Lighten up Mondays.
The retired couple sat at the table after their Sunday lunch when the wife looked over and said,
“Know what I feel like? An ice cream. Will you go get me one?”
“Okay, honey,” said the long-suffering husband, getting up.
“But not just any ice cream” she interrupted. “A sundae.”
“Okay, dear, a sundae it is.”
“But not just any sundae, a banana split. Should I write it down and put the note in your coat pocket?”
“No, dear,” said the husband, pulling on his coat. “You want a special sundae, a banana split.”
“Right, but not just any banana split. I want a scoop of chocolate on one side and a scoop of vanilla on the other. Sure you don’t want me to write it down?”
“I got it, I got it,” said the beleaguered husband, heading for the door.
“But that’s not all,” she shouted after him. ” I want it to be special. I want whipped cream and a cherry on top. Let me write it down for you.”
“No, no, no,” protested her husband. “You want a special ice cream sundae: a banana split with a scoop of vanilla here, a scoop of chocolate there, some whipped cream, and a cherry on top.”
“And don’t forget the chopped nuts.”
“Chopped nuts,” repeated the husband as the door closed after him.
Two hours later, the husband returned and put a greasy paper bag on the kitchen table. The wife walked over, looked inside, and saw four bagels. Looking up at him in intense irritation, she snapped, “I knew it – you forgot the cream cheese.”