Lighten Up Mondays

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Seal of the United States Internal Revenue Ser...
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the United States we are fast-approaching the income tax filing deadline of April 15th.  Here are a few jokes to get us through it – perhaps with a chuckle.

Somehow the IRS auditor knew it was my first audit.  “How could you tell?” I asked.

“For this kind of examination, you don’t have to undress,” she explained.

You know what they’re doing with our taxes?  They’re spending your money – hundreds of billions of dollars on defense.  To defend us from the Russians, the North Koreans, the Libyans, the Iranians.  When was the last time someone from any of those groups broke into your car?  I’m not worried about Russians, I’m worried about Americans!  You’re going to defend me, defend me from Americans!  Get my butt back from Burger King alive!

What gets me is the estimated tax return.  You have to guess how much money you’re going to make.  You have to fill it out, sign it, send it in.  I sent mine in last week.  I didn’t sign it.  If I have to guess how much money I’m gonna make, let them guess who sent it.

The income tax system has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

You’ve got to admire the IRS.  Any organization that makes that much money without advertising deserves respect.

I wouldn’t mind paying taxes if I knew they were going to a friendly country.

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