Calm

Lighten up Mondays

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Lack of sleep is no laughing matter, says me who has recently entered the valley of insomnia and is trying to climb out. My daughter recently turned me on to a sleep/anti-anxiety app called Calm which I highly recommend. For pennies a day, it has thus far provided the respite I need to fall asleep at night. But knowing that even in the ickiest of times, we can find humor, today’s humor focuses on that ever-fleeting element of our lives: sleep.

  • I’m not always awake before 7 a.m. but when I am, it’s when I’ve yet to fall asleep.
  • I hate when I’m tired and sleepy and when I get to bed, my body says, “Just kidding.”
  • People who fall asleep quickly freak me out; I mean, don’t they have thoughts?
  • Me: let me sleep. Brain: LOL, no, let’s stay awake and remember every stupid decision you’ve ever made in your life. Me: Okay.
  • Dear 3 a.m., we have got to stop meeting this way; I’d much rather sleep with you.
  • When I can’t sleep I try counting sheep and then my ADHD kicks in: one sheep, two sheep, cow, pig, Old MacDonald had a farm, Hey Macarena!
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