A prominent Russian scientist conducted a very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump on giving her a verbal command (“Jump!”)
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
In the first stage of the experiment, he removed the flea’s leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: “Upon removing one leg, all flea organs function properly.”
So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the second leg, all flea organs function properly.”
Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: “Upon removing the next couple legs, all flea organs function properly.”
Then he removed the last leg, told the flea to jump, and nothing happened.
He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the command to jump, several times, and the legless flea never jumped. So he wrote his conclusion:
“Upon removing the last leg, the flea loses sense of hearing.”
It’s not the critic who counts; it’s not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles; or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The credit goes to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly and who errs and fails, and is sometimes victorious. But when he fails, at least he does so daring greatly.
The above is an abbreviated quote from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech, Citizenship in a Republic a/k/a The Man in the Arena, delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910.
Brené Brown, PhD, paraphrased the above when appearing on Oprah Winfrey’s show, Super Soul Sunday. I admit – I’m addicted to the types of shows that challenge the way I think, and/or that validate the way I think. This particular show that aired on OWN March 17, 2013, floored me. I needed it because I’m in the arena right now while in the midst of writing my first novel.
What if I don’t get representation by an agent?
What if I secure an agent, but the agency can’t sell it to a publisher?
What if my novel gets published, but it gets panned by book critics everywhere?
I guess if that happens I will need to be glad that I had the confidence to try; to dare to think that I could get published in the very competitive world of writing. The following is what Brené Brown said to herself – and perhaps to others – after she was severely criticized after delivering a speech at a conference a few years ago:
If you’re not in the arena getting your butt kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.
I like her spunk because with that statement she’s basically telling her critics to suck it if they don’t care for her work – because at least she put herself out there; she showed up; she tried. Ms. Brown says that there is no innovation and creativity without failure. We all must take the risk to fail when we’re doing something that we know without a shadow of a doubt we were meant to be doing.
How ridiculous of me to be so concerned about what might happen, when I’ve yet to even finish my manuscript. I believe in what I’m doing. I’m proud of my motivation/mission statement for writing my book. Oh my God – I’m writing a book! I don’t know if it will get published but that’s a concern for which I don’t have time right now. I am only half way through writing the manuscript so I guess I’ll just have to keep showing up at my computer and get the darn thing done!
What about you? What brings you to the arena in which you are now standing? Or what prevents you from entering the arena? In the very same second that you decide to enter the arena, it’s okay to be both brave and scared.
Maybe your arena is changing your career path; or getting into – or out of – a relationship. Perhaps your arena is standing up for what you believe in and daring to express those beliefs.
You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability. Don’t wallow in regrets – walk into the arena without fearing failure or success.
The third-grade teacher was shocked to find a number of foul words scrawled on the blackboard when she walked into the classroom.
“Children,” she said sternly, “you are much too young to use such vile language. Now, we’re all going to close our eyes and count to fifty, and while we’re counting, I want the little boy or girl who wrote those words to tiptoe up and erase them.”
At the signal, the teacher and her students closed their eyes and the teacher counted out loud, very slowly. When she reached fifty, she said, “All right class, everybody open their eyes.”
All eyes went to the blackboard.
None of the words had been erased, and below them was the message:
In January of this year, I provided a workshop for middle school students (8 to 12 years old) during their school’s annual Health Fair. Given my predisposition to focus on the older population during my career, I was asked to bring forth a topic that might resonate with, and educate, the children who attended my workshops; something about old people, a topic about which they supposedly knew very little.
The title of my workshop was Your Grandparents are Cooler than you Think. My goal was to bridge the gap that exists between those aged sixty years and older, with the younger-aged set. My sophisticated, yet relatable, PowerPoint presentation offered many comparison and contrast examples that tended to disprove that any gap exists between such disparate groups. (That was my goal.) One can’t deny that some obvious differences exist, but the similarities with subject matters that really count are quite revealing. First, I offer you a quote from the Atlantic Journal, challenging you to guess when this particular entry was published. I read this same quote to the middle school students.
The world is too big for us. Too much is going on. Too many crimes. Too much violence and excitement. Try as you will, you get behind in the race in spite of yourself. It’s a constant strain to keep peace … and still, you lose ground.
Science empties its discoveries on you so fast that you stagger beneath them in hopeless bewilderment. The political world now changes so rapidly, you’re out of breath trying to keep pace with who’s in and who’s out.
Everything is high pressure. Human nature can’t endure much more!
If you guessed that the above quote was ripped from today’s headlines – or thereabouts – you are incorrect. These vital words were written 180 years ago, published on June 16, 1833. The common sentiments of that time seem almost indistinguishable from what is in the minds of people today. Amazing. I guess we’re not much different from the people living in 1833.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
One of the topics these middle schoolers and I discussed was Bullying. The students were divided into eight groups of five each and asked to discuss the similarities, if any, of this globally prevalent problem. Their insights were astounding. Here is my paraphrase of some of their comments:
I think bullying in the olden days was more physical, whereas today, it’s psychological in nature.
Bullying a long time ago was limited to one-on-one interaction. Today, if just one person is bullied, that act is broadcast to thousands just by the push of an “enter” key on ones computer.
I think there is little difference between bullying now, versus then. You see, the motivation is the same; the intent to make someone else feel small; to exert ones power over another. It doesn’t matter what that looks like or when it took place, the motivation remains the same.
I was humbled by these students, but I should not have been surprised by their astute thinking processes. Perhaps the person who learned the most during my workshop was the presenter. I thought I needed to convince them of how similar their elders are to them. I guess the joke was on me.
The inspiration to write this article can be attributed to the driver behind me on my way home from the store today who bullied me by riding my bumper the entire way home. My going the speed limit must have been quite an affront to her sensibilities. (I couldn’t pull over to the side of the road but she had plenty of opportunities to pass me – evidently choosing not to do so.) At almost sixty years of age, I felt threatened, powerless, and humiliated.
Being a mind reader would greatly benefit every parent of a newborn baby, and all caregivers of those with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. The article attached above, by Blogger Kathy Ritchie, is a thoroughly relatable article that is raw in its presentation, but wreaking with truth because of that rawness.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Reading Kathy Ritchie’s article I was instantly reminded of a line from the television series, Up All Night, wherein new parents, played by Will Arnett and Christina Applegate, fail miserably in their efforts to get their infant daughter Amy to fall asleep and stay asleep. They try everything they can think of to address the baby’s distress: diaper changing, giving her a bottle, reading stories, making funny faces – you get the drill. In desperation, Will Arnett finally says to his infant daughter, “We’re on your side!”
When you can’t force understanding on someone you’re taking care of, you wing it or you pull every trick out of every “How To” book written on this task of caregiving. Yet more often than not, even with all the resources available at your fingertips, you make little headway in your attempts to meet the emergent needs your loved one presents to you. Or what works one day (or hour) may not work the next day. Why? Because Alzheimer’s and other dementias are very unpredictable diseases; and people with dementia are unique individuals, equally as unpredictable. There is no one formula for how to respond to any given situation.
As Kathy states in her article, “You have to work very hard to find the funny.” I think many of us, given the choice, would settle for finding all the right answers and do without finding the funny – but the funny incidents are a great addition to ones day.
Caregivers of the world – you are not alone and if you need someone to tell you what a great job you’re doing, I’m telling you right now – YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB!!!
Your journey is filled with speed bumps and ruts in the road, but you continue on that path anyway because of your commitment to your loved ones. After all, they had no choice in the matter when they ended up with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. You’re both innocent victims.
Sometimes we just need a bit of humor to get us through the week. Here’s one that my husband recently passed along to me:
My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.
He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.
He said with excitement, “you appear quite elderly to be driving.”
“Well, yes, I am,” she replied proudly. I’ll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don’t even need a driver’s license anymore.
You see, the last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver’s license. I told him yes and handed it to him. He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw them in the waste basket saying,
Without warning, a hurricane blew across the Caribbean. The luxurious yacht soon foundered in the huge waves and sank without a trace. Only two survivors, the boat’s owner and its steward, managed to swim to the closest island.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Observing that it was utterly uninhabited, the steward burst into tears, wringing his hands and moaning that they’d never be heard of again. Meanwhile, his companion leaned back against a palm tree and relaxed.
“Dr. Karpman, how can you be so calm?” moaned the distraught steward. “We’re going to die on this godforsaken island. They’re never going to find us.”
“Let me tell you something, Mitchell,” began Karpman with a smile. “Four years ago I gave five hundred thousand dollars to the United Way, and five hundred thousand dollars to the United Jewish Appeal. Three years ago I did very well in the stock market, so I contributed eight hundred and fifty thousand to each. Last year business was good, so both charities got a million dollars.”
“So?” screamed the wretched steward.
“It’s time for their annual fund drives,” the yachtsman pointed out, “I’m certain they’ll find me.”
One of my fellow Bloggers wrote a great article (above) to bring an explosively humorous end to my work week. Thank you for sharing your humiliation with the rest of us. Been there – done that myself – far too many times.
Speaking of which … my husband and I were in Home Depot last Sunday; me walking ahead of him as he pushed the shopping cart. A 30-something couple walked towards me, and then past me towards my husband, and oh my goodness … one of them must have not been able to hold in the flatulence one second longer. I wilted amongst the fumes – turned around to look at my husband and his face was twisted in a disgusted-looking, painful way, and he quickly slapped his hand over his nose. I said to him, “I know, right? Must have left a pile somewhere in this aisle!” then I continued walking onward only to discover that the fumes filled the length of that aisle. I started running in a vain attempt to escape the blanket of stinkyness, and soon thereafter, my husband could be seen running with his heavily loaded-down shopping cart making the same attempt at escape. (I know – we’re both quite juvenile.)
When we left the store, my husband was certain that someone must have been videotaping us and no doubt, we are now You Tube stars, gaining lots of followers around the world.
The retired couple sat at the table after their Sunday lunch when the wife looked over and said,
“Know what I feel like? An ice cream. Will you go get me one?”
“Okay, honey,” said the long-suffering husband, getting up.
“But not just any ice cream” she interrupted. “A sundae.”
“Okay, dear, a sundae it is.”
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
“But not just any sundae, a banana split. Should I write it down and put the note in your coat pocket?”
“No, dear,” said the husband, pulling on his coat. “You want a special sundae, a banana split.”
“Right, but not just any banana split. I want a scoop of chocolate on one side and a scoop of vanilla on the other. Sure you don’t want me to write it down?”
“I got it, I got it,” said the beleaguered husband, heading for the door.
“But that’s not all,” she shouted after him. ” I want it to be special. I want whipped cream and a cherry on top. Let me write it down for you.”
“No, no, no,” protested her husband. “You want a special ice cream sundae: a banana split with a scoop of vanilla here, a scoop of chocolate there, some whipped cream, and a cherry on top.”
“And don’t forget the chopped nuts.”
“Chopped nuts,” repeated the husband as the door closed after him.
Two hours later, the husband returned and put a greasy paper bag on the kitchen table. The wife walked over, looked inside, and saw four bagels. Looking up at him in intense irritation, she snapped, “I knew it – you forgot the cream cheese.”
Read the above article if you’re not convinced that traveling with a loved one who has dementia can be challenging. Or read it if you too have experienced this particular type of stress because you have already ventured into the travel hell that this Blogger describes. I make that statement with no disrespect intended. It doesn’t matter how much you love your co-traveler, it doesn’t matter how wonderful your destination – getting there is not without its mishaps and aggravations for both the caregiver, and the cognitively impaired traveler.
(Photo credit: caribb)
Then there is the other side of the coin: imagine that you are a person with mid-stage Alzheimer’s or other dementia who is not accustomed to staying put – you actually wander constantly when you’re on the ground – and you’ve been put on an airplane by yourself and you have no concept of what is taking place. You don’t have the capacity to understand that this metal tube in which you are sitting is a confined space and trying to “get home” is not an option. If you can’t imagine that scenario read the attached article, Alzheimer’s “exit-seeking” behavior at 35,000 feet, an article I wrote shortly after returning from Bar Harbor, Maine in October 2012.
It’s too easy to find the standard holidays that occur each month. Although I usually provide those run-of-the-mill highlights, I always provide the more obtuse events that one might choose to celebrate, such as these:
Weekly Observances:
March 1 – 7: National Write a Letter of Appreciation Week and Universal Human Beings Week; March 3 – 9: Celebrate Your Name Week; March 11 – 17: International Brain Awareness Week; March 17 – 23: Root Canal Awareness Week; March 18 – 23: American Chocolate Week; March 21 – 27: Week of Solidarity with People Struggling Against Racism & Discrimination Week; March 24-30: National Cleaning Week (ugh!).
A few Daily Observances:
March 1: National Horse Protection Day (this one’s for my two stepdaughters who love, and own, horses; and World Compliment Day (something for us humans.)
March 3: I want you to Be Happy Day (I really do!!!!)
March 4: March Forth and Do Something Day a/k/a Get off Your Butt Day.
March 8: Day for Women’s Rights & International Peace.
March 9: Get Over It Day; and Panic Day.
March 10: International Day of Awesomeness; and Daylight Savings Time Begins.
March 11: Fill Our Staplers Day – really????
March 13: Smart and Sexy Day.
March 18: Awkward Moments Day; Forgive Mom and Dad Day; and Well-Elderly or Wellderly Day.
March 20: Kick Butts Day; and Won’t You Be My Neighbor Day.
March 22: International Goof-Off Day.
March 26: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day (be creative!!!)
March 28: Weed Appreciation Day (I don’t think so)
March 30: Grass Is Always Browner on the Other Side of the Fence Day.
March 31: National “He’s/She’s Funny That Way” Day.
In my post, President Obama says the “A” word: Alzheimer’s, I provided some Alzheimer’s statistics that focus on those who are predicted to be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or other dementia in the years to come. I also talked about caregiver statistics.
One statistic that really resonates with me is the following: a new caregiver is set into action every 33 seconds because someone will develop Alzheimer’s every 33 seconds. In actuality, the stats are far greater than that. Caregivers are “created” every second of the day because there are countless diseases requiring the assistance of someone just like you and me – an unpaid caregiver for a loved one. I use the distinction of “unpaid” so as not to be confused with those who work as caregivers in the health care industry.
The following statement is attributed to former First Lady of the United States, Rosalynn Carter:
There are only four kinds of people in the world – those who have been caregivers,
those who are currently caregivers,
those who will be caregivers, and
those who will need caregivers.
I really don’t think there’s any way around it. How about you? Have you dodged the caregiver or being-cared-for bullet yet?
A certain sailor celebrating a long-awaited ship’s shore leave, got very inebriated. When he staggered back up the gangway, the captain sternly entered in the log: “Mate drunk tonight.”
When he saw the entry, the mate objected violently.
“Captain, the boat was moored – you know I’ve never been drunk on board before, never drunk on duty. If this stays on the record, I’ll never get work on another ship!”
Stone-hearted, the captain refused to modify his entry. “It is the truth, and it shall remain on the record.”
A few days later, the captain was checking over the log and came across an entry written by the mate: “Captain was sober today.” The outraged captain summoned the mate and accused him of creating a false impression.
“Anyone reading this entry will think my sobriety was unusual, that I’m usually drunk!” he bellowed.
“The statement is true,” the mate calmly asserted, “and it will remain in the log.”
Lest you think that Alzheimer’s has nothing to do with you, look at the following statistics provided by the Alzheimer’s Association:
By the year 2050, nearly one million new cases will be diagnosed each year – that’s one American developing Alzheimer’s every 33 seconds. Taken further, that most likely equates to nearly one and a half million new family caregivers each year – considering that at least one family member will be involved in managing a loved one’s care;
Ten million Baby Boomers will get Alzheimer’s;
On average, 40% of a person’s years with Alzheimer’s are spent in the most severe stage of the disease;
The number of Americans that die each year from Alzheimer’s disease has risen 66% since the year 2000;
Alzheimer’s is the sixth-leading cause of death in the United States;
Today, there are no Alzheimer’s survivors – none.
Please take time to read the article I’ve attached above and consider the following: We are going to pay for Alzheimer’s one way or the other – now, or later.
This is a disease that will affect you, your children, your grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and beyond. Burying our heads in the sand won’t solve anything. Please consider donating to the Alzheimer’s Association as well as contacting your state’s congressional leaders asking for greater federal funding for Alzheimer’s research. Why? Because of this staggering statistic:
According to the National Institute of Health, the federal government currently spends much less money on Alzheimer’s research, prevention, and cure than on other conditions such as cancer, heart disease, and HIV.
The above article recounts the personal feelings of a blogger who experienced his first Valentine’s Day without his wife who died on July 4, 2012. For those of us not experiencing such a loss, we may too readily try to point out that this “holiday” is just a Hallmark greeting card day, or florists and chocolate manufactures making lots of money day. It’s more than that – especially when so many memories are tied to the event. Whenever a “first time without” comes around on the calendar, the dread leading up to that date can be very troublesome, as it was for this blogger.
I recently watched a show in which interior designer, Nate Berkus, said the following about the things we have in our lives:
The truth is – that things matter. They have to because they’re what we live with and touch each and every day.
They represent what we’ve seen, who we’ve loved, and where we hope to go next.
They remind us of the good times and the rough patches and everything in between that’s made us who we are.
Events, celebrations, and the like provide the same type of life-shaping experiences. That’s why today is far more than a commercial and financial windfall for the greeting card, floral, and chocolate industries. Without someone with whom to celebrate the focus of this day, it becomes a non-day from which you can not escape. Thank God for the memories, the photos, even the many things around the house that represent the touch and essence of our Valentine.
The article above, written by blogger Richard Kenny, illustrates his ability to adapt to his mother’s dementia – especially when doing so involves carrying on a conversation with her. I love how Richard has figured out how to get around the frustrations that can exist when “normal” and meaningful conversations are few and far between – and nonsensical ones become the norm.
My dad and I thirteen years ago; and seven years before Alzheimer’s took him away from us.
Going with the flow is the rule of the day, the month, and the year, if you want to avoid stressing out when trying to converse with someone who is not able to enter your reality. The Alzheimer’s Association encourages this mantra: “If you don’t insist, they can’t resist.” Go with it – and you just might enjoy yourself!
Three sailors were stranded in a life raft with the captain after their ship had sunk in a typhoon. After going through the emergency rations, the captain gravely announced that there was only enough food for three people.
“One of you will have to swim for it, I’m afraid,” averting his eyes from the sharks circling the raft, “but to make it fair and square, I’m going to ask each of you a question. If you answer correctly, you stay; if you blow it, out you go.”
The three sailors nodded their agreement, and the captain turned to the first sailor.
“What was the boat that was sunk by an iceberg?”
“The Titanic,” answered the sailor with a sigh of relief.
“How many people were killed?”
“Three thousand, four hundred and seventy,” blurted the second, mopping the nervous sweat off his brow.”
“Correct,” noted the captain, then turned to the third sailor. “Name them.”
When was the last time you just soaked it all in? I’m not talking about soaking in the sun’s rays – hard to find in most places at this time of year anyway. And I’m not referring to settling your weary body down into a relaxing hot bath.
How about today, you decide to soak in all the good that is in your life?
But you say, “I have no time for that because the bad in my life far outweighs the good.” My response to that? Perhaps you need to even out the scales.
Right now, make a concerted effort to write down three things for which you can be grateful; things that encourage a smile on your face; things that make you forget – even for a second – all that weighs you down.
Now celebrate those three things by soaking in the feather light feeling they create. If that sensation is something you’d like to feel again, well – you’re in charge. Set aside time each day to allow the good to displace some of the bad.
If you celebrate even the smallest of good aspects of your life, you may discover that countless mini-parties await you. What have you got to lose?
A very brief blog entry from a fellow blogger. Some of you on your caregiving journey – or those who have recently ended that journey – will understand what is being said here.
There are these two nude statues, one of a man and the other of a woman, standing across from each other in a secluded park. A few hundred years after they’ve been put in place, an angel flutters down to them. A wave of his hand, and suddenly the statues come to life and the man and the woman step down from their pedestals.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The angel says, “I have been sent to grant the mutual request you both have made after hundreds of years of standing across from each other, unable to move. But be quick – you only have fifteen minutes until you must become statues again.”
The man looks at the woman. They both flush and giggle, and then run off into some underbrush. The sound of great rustling comes from the bushes, and seven minutes later, they come back to the angel, obviously satisfied.
The angel smiles at the couple. “That was only seven minutes – why not go back and do it again?”
The former statues look at each other for a minute, and then the woman says, “Why not? But let’s reverse it this time – you hold down the pigeon, and I’ll poop on it.”
In a recent NY Times post, Catherine Rampell writes about how the economy is affecting Baby Boomers; more specifically that it’s not just a matter of postponing retirement, it’s the need to hold down more than one job to meet the daily – and future – essentials of their lives. Ms. Rampell is quick to point out, however, “(I)n the current listless economy, every generation has a claim to have been most injured.” Certainly that seems to be the case as I have heard that Generation X and the Millennials have complained that Baby Boomers are to blame for the state of the economy – present and future.
Crowd gathering on Wall Street after the stock market crash of October 1929. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Of this I am certain – each generation before us, and every generation after us, will contribute positively and negatively to the world as we know it. I have to believe that every generation has pointed their fingers at generations other than theirs, and talked about the good, the bad, and the ugly that permeates their times. Let’s look at those generations as posted on CNN, American Generations Through the Years: (figures and personalities provided by the Pew Research Center and CNN)
G.I./Greatest Generation: Pre-1928; Kate Hepburn and George H. W. Bush
Silent Generation: 1925 – 1945; Martin Luther King, Jr. and Tina Turner
Baby Boomers: 1946 – 1964; Oprah Winfrey and Michael Jordan
Generation X: 1965-1980; Jay-Z and Tiger Woods
Millennials: Post 1980; Christina Aguilera and Mark Zuckerberg
We’re all struggling in some way, and we’ll continue to struggle as we mimic the overall consensus felt through all generations. There are carefree times, and then there are all the rest of our days, and we get through them, because we must. We’re better for it, but it doesn’t feel like that while we’re going through it. I have to look to Brendan Marrocco, a twenty-six year old Iraq war veteran who lost all his limbs because of a roadside bomb in 2009. In an Associated Press story, in the Seattle Times, Brendan said he could get by without his legs, but he didn’t like living without arms. “Not having arms takes so much away from you. Even your personality … You talk with your hands. You do everything with your hands, and when you don’t have that, you’re kind of lost for a while.”
The end of January 2013, six weeks after getting a double arm transplant, Brendan said the following at a coming-out press conference about how he’s made it thus far:
Just not to give up hope. You know, life always gets better, and you’re still alive. And be stubborn. There’s a lot of people who will say you can’t do something. Just be stubborn and do it anyway.
Sobering words, and ones that force us to reassess our current situations. I’m not trying to minimize what you might be going through, nor of what’s going on in my life. It’s just that I personally can’t help but focus on Brendan’s plight and then consciously turn my eyes away from my me-ness, and towards other-people-ness. Is Brendan worse off as a Millennial who lost so much but gained a huge dose of intestinal fortitude, defined as strength of character; perseverance? If it were me, I would be wallowing in a very deep pit of self-pity. That doesn’t seem to be Brendan’s current location.
I don’t know how the first month of 2013 treated you but it kind of kicked me in the butt! I need some humor going into February so the list of celebrations I provide this month will lean more towards the humorous and creative side. I hope you enjoy!
A few weekly observances: Feb. 3 – Feb. 9 – Dump Your Significant Jerk Week; Feb. 7 – Feb. 14 – Have a Heart for a Chained Dog Week; Feb. 13. – Feb. 19 – International Flirting Week.
A few month of February observances: Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month; Avocado and Banana Month; International Boost Self-Esteem Month; International Expect Success Month (makes sense!); National Chocolate Lover’s Month; Return Shopping Carts to Supermarket Month; Spunky Old Broads Month (now you’re talking!!!)
A few daily celebrations – cheers!
Feb. 5 World Nutella Day
Feb. 6 Lame Duck Day
Feb. 7 Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbor Day (as opposed to the one finger salute?)
Feb. 13 Madly in Love With Me Day
Feb. 16 Do a Grouch a Favor Day
Feb. 27 No Brainer Day – I can certainly support this one!!!
My wish for all of you is that you celebrate even the smallest of good happenings that come your way this month.
I think you’ll all agree that humor can be found in almost every situation in which we find ourselves. Even the distressing disease of dementia has its lighter moments. The article above, by fellow blogger Don Desonier, provides a moment he had with his wonderful wife Nancy. I think many of you will be able to visualize the scenario that this writer so adeptly describes.
Here’s a humorous story from my caregiving time with my father who died from Alzheimer’s complications in October 2007. On one of my visits to his assisted living facility in Oregon, he asked me to help him change his hearing aid batteries. So happy to have something to do that would benefit my father, I jumped at the opportunity to help him hear better – thereby greatly enhancing our conversational abilities.
Behind the ear aid (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
He pulled out his hearing aids and I pulled the dead batteries out and placed them on the coffee table. I turned my back for a couple seconds and upon refocusing my attention, I saw that my father had put a dozen other batteries on the coffee table – MIXED IN with the two that no longer worked. Had my father not put all the batteries in a pile I might have been able to readily discern the two recently removed batteries. As it was, it took us forty-five minutes to test the batteries and as luck would have it, the used-up batteries were the last two we tested.
At least I got a laugh out of it – after the initial frustration – and dad seemed to get a kick out of the fact that I was giggling about the process. And now more than five years later – I can still reflect on that experience with a smile on my face.
Harry was stunned to come home from work one evening and find his wife stuffing all her belongings into a suitcase.
“What on earth are you doing?” he cried.
“I can’t stand it anymore!” she shrieked. “Thirty-two years we’ve been married, and all we do is bicker and quarrel and ignore each other. I’m leaving!”
Stunned, Harry watched his wife close the suitcase, lug it down the stairs, and proceed to walk out of the house … out of his life.
Suddenly he was galvanized into action. Running into the bedroom and grabbing a second suitcase, he yelled back at his wife,
“Sylvia, you’re right, you’re absolutely right – and I can’t bear it either. Wait a minute, and I’ll go with you!”
The article above is from one of my favorite bloggers, Frangipani Singaporenicum. Her journey as a caregiver involves her mother. Her storytelling of what that involves is really quite genius.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
This article addresses the question as to whether or not the person with dementia is the same person they were prior to onset of disease; and if they are not …
then who are they?
Once you’ve read her article I believe you’ll have a clearer perception of what dementia takes away – and leaves behind – during the progression of the disease.
The article above by a fellow blogger who recently lost his wife due to complications of dementia, echos my sentiments about the need to invite others to join you on your caregiving journey. Walking the path alone is not only inadvisable, but in most instances, it’s impossible. With so many unknowns waiting around the corner, every caregiver needs to enlist the help of those who can effectively support him or her, and as a result, provide much needed assistance to the one being cared for.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I’m a firm believer of team support, as I stated in my article: Caregiving: The Ultimate Team Sport. Another article, Solo Caregiving, provides encouraging ways in which to recruit team members when there are no family members on which to rely.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish. Developing a team of caregiver-helpers goes a long way towards taking care of numero uno – YOU!
I’ve attached, above, a link to a fellow blogger’s site. The message is short and instructional.
What resonated with me about the statement provided in the link, is that each of us has experienced the after effects of walking in the midst of someone’s bad day and we inadvertently become the recipient of that bad day’s vibes. And sometimes the shoe is on the other foot. It’s unavoidable. I guess that’s why the words of wisdom provided in the link, are words that we all need to take to heart.
Living: the ultimate team sport 