Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on March 23, 2015 Updated on March 19, 2015

I’m a writer so I am always intrigued with word arrangements and different takes on relatively normal phrases.  Here are several paraprosdokians: figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is unexpected. Credit for this entry goes to Larry Brooks of www.storyfix.com

1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
3. In filling out an application, where it says, Emergency Contact I put ‘doctor.”
4. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
5. You do not need a parachute to skydive unless you want to do it again.
6. I used to be indecisive; now I’m not so sure.
7. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
8. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
9. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
10. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they’re sexy.