my novel, Requiem for the status quo, in the upper right corner that is priced at 99 cents from Nov 7th through 13th. To link to all the books you see above, click on the AlzAuthors link here. Simply click on the book’s image and it will take you directly to its page on Amazon, making it extremely easy to purchase as many titles as you please. And don’t forget to gift others with titles as well. It’s so easy to do and the recipients of your gifts will be so pleased that you’ve thought of them.

Kindness Fridays

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This week’s kindness spotlights the Women’s Fiction Writers Association (WFWA) a fabulous group for writers of women’s fiction. Most if not all the administrative staff is volunteer – the reason why their kindness is this week’s selection. As a member of this organization, I was given the opportunity to have a podcast recorded for their Hear Me Roar program because I’m a debut author. Although my novel, Requiem for the status quo was released a year ago, it was my debut publishing effort.

This podcast is approximately 30 minutes in length, and although my novel is certainly the focus, much attention was spent on the prevalence of Alzheimer’s and other dementias in the world. Perhaps this podcast will keep you company on your commute in the next few days; although it may seem a bit choppy, I think it’s worth hanging in there to hear my, and the host’s, provocative discussion.

My novel’s 1st anniversary

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Requiem for the status quo‘s anniversary is the perfect opportunity to announce my involvement with a fabulous project focused on Alzheimer’s disease.

I am one of over 150 authors from around the world who will be represented at the Alzheimer’s Association – Western Carolina Chapter’s Dementia Education conference in Charlotte, N.C., this August. I, and over 25 other AlzAuthors, have donated copies of their books, which will be given away in a raffle to conference attendees.

I wanted to support this cause because during my caregiving experience in the early 2000s, I most definitely could have used more fiction about Alzheimer’s to normalize my day-to-day stresses, and some up-to-date non-fiction to help my learn-as-you-go caregiving experience. Something else from which I surely could have benefited is the non-profit, AlzAuthors. AlzAuthors.com is a nonprofit website that shares information on books and blogs about Alzheimer’s and dementia. I am proud to say that I, too, am a member of this fine organization. Had it been available prior to my father’s death from Alzheimer’s disease, I no doubt would have tapped into its resources.

AlzAuthors started in 2015, when Founders Jean Lee from Ohio, Vicki Tapia from Montana and Marianne Sciucco from New York, who had also written books about Alzheimer’s, met in cyberspace. They discussed the growing need for resources about dementia. A year later, after Shannon Wierbitzky joined the team, the group started a website and published posts from 60 authors. In 2017, Canadian Kathryn Harrison and Ann Campanella from North Carolina joined the administrative team.

Since that time AlzAuthors has published weekly posts, sharing resources about books and blogs that focus on Alzheimer’s and other dementias. The site has grown to include over 150 AlzAuthors from around the world and has a bookstore with a vast collection of top books for individuals, doctor’s offices, assisted living facilities and other eldercare services. AlzAuthors also has a thriving presence on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. AlzAuthors Jean Lee and Ann Campanella, whose memoirs were recently named to Book Authority’s Best Alzheimer’s Books of All Time List, will share “The Story Behind the Stories” of AlzAuthors at the Alzheimer’s Association conference.

“Together We Can,” the Dementia Education Conference held by the Alzheimer’s Association – Western Carolina Chapter, will take place on Wednesday, Aug. 29, from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.at the Friendship Missionary Baptist Church, 3400 Beatties Ford Road in Charlotte, N.C. The event is geared for healthcare professionals, caregivers, people living with Alzheimer’s or related dementia and members of the general public. Attendees will learn more about research, caregiving practices and tools to assist in the journey with Alzheimer’s. For more information, visit ALZ.org/NorthCarolina or call 800-272-3900.

For more information about AlzAuthors. visit their website: https://alzauthors.com/.

National Alzheimer’s Month Book Deals

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September is World Alzheimer’s Month. READ THIS ARTICLE CAREFULLY TO DISCOVER HOW YOU CAN WIN A FREE COPY OF MY NOVEL, Requiem for the status quo.

Several of the AlzAuthors group of writers who have written fiction or non-fiction books on the subject of Alzheimer’s or other dementia are offering special, discounted offers to those who would like to get ahold of a select group of books being offered September 27 – 30, 2017.

I am a member of this group of writers and am offering a total of eight free copies of my novel, Requiem for the status quo: four (4) free Kindle eBooks and four (4) free paperback books (the latter available to residents of the United States only). All you need to do is Like/Follow my author Facebook page, then write a comment in the AlzAuthor post that appears on that page.

In order to get in the drawing for a free Kindle eBook or free paperback copy,  you must indicate in the comment section which format you would prefer: Kindle eBook or paperback. Please don’t say you don’t care which format you receive; for accounting and distribution purposes I will only put your name in one of the drawings so be sure to specify your preference.

All those Liking my page and posting a comment indicating their format preference will have their names entered into a drawing that will take place at Noon, Pacific Standard Time, on Saturday, September 30th. I will Messenger the winners through FB to request either your e-mail address (for eBook sending) or postal delivery address (for paperback book shipment) so that I can send out your complimentary book copies the first week of October.

But I am not the only author offering great deals on books – all the books contained within the graphic on this post are discounted during the September 27 – 30th timeframe. Be sure to go to the AlzAuthors website, click on the Bookstore tab, locate the author and their book being offered at a discounted price, click on the photo of their book and you will be directed to the site where their discounted book can be purchased. Since I am personally offering free copies of my novel – as opposed to doing so through an Amazon.com promotion – you will not find Requiem for the status quo in the AlzAuthors bookstore during this promotion.

 

New Year, New Focus, New Look

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20160922_130340I’ve been authoring this blog, Baby Boomers and More, for five and a half years. Perhaps that’s a record for blog ownership, I’m not sure, but what I do know is that I thoroughly enjoy writing about matters of significance. I guess that’s why my blog has survived as long as it has: there are a heck of a lot of things going on in the world that fall into that category.

My website address remains the same: http://www.babyboomersandmore.com, but with a broader emphasis on life as it unfolds for all of us born within a certain year bracket:

  • iGen (after 2000)
  • Millennials (1980-2000)
  • Gen X (1965-1979)
  • Baby Boomers (1946-1964) and
  • The Greatest Generation (before the end of WWII).

Yes, there are many differences between the generations but we have one major characteristic in common: although as individuals we are strong in many ways, we still need each other to get to the finish line.

With that change in overall focus comes a new, primary blog identification:

Living: the ultimate team sport

Featured Image -- 8032If we consider all the people with whom we come in contact as being members of the same team, we will do all we can to support them. We’ll bolster rather than compete; we’ll pick them up rather than step over them as a means to an end; we’ll exhibit respect for each other’s talents while nurturing our own; we’ll not take advantage of weaknesses in order to falsely boost our own strengths. In short, we’ll stand by our teammates and want only the very best for them.

Another goal of mine: write more succinctly, at least after this particular post. 🙂 I know you’re all busy and have better things to do than read my oftentimes lengthy magnum opuses. I’m newly committed to being as succinct as possible, somewhere along the lines of an article I wrote on December 27, 2016: Don’t go there. Let’s face it, as a writer, I should be able to use an economy of words to get my point across to those who’ve chosen to follow me.

And one last thing: the header images you’ll see at the top of my blog (which will cycle through randomly) are from photos I took during a few of my hikes around the Pacific Northwest. Hiking is my passion, so I’m pleased to provide snapshots of views I have been privileged to see.

With that, I’ll sign off for now, so very glad to be a member of your team.

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

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Very Inspiring Blogger AwardHumbled, grateful, overjoyed!  Not just because I was nominated for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award, but also because I’ve inspired someone, hopefully many someones.  Talking to a wall is not a very gratifying experience; if my blog is merely an electronic version of that, I will have not reached my objective: to help, encourage, and lighten your load while on this aging journey.  Thank you Kay for the nomination!

Kay Bransford of Dealing with Dementia nominated me for this award.  If any of you readers have yet to follow Kay’s blog you need to get to it.  I will nominate several bloggers for the same award, following the Rules provided below:

  • Thank the amazing person who nominated you and provide a link to their website;
  • List the rules and display the award;
  • Share seven facts about yourself;
  • Nominate 15 other blogs and comment on their posts to let them know they’ve been nominated.  I failed at listing 15, not because the blogs I follow aren’t worthy, but because my blog-following count is a limited one;
  • Proudly display the award logo on your blog and follow the blogger who nominated you.

Seven facts about myself:

1.  I’m not ashamed to say that I’m a Baby Boomer and have been for awhile.  Turning sixty was easy, however it got a wee bit more difficult at sixty-one …

2.  I was born in Pasadena, California and have lived a great length of time in Los Angeles, California; Honolulu, Hawaii; Anchorage, Alaska, and the greater Seattle area of Washington State – my current and final home.

3.  My favorite people – other than my loved ones – are anyone older than me – preferably senior citizens who’ve claimed that title for quite some time.  This third fact about me directed most of my worthwhile adult career and volunteer pursuits: senior housing industry manager, Alzheimer’s Association caregiver support group facilitator, and Certified Long-Term Care (LTC) Ombudsman for the State of Washington.

4.  I have posted over 480 articles on my blog since starting it in 2011.

5.  I am currently writing a novel that focuses on the caregiving challenges faced by those who are the primary caregiver for a loved one.  Through real-life stories, the reader will learn more about the disease and its effect on everyone it touches.  My hope is that by putting a face on this disease – showing what it looks like in everyday life – more interest will be generated to prevent, treat, and cure Alzheimer’s disease, a disease that is always fatal, and for which all of us are at risk.

6.  I have three daughters (one of my own and two of my husband’s) and two sons-in-law (one who married my own daughter and one who married my husband’s youngest.)

7.  My family tree: I have two siblings, an older brother and sister.  My father died from Alzheimer’s complications in October 2007 at the age of 89; my sister-in-law died of the disease in the summer of 2012 a few months before her 70th birthday9.

And that’s why I do what I do.

Nominees for Very Inspiring Blogger Award:

Mary Riesche Studios, Vacaville, California.  This artist has drawn and painted since she could hold a pencil.  She has tirelessly pursued her craft through every chapter of her life.  She raised four children while her husband was in the military – living numerous places in Europe and the U.S. as a result – and that never stopped her from painting.  When her four children were out of the house, she and her husband adopted a teenager from Russia, bringing the number of children to five.  She’s a trooper, to say the least.  It took her a while to have an empty nest.  I hope you’ll visit her site to see a representation of the type of work she produces.

Catching Up to the Disease, by blogger, Don Desonier.  The subtitle for this blog is Transitions in Dementia Caregiving.  Don’s wife died of early-onset Alzheimer’s at the age of 69 on July 4th, 2012.  This blogger knows something about being a dedicated, committed caregiver, and on top of that, he excelled at being the very present advocate for his wife of 25 years.

Dementia Poetry is an in your face journal of a daughter-in-law’s disease journey with her mother-in-law, in the form of extremely well-written poems.  The subtitle for her blog is: The Politically Incorrect Alzheimer’s Poetry Blog.

Theresa Hupp’s blog, Story and History, is a moving journal of a family’s life covering past, present, and future.  But that’s not all: Theresa is a fabulous, published author.  I’d say I’m jealous, but friends, and that’s what I consider Theresa, don’t turn green with envy – at least they shouldn’t.  Theresa, you nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award in February of 2014, but I already received that award a couple years ago so I’m not going to claim it again, but I thank you profusely for nominating me.

Not My Original Plan, a blog written by a woman in her thirties who is the caregiver for her mother who has dementia.  This is a very inspirational blog – how fitting for this award! – and I strongly suggest you check it out and follow it ASAP.

Not Quite Old, by blogger and author, Nancy Roman.  The subtitle for her blog is Gracefully Aging with Resistance.  The way Nancy writes – filled with extraordinary humor, will keep you engaged and wanting more.

Let’s Talk About Family.  Lori’s blog family history starts with her mother’s failing health and death, and continues with her father’s life as a widower who eventually moves into an assisted living facility (ALF).  Her blog is one that I never miss.  You know how you can manage the notifications you receive so that you get a notification e-mail immediately, daily, or once weekly?  Her blog is one of those that I receive immediate notifications – I can’t wait any longer! is the way I treat her blog.  If you are not yet following Lori’s blog, get to it!

Jill Weatherholt, Pursuing a Passion for Writing, is a site that inspires me because while working full-time, she’s still committed to writing and what she writes is well-worth reading.  Thank you, Jill, for being an online inspiration to this aspiring author.  Jill started the blog to create a community for other new writers and shares her publication journey – something all wet-behind-the-ears writers need to read and be encouraged by.

10 Legs in the Kitchen is a fabulous cooking blog but a whole lot more. Stacy’s anecdotes add “meat” to every posting and provide humor and insight, not just darn good recipes.  I met Stacy at a writer’s workshop in Seattle.

Yellow Mum Blog, by Wendy in the United Kingdom, documents the loss of her mother to cancer, ten weeks after diagnosis.  What she writes is a journal, but in many respects, it is a guidebook for the rest of us in our grief.

A Swift Current, Letting our Parents Go, Hallie Swift’s blog is one to which  many will relate.  Whether your parent’s departure is a gradual one – such as is the case with Hallie’s mother due to dementia – or a sudden departure by way of a fatal accident, letting go is hard to do – oftentimes more painful that we believe we can handle.

 

Baby Boomers – what is your Mt. Everest moment?

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Associated Press News story  – Japanese climber, 80, becomes oldest atop Everest.

The above article chronicles a “competition” between two gentlemen in their 80’s who endeavored to become the oldest person to reach the summit of Mt. Everest.   I’m happy to say that 80-year old Yuichiro Miura reached the summit successfully on May 23rd, 2013 and became the oldest person to do so.  Following on his heels is an 81-year old Nepalese man, Min Bahadur Sherchan, who will make his attempt some time next week, most likely making Mr. Miura’s 15 minutes of fame just a bit of has-been news as the Nepalese man takes his place as the oldest to successfully reach the summit.  Not many of us – alright, none of us – will reach the summit of Mt. Everest or even care to do so…

and that’s okay.

The last rays of sunlight on Mount Everest on ...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We all have Everest moments, don’t we?  Yuichiro Miura’s goal to summit Everest is not our goal.  Mr. Miura stated his reason/goal to climb Everest: “It is to challenge my own ultimate limit.”  We all have our personalized goals that involve reaching our own ultimate limit.  I’ve had many of those moments in my 60 years of life – some of them exercise related, but more importantly, most of them were personal growth related.  The most recent exercise goal has been the successful completion of two one-hour Pure Barre exercise classes…with three more to go in order to fully utilize the gift package that my daughter Erin gave me in honor of my 60 years.  We’re doing this together, and please know that my 37 year old daughter is in far better shape than I am  …  and that’s okay.  I am no expert on this type of exercise, and believe me, within minutes of completing each session, I’m in excruciating pain.  But that’s okay because those exercise sessions didn’t kill me nor did they disable me; they simply made me realize that I was up to the challenge of doing more than I thought I was able.

Isn’t that the key?  Maybe your Everest goal is finally having the courage to talk to someone about matters that concern you; or your Everest goal is changing jobs – or changing relationships; or perhaps your Everest summit is completing your high school or college education?  Whatever your goal – whatever your Everest – when you reach that goal you are no less newsworthy than Mr. Miura or Mr. Sherchan.  Quite frankly, what these octogenarians are doing is fabulous and I respect and honor their accomplishments – but I don’t admire their accomplishments any more than those of which you and I are the proudest.  Mr. Miura stated that a successful climb would raise the bar for what is possible and that he had a strong determination that now is the time.

Now is always the time – because it’s the only time we have.

I’ll complete the remainder of the exercise gift package that my daughter gave me.  Who knows, maybe I’ll buy some more sessions to continue on that journey – maybe I won’t.  What I do know, however, is that I will always set goals, and I will always do my best to reach them.

When you do your best – you’ve done the best you can.

I hope you’ll feel proud enough of your Mt. Everest moments to share them with all of us.  I, for one, can hardly wait to hear about them.

10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents

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10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents.

This VERY comprehensive article is designed for a person’s elderly parents but guess what…us Baby Boomers need to be aware of these resources as well so I want to pass this article along to you!  It helped me – I hope it’s a great resource for you as well.

Be an advocate for your aging loved one.

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If your loved one no longer has a voice in which to defend or advocate for herself, who better to do so than you?

In this post I will assume that your loved one, e.g., parent, grandparent, spouse, or sibling, lives in a long-term care (LTC) facility.  Oftentimes by the time our parent has entered a facility, we are so relieved that someone else has taken over the caregiving, we willingly take a back seat and let the professionals do their job.  By all means, reward yourself with the freedom that less active caregiving of your loved one has afforded you, but don’t leave your caregiving role behind.

I know it’s hard to hear what I’m about to say – especially since you finally turned over your parent’s caregiving to someone else – but I want to encourage you to NOT assume that the care being provided (or withheld) is in your loved one’s best interests.  It’s easy to have a perhaps unwarranted laid-back attitude because:

  1. mom is being taken care of by trained professionals who wouldn’t be doing this job if they didn’t love it; and/or
  2. mom is living in a ritzy/expensive place so it must be the best option for her; and/or
  3. this place couldn’t possibly have any problems as witnessed by the waiting list we had to climb to get her accepted.

I wish all of the above points were reason enough to become somewhat removed from the picture but the truth of the matter is that none of the above have any bearing on the quality of care being provided to your mom.  Let’s take each point separately.

  1. Without a doubt, there are caregivers and management staff that truly do love what they do and this attitude is demonstrated in the compassionate way in which they care for your loved one.  However, in 2007, studies showed that staff turnover rates ranged from 50 percent to well over 300 percent a year!  There’s a reason why caregiver turnover is so high.  This job is TOUGH and the pay is unconscionably low.  A 2004 U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services report addresses the front line long-term care workforce challenges which have only increased in the past several years.  This report is worth your while to read.  Learning is power – right?
  2. Champagne and chandelier facilities are just that – beautiful buildings on their face, but not necessarily representative of the care being provided.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m aware that stellar higher-end senior housing companies exit, but it’s important that we not be lulled into thinking that glitz equals great.   Sometimes what I call “generic” buildings oftentimes provide as good or better care.
  3. The waiting lists that so frequently exist for LTC facilities – especially for dementia care – are representative of the demand for space that, as of 2011, is not adequate for the burgeoning influx of Baby Boomers needing care.  So a waiting list does not necessarily represent quality.

So here are some pointers for you that I hope encourage your continued involvement in your loved one’s care.

SPEAK UP.  You don’t have to be a squeaky wheel to get the grease.

  • Be persistent yet respectful.
  • Take the time to be a part of your loved one’s care meetings/conferences with staff to discern their reasons for the care being provided.
  • Be present: in person if you live nearby or by phone if you are a long distance family caregiver.  Trust me, if the caregivers know that you care and are going to be an active family participant, you’ll get their attention, and so will your loved one.

OBSERVE.  When visiting your loved one, observe her behavior and demeanor; her cleanliness and her appearance.  How does it differ from visit to visit?  Is her room tidy, clean and uncluttered?  One way to observe staff members in action is to accompany your mom on facility outings.  Observe the staff’s interaction with the residents.  Do they speak respectfully to them?  Are they patient with them?  Do the residents enjoy their outings or do you get the impression that these outings are forced upon them?  All of these impressions are important towards discerning what goes on in your absence.

ADVOCACY RESOURCES.  Do your part in acquiring the tools needed to better understand the resident rights guaranteed by law that your loved one should be receiving as a long-term care facility resident.  Each state in this country has a LTC Ombudsman program.  Get acquainted with their mission of advocating on behalf of vulnerable adults and contact your local program to receive help in assuring optimal care for your loved one.

Navigating the maze of long-term care housing choices.

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The most comfortable decisions you can make in life are well-informed ones.  Whether you are choosing a vehicle, the vacation of a lifetime, or a potential residence, doing so is made easier when you’re armed with essential information.  Oftentimes when inundated with too many choices, we exclaim that we would rather have fewer options from which to choose.  “Give me two choices and I’ll be able to decide – six or more? Forgetaboutit!”  There is one time, however, when you will welcome a diversity of options: selecting appropriate care in your Senior years.

Identifying the person in need of care.

Gazebo at dementia unit where my father lived.

This quest upon which you are embarking may be your own personal quest.  You know staying in your current home might prove dangerous to you – and therefore inadvisable – in the years to come.  Or perhaps you just want to retire from doing house repairs and weekend yard work –and who doesn’t?  Whatever the reason, you’re considering your options for when you might be less able to take care of your daily needs.

Another scenario is that your spouse, parent or sibling is in need of some sort of long-term care resultant from a debilitating condition such as cognitive decline, mobility restrictions and/or advancing age, so you’re trying to discern how best to address the care needs associated with their condition.

There are two primary care options from which to choose:

  • Aging in Place – This blog posting addresses the option of staying put and making adjustments that modify a residence to suit your needs or that of your loved one.  Also included in this option is the potential for hiring in-home care.  Both of these options allow a person to remain in their home for as long as possible.
  • Long-term care (LTC) housing options.  In a future posting I will address the available categories of long-term care (LTC) housing and will provide resources that should be helpful towards choosing a replacement for your current residential situation.

Both options have Pros and Cons involved with them.  But only you know what best fits your personal situation.

Aging in Place: I don’t even want to think about moving!

Aging in Place refers to living where you have lived for many years using products, services and conveniences to enable you to remain where you are.  To successfully age in place without moving you will most likely need to accommodate the physical and cognitive changes that may accompany aging.

Structural changes.  Both the inside and outside of the home could eventually require some structural adjustments to accommodate a person’s current – and future – needs.

  • If you live in a two-story house and your primary bedroom and bathroom are upstairs, does your bottom floor afford a bedroom/bathroom alternative?
  • Are you financially prepared for the costs of making the inside of your home more accessible, e.g. wider doors for wheelchairs or walkers; lowered counters to accommodate same; showers that can accommodate someone confined to a mobility aid?
  • Does the outside of your home allow for the addition of ramps and railings for easier access to the residence?
  • If one of you has cognitive decline and is prone to wandering outside of the house – what measures, if any, will assure this resident’s safety?
  • If you need care assistance during the day, are you comfortable having a health care provider in the home?  The costs and logistics of hiring and scheduling staff to come into your home can prove to be overwhelming and oftentimes more expensive than if a person moved into a residential community that readily offers the needed care.

How expensive is in-home care these days?  Caveat: I will not be addressing financing sources such as long-term care insurance, Medicare, Medicaid and the like.  My intent in these articles is simply to provide an overview of care options and potential costs.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services gives a 2009 run-down on costs for care options both in the home and in a long-term care residential setting.  I know that in Washington State, where I reside, the average Home Health Aide hourly rate is $22; the average monthly cost of an Assisted Living (AL) facility is $2870; and the average daily cost of a semi-private room in a nursing home is $225 which is approximately $6700/month.

Focusing on Home Health Aide/In-home care: based on the average hourly rate of $22, one could expect to pay close to $528 per day if based on an hourly rate.  Keep in mind, however, that most staffing agencies offer a monthly rate which will be less than the hourly rate.  But even with that “discounted” rate, in-home care can be very cost prohibitive.  A great many of us may not have access to that amount of cash and if the need extends out to several years – now it’s really adding up.

So why even think of remaining in one’s own home if it’s so %#^%($ expensive?

All of the above is not to suggest that Aging in Place is not doable.  Many people around the nation are successfully aging in place so why shouldn’t you have a crack at it?  Consider this alternative: some people start out Aging in Place and then transition into a long-term care housing situation when finances, or circumstances, warrant such a move.

The articles, Avoiding the pitfalls of selecting senior housing, and Selecting a senior housing community – easy for some, not for the rest of us, provide some tips for your selection process.

Some links of interest: Alzheimer’s Association Carefinder service; Leading Age; Federal Govt Senior Topics.

Greetings from Redmond, Washington!

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I’m a Baby Boomer – are you one too?

No doubt you have already faced some challenges in your 21st Century age grouping called: Baby Boomers.  I think you’ll agree, however, that along with those challenges we’ve also experienced delightful times that can only be experienced by us Boomers fortunate to have grown up in the 1960’s and 1970’s.

My hope in starting this blog is that you and I will be able to provide some sort of content that benefits our age group, but not our age group only.  Let’s face it, our children and/or our grandchildren need some sort of resource that adds to their understanding of what we’re going through.  They too will enter a Baby Boomer-Like age grouping when they reach our age so perhaps we’re doing them a favor by getting their feet wet in this wacky aging world in which we live.

Some of this blog’s content will be humorous; some of it will be inordinately sad.  My hope is that one way or another, we’ll all be better off because we’ve entered this “Baby Boomers and More” blog site.