tax deadline

Lighten up Mondays

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Today is the official day for Americans – some Americans – to file their tax returns. Here are some tax facts over which to ruminate:

The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Bible is only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913 to 7 million words today.


The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times around the earth.


Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.


American taxpayers spend over $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.


The amount of effort needed to calculate and pay federal income for individuals and businesses in the United States is the equivalent of a staff of 3 million people working full-time for a year.


The IRS employs 114,000 people — twice as many as the CIA and five times more than the FBI.


60% of taxpayers must hire a professional to get through their own return.


Taxes eat up 38.2% of the average family’s income; that’s more than for food, clothing and shelter combined.

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Lighten up Mondays

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Happy sunshine faceIt’s the last Monday of March which means April is upon us, which means in the United States it’s income tax filing time.  Here are some one liners that might tickle your funny bone:

  • The U.S. Post Office just recalled their newest stamps; they had pictures of IRS agents on them and people couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.
  • If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?
  • America is the land of opportunity; everybody can become a taxpayer.
  • Children are deductible but they’re still taxing.
  • Nothing has done more to stimulate the writing of fiction than the itemized deduction section of the income-tax forms.
  • Filling out your own income tax return is something like a do-it-yourself mugging.
  • A man admitted he lied on his income-tax return – he listed himself as the head of the household.
  • The best things in life are still free, but the tax experts are working overtime on the problem.

Dont panicAnd here’s an original from me:

I hope this first full month of Spring doesn’t tax you too heavily.