The attached article appeared in the September 27, 2013 edition of The Seattle Times newspaper, and provides the public with information about a traveling exhibit, developed by the American Anthropological Association that inspires us to consider not just what race is, but what it is not. By the way, I changed the title of my article after fellow blogger, www.letstalkaboutfamily.wordpress.com commented on my article – see below.
The central message of the exhibit is that what we call races are not separate genetic or biological groups, but distinctions created by people, oftentimes to mistreat or isolate those they regard as different from themselves…But those distinctions come from emotion and prejudice, not science.
The writer of the article, Jack Broom, states: “In the enlightened Pacific Northwest of 2013, it may be tempting to think of racism as a thing of the past, or something that happened elsewhere.”
I live in a suburb of the Seattle area and have no doubt that racist thoughts run rampant through my local society – oftentimes with a fervency that should shock the sensibilities of everyone. I know I was shocked when I recently experienced the following:
I’m out to lunch with a female friend who characterized “oriental” people as being very abrupt. I told her that I took offense to her statement for several reasons: 1) I was pretty sure the term ‘oriental’ was replaced by the word, ‘Asian’ a long time ago; 2) how can she so readily characterize billions of people using one word: abrupt; and more importantly, 3) my daughter (biological, born in Anchorage, Alaska, whose dad, my ex-husband, is Chinese, born and raised in Hawaii) is half Caucasian and half Chinese and if push came to shove, she might be characterized as looking Asian. My friend’s response: “Really? I thought Megan (not her real name) was American?” God help us all.
How does one respond to that? Well, I did, but I’d like to keep this article G-rated.
Second example: my husband and I are in the market for a new bed so I did some preliminary in-store research last week at a nearby store that specializes in mattress sets. I told the salesman that I was looking for a fairly firm mattress so he proceeded to point out various mattresses for me to lay on so I could test the different degrees of firmness.
The last mattress he showed me was very firm. When I laid down on it, I told him that we wouldn’t be comfortable on such a firm mattress. His response: “That’s the mattress the Asians buy. For some reason, all my Asian customers buy that firmness. Must be a cultural thing.”
Ugh – I walked out.
The writer summed up what visiting this installation at the Pacific Science Center might show us: “…the exercise helps make the point that dividing people into groups may tell more about the people doing the dividing than those being categorized.”
The attached video, just 3 minutes long, showcases how very personal Alzheimer’s and other dementia are to those involved. The toll on the patient – measurable, as you will see in this Shapiro family video.
The toll on the family – especially those caring for a member with the disease – beyond measure. Imagine taking care of someone who has lost his or her faculties, who can no longer express themselves verbally, and who has become a shell of his former self. Can you imagine it?
Imagine you must, because I sincerely believe that the only way people will stand up and take notice and do something about this disease, is to wear the mantle of a loved one with the disease, and/or the mantle of the beleaguered caregiver.
If you can help monetarily, please do so: www.alz.org.
If you can help within your community to relieve the stress of a caregiver with whom you are acquainted, that support is equally as needed and valuable.
Whatever you do, please do something to make a difference.
Here’s what appears to be a true story from an Australian court case:
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the man’s smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, the woman complained to the bus driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up to court. The judge asked the man, aged approximately 20 years old, what he had to say for himself, and the man replied,
“Well your Honor, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, ‘The Double Mint Twins are coming’, so I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, ‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and I could hardly contain myself.
But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, ‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident!’ I just lost it.”
That’s what happened to the woman who is the subject matter of the attached article by Danny Westneat of the Seattle Times newspaper.
1951: Marian Dahoney, a newly employed worker at an insurance company in downtown Seattle, opens her first and only bank account at the institution located within her company’s building. Name of the bank: Seattle First National Bank, later called Seafirst, a wholly owned subsidiary of Bank of America. These days, we all know the bank as megalithic Bank of America.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
2013: Now 85-years of age, with no steady income, other than her monthly social security check and a small retirement amount from her now-deceased husband’s employment at Rainier Brewing Company, Bank of America is penalizing her for not having very much money. The Advantage for Seniors account that she currently funds with her fixed income will be charged a maintenance fee of $25/month unless she keeps a balance of at least $5,000. Danny Westneat calls those fees hidden taxes on the poor.
Marian is of the generation that believes that customer loyalty and commitment means something. She could have jumped ship many years ago as other financial institutions provided incentives for new customers to walk the plank onto their boat, but she stayed with Bank of America for 62 years – feeling good about her commitment to one banking institution for her entire adult life.
Not anymore. Marian is being forced to pull her funds (she has less than $5,000 in the bank, otherwise she would not have received a letter notifying her that the bank would be charging her $25 per month in maintenance fees) and she is searching for a new banking institution that will show her some integrity by waiving minimum balance fees. Imagine the efforts required of this 85-year old woman to go through the process of abandoning ship. For you and I – it would be an inconvenience – for Marian, it’s a major effort.
Marian Dahoney thought that her 62-years of loyalty to Bank of America would have counted for something. Nope! It counts for nothing, because Bank of America is too busy nickle and dimeing those who are just trying to put a couple meals on the table each day in a house or apartment they hope not to lose, while paying monthly utility bills to maintain the house’s heat, electricity, and water.
Shame on you Bank of America – and any other financial institutions – for penalizing the poor for not having enough money to somehow keep your businesses afloat.
My father and my sister-in-law, both of whom have died from Alzheimer’s disease in the past five years.
According to the World Alzheimer’s report:
If dementia were a country, it would be the world’s 21st largest economy, ranking between Poland and Saudi Arabia. In the year 2010, the total world cost for caring for the dementia population was $604,000,000,000 (billion).
By 2050, in the United States alone, the costs for caring for the dementia population will be: $1,200,000,000,000 (trillion). That’s more than 1,000 x $1 billion.
Are you thinking of making any charitable contributions to a worthwhile organization before the end of the year?
and I’m as mad as hell about the millions of crimes that it has gotten away with.
Alzheimer’s and other dementias are unfair to the one diagnosed and to all those involved in that person’s life. The unfairness unfolds with the worst day of that person’s life – diagnosis of a disease for which there is no cure – therefore it is always fatal – and it is a disease where little progress has been made in treatment options.
Let me introduce you to two fabulous people who are no longer with us because this disease killed them. Yes, Alzheimer’s murdered them.
My hero – my father: 1918 – 2007
My father, Don, was born in 1918 in Toronto, Canada. He married my mother, Patricia, and they had three children. They became U.S. citizens in the late 1940’s/early 1950’s. My father was an extremely distinguished, courteous, humorous, and dedicated family man. He received his Alzheimer’s diagnosis on June 3rd, 2005 and I was there by telephone conference, having attended his initial neurological evaluation a couple weeks earlier. He died at approximately 12:10 a.m. on October 13th, 2007.
Nancy, an adoring daughter-in-law to my father, seated in front of her.
My sister-in-law, Nancy, was diagnosed with mixed dementia just a few months after my father died. Nancy was born in 1942 in Quincy, Massachusetts. She graduated from UCLA with a degree in flute performance and used those skills in many venues throughout her life. Nancy had three children from her first marriage – children of which she was very proud. Nancy was an extremely talented interior designer, opening her own design business in 1987 – the same year that she married my brother, Don. Nancy died from mixed dementia, that also included Alzheimer’s, at approximately 11:05 a.m. on July 4th, 2012. Just two and a half months later, my brother and sister-in-law would have celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.
Saturday, September 21st, 2013 is World Alzheimer’s Day. One in every three seniors dies with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. If you do not die from Alzheimer’s, you die with it. From Alzheimer’s Association 2013 Facts and Figures.
Won’t you consider making a monetary donation in the hopes of capturing this murderer?
U.S. website for the Alzheimer’s Association: www.alz.org
Other countries have their own dedicated websites as well. Please find those sites through any search engine you would normally use, and let’s slap the cuffs on this criminal disease.
“Mr. Desonier, I think you can stop scheduling an annual colonoscopy from this point forward. You’ve been very diligent about this aspect of your health care for many years, but at your age, I think this procedure provides inconvenience and discomfort that you can do without.”
My dad was 84-years old when his gastroenterologist made that declaration. I never thought I’d say this, but that gastroenterologist is my hero. My father had one suspicious colonoscopy a decade or so earlier, and was advised to undergo that test every year to be certain that no cancer was present. If you’ve ever undergone this test – and you should have a baseline one after the age of 50 or earlier if you’re symptomatic – you’ll understand when I say that I’d rather have a root canal than have my colon flushed and probed every year. Here’s TMI for you: I’m 60 and had my first exam of that sort seven years ago and passed with flying colors. I’m on the ten-year plan so I have a couple years left before I hop on that table again. But I digress.
The above article will shock you to your senses as to how incentivized doctors are to keep prescribing outlandish medical procedures on their elderly patients. Most, but not all, such procedures benefit medical professionals and facilities and provide no benefit to the patients that undergo such procedures. Here’s a quote from the above article that is sickening in its implications:
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Medicare spends a quarter of its $551 billion annual budget on medical treatment in the last year of life. A third of Medicare patients undergo surgery or an intensive-care-unit stay in their final year (of life.)
The author’s 80-year old father had a “stroke-blasted” body and underwent the surgical procedure of having a pacemaker installed to correct a slow heartbeat that gave him no health problems. Medicare paid $12,500 for that procedure. Her father’s family doctor didn’t approve of the cardiologist’s decision to perform that surgery. Medicare would have only paid that doctor $54 for a medical consultation with the family to weigh the pros and cons of such a procedure.
What’s the lesson here? There needs to be a greater focus on slow medicine in the form of palliative care, rather than fast medicine that dictates quick consults and immediate – and oftentimes drastic – medical intervention that robs the elderly patient of living on his own terms, and dying when its the body’s time to do so.
With a focus on education – here’s this week’s Monday humor, starting with a Q&A and then on to three jokes:
Question: What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Answer: I don’t know and I don’t care.
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, “Your first job will be to sweep out the store.”
“But I’m a college graduate,” the young man replied indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that,” said the store manager. “Here, give me the broom – I’ll show you how.”
My parents sent my brother through law school. He graduated. Now he’s suing them for wasting seven years of his life.
Which leads me to this last joke:
If law school is so hard to get through, how come there are so many lawyers?
The above public service announcement shines a spotlight on a disease that will affect you one way or another:
My father died of Alzheimer’s 10/13/2007. I’m on the left – it could happen to me; my brother is on the right, it could happen to him.
You may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis or I may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis
A loved one of yours may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and you’ll be his or her caregiver
A good friend of yours; a neighbor; a coworker may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis
The point is – just as all of us know someone who has had, or currently has, cancer – all of us have some sort of connection to someone who has Alzheimer’s or other dementia.
None of us is immune to this disease that steals a person while their heart is still beating.
When your children attained the age wherein having “The Talk” about sex and other scary things became unavoidable, you simply jumped in and winged it – wanting to explain as much to your kids as they needed to know but trying not to lend any encouragement towards participation in said scary things. Didn’t you feel better once you checked that “To Do” item off your child-rearing list? I know I did.
My father in mid-stage Alzheimer’s.
“The Other Talk” is that which you need to have with your adult-sized children, regardless of how uncomfortable you – or your children – are about topics such as: illness, death, and finances. Acccckkkkk!
My mother and my daughter, circa 1977.
Or perhaps it’s the other way around. The adult children are broaching these difficult topics with their parents in the hopes that said parents will do something about these unavoidable issues. Regardless of who is on the receiving end of these discussions, they should be considered mandatory in every family.
Consider this scenario: Dad is dying of cancer and in a coma. Your mother has already passed on, and you have no idea what your dad wants. His cancer is inoperable and he’s having more and more difficulty breathing and he hasn’t had any nourishment by mouth since he went into a coma. Does he want breathing assistance? Does he want intravenous liquids and nourishment? Does he want pain medication to help him through the extreme pain that cancer causes, even if the medication hastens his death?
What’s a son or daughter to do? Wing it?
Let’s look at another scenario: Mom is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and is unconscious more than she is conscious. There is no reversal possible of the debilitating effect this disease has had on her body: her doctor tells the family that their mother’s ability to swallow is greatly compromised, her breathing is becoming more and more labored, and she has shown no interest whatsoever in food or liquids. Her body is in the active stages of dying.
In this scenario, dad is still living and cognitively competent and he has told the family and your mother’s doctor that he wants every single measure possible to be employed to keep his bride of sixty-five years alive. You, however, have a copy of your mother’s living will/advanced health care directive – as does your father – which contains conflicting wishes to those of your father. Your mother wants no extraordinary measures employed – not a respirator, not a gastric feeding tube, no intravenous nourishment, nothing except for medication that will make her as comfortable as possible as she leaves this world. When your mother was fully aware and cognitively healthy, she had her wishes incorporated into a legal document, determined to take the responsibility of making such decisions out of her loved ones’ hands.
What’s a son or daughter to do? Follow mom’s wishes.
What a gift that is – carrying out your loved one’s wishes when she is no longer able to verbalize them. It would still be a gift if mom’s wishes were clearly spelled out that she wanted everything done to keep her alive as long as possible. The point is not what was decided that is important – it’s that the decision had already been made – a decision that remained in the hands of the patient/family member.
Both of my parents gifted me and my two siblings with documented specific wishes for their life and death. My mother unexpectedly died in her sleep on September 24th, 1994 at the age of 77 – something she had wished and hoped for her entire life – who doesn’t? My father died on October 13th, 2007 at the age of 89 from complications of Alzheimer’s and cancer. There was no guessing when it came to the time when us three adult kids rushed to his bedside. He was comfortable in his death, and we honored him by following his wishes for no intervention. Did I want my dad to die? God no. I wanted him to live forever; but none of us gets to do that, so I’m glad that my father was allowed to take his last breath and leave this world his way.
Humor on aging – this is for everyone out there, because the only way to avoid getting old is to not make it that far, or perhaps:
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
There’s one advantage to being 102 years old – there’s no peer pressure.
Andrew was a dutiful son who accompanied his dad to his regular checkups with the urologist.
“And how’s your urine flow, Mr. Gunderson?” asked the doctor when they were seated in his office.
“Fine, just fine, Doctor, and God helps,” quavered Gunderson cheerfully. “He turns the light on when I start, turns it off when I stop, and I don’t have to do a thing.”
“Oh, no,” groaned the son, as the puzzled urologist looked over at him. “Dad’s peeing in the refrigerator again.”
Red Pontiac Firebird (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Just as the elderly woman was turning her Mercedes into a parking space at the mall, she was edged out by a red Firebird. “You’ve got to be young and fast,” jeered the teenaged driver as he jumped out from behind the wheel.
The woman reversed, revved her engine, and rammed the Firebird. As the Mercedes reversed and headed for the Firebird again, the teenager turned and gaped, then ran over and banged on the older woman’s window. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he screeched.
She smiled sweetly and explained, “You’ve got to be old and rich.”
A fellow blogger whom I greatly respect, wrote the above article that tells a story of aging, loneliness, intuition, and follow through.
There is a holiday celebrated on September 28th called National Good Neighbor Day. In the above linked story, a good neighbor noticed that she hadn’t seen one of her neighbors in awhile, so she acted on her concern. The story that unfolds could be a made-for-TV drama! Concern drew her to investigate and her gut wouldn’t let her turn away.
I think all of us need to trust our gut more frequently, which I learned for myself back in July. I’ve attached an article I wrote on that experience called – coincidentally – Trust Your Gut.
No one is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent. – John Donne
Back to school for lots of the younger set out there, so the older set might have a wee bit of time to catch up on their reading – starting with this month’s celebrations – some wacky, some serious.
Monthly celebrations: Classical Music Month, Hispanic Heritage Month, National Courtesy Month, and Self-Improvement Month
Daily – some of which I’ve skipped:
Emma Nutt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
September 1: Emma M. Nutt Day – the first woman telephone operator
September 2: Labor Day, of course, but also National Beheading Day (don’t lose your head over this one)
September 4: Newspaper Carrier Day (I hope these people never lose their job because that would mean that the paper newspaper has become a thing of the past)
September 5: Be Late for Something Day – but not your own wedding!
September 6: Read a Book Day ; also Fight Procrastination Day
September 8:Grandparent’s Day – be sure to click on the link I’ve attached to see how Australia honors grandparents!
September 10: Swap Ideas Day
September 11: 911 Remembrance Day; also No News is Good News Day (which seems appropriate considering)
September 13: Blame Someone Else Day (it wasn’t me!)
September 16: Step Family Day (yippee!); also Mexican Independence Day
September 19: International Talk Like a Pirate Day
September 21: International Peace Day – best day of the month, and timely to say the least
September 27: Native American Day
September 28: National Good Neighbor Day – establish your own friendly neighborhood watch; simply watch out for one another
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
Luck doesn’t bring success, neither does lack of preparation. Here’s a personal account that hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. This example is about exercise, but this article is not.
I started a new exercise regime in May called The Bar Method. Each one hour session “integrates the fat burning format of interval training, the muscle shaping technique of isometrics, the elongating principles of dance conditioning, and the science of physical therapy.” Let me just tell you that after the very first session, I realized how out of shape I was – evidenced a day later by my inability to get out of a seated position without using both hands braced on the seat for leverage, combined with much grunting, groaning, and “Oh my Gods!”
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Fast forward several weeks and I became a devotee who takes Bar classes twice a week at the studio, and four times a week I do interim supportive training in my mini home gym using a recumbent bike, weights (only 2 lb and 4 lb) and lots of push ups and planks. I quickly realized that if I do my part at home, I benefit even more from the Bar classes. Woohoo!
This past Thursday, I went to class having had a miserable night’s sleep the night before: couldn’t fall asleep, couldn’t stay asleep – you get the drill. Although I made it through the one hour class, I struggled greatly throughout and failed to receive all of the benefits. Without adequate sleep, my body was not armed with the stamina it needed to get the job done. You’d think that one lousy night’s sleep would not jeopardize the success of my workout the next day. Evidently that one factor nullified all the other preparations I had made in the days leading up to the class.
Alright, no more talk of exercise.
The point I want to make is that if you go into a task without all the needed preparation, you’re not prepared at all. It’s as simple as that.
What good is completing three of four steps of a presentation for a meeting, if all three rely on the fourth step that you didn’t complete? What a bloody waste of your time and that of everyone else at the meeting.
What kind of roof will a roofer be able to lay if he or she brings all the tools and most of the roofing materials, but no nails? “But I have everything else I need, don’t I get credit for that?” Nope!
Follow Abe Lincoln’s way of preparing for a task: you won’t chop down any trees with a dull axe.
I love this poster found in the above attachment that compares today’s social networking with yesterday’s; quite a few yesterdays.
My earlier social networking profile photo.
Remember when you were younger and you spent so much time playing outside with your friends that your parent would say, “Dinner is at 5 pm. Be home by then, please.” That’s how it was in our household when we were kids. My sister and I said goodbye to mom and dad in the morning, played all day with our friends, and didn’t return until the appointed dinner hour.
I know I’m showing my age, but I don’t care. I’m glad the Internet was “created” but I wish social networking was more social.
Those of you in business of any type whether medical, construction, retail, food or travel industry, or any of the thousands of business types out there:
What are you doing to retain your customers?
The following incident occurred more than two years ago and serves as a good illustration of failed customer retention.
I moved to a suburb of Seattle in 1997 and became a client/patient of a local chiropractor. This Doctor of Chiropractic knew all there was to know about me structurally because she treated me for fourteen years. One of the issues of which she was keenly aware was my cervical spine (neck) discomfort. After much deliberation and procrastination, I finally decided to have it surgically treated. I had discussed my treatment options with my chiropractor at length throughout my time as her patient and she concurred that I might very well benefit from the C5/C6 disc replacement and fusion.
Xray of cervical spine – not mine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
One week before my surgery I attended my chiropractic appointment and upon my departure that day I was wished well with the goal of returning for treatment once my neck fusion was completely healed.
Fast forward one year. During that year of healing I did not receive a phone call, nor did I receive a card; I received nothing resembling any indication that they valued my previous fourteen years of patronage. So I did something about it.
I wrote a very kind but professional letter expressing my disappointment in the management of this chiropractic office – a business that consists of one chiropractor and four staff members. I told her that I was offended at having been ignored. Here’s an excerpt from my letter:
I am offended by an apparent disregard for a patient’s longtime loyalty and patronage of your practice. In my mind, I felt that a provider of chiropractic care, which is so much more person-focused than traditional medical care, would value the patient/doctor relationship and reach out to this patient given the length of her patronage. That was not the case, so I have chosen not to resume treatment under your care.
You can be certain that I received a call within days of sending that letter, a call that went to voicemail while I was away from the house. The doctor fell all over herself gushing and oozing with regret while at the same time explaining her reason for doing nothing: “I wanted to protect your privacy.”
Come again? Does that mean you were disrespecting my privacy each time your office called to remind me of the 100’s of appointments I attended for fourteen years? No. You wanted to be certain I would show up. And how does sending a card to my home disrespect my privacy? It doesn’t. The excuse was weak and I stuck to my guns. Businesses need to realize that the least expensive and best marketing strategy involves word of mouth advertising. On the flip side, the least expensive and worst marketing strategy involves word of mouth advertising.
How much money have you lost because you ignored your customers?
Monica Guzman, Seattle Times writer and blogger, is going off the technical grid for a week – thus the article attached above wherein she analyzes our habits and impulses when it comes to us feeling the need to be instantaneously on top of matters. She’s not disconnecting from all technologies – she intends to watch television and might use a real camera – but she’s staying away from “the ones that know me.”
Ah, respite – what a delightful concept. Lots of us Baby Boomers equate respite to receiving some sort of relief from our caregiving tasks. For example, we might be taking care of a parent, sibling, partner, or spouse and we look for every opportunity for a reprieve from our caregiving chores – or at least weshould be. Please see my article Caregiver: put on your oxygen mask first.
Cordless Phone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Respite, however, also relates to resisting the compulsion to send someone a Happy Birthday greeting by sending an e-mail, or going to the honoree’s Facebook page, or sending a Tweet on the person’s Twitter feed – and instead, deciding to call that person for a conversation that lasts longer than it takes to type a 140 character greeting. OMG, MIK? (Oh my god, am I kidding?)
No – I’m serious. I could make it harder on you – and myself – by suggesting that we send a birthday card that would require us to purchase, write, post, and drop the card through the slot of a postal box. I think that would be a great idea, mind you, but that’s not what I’m proposing.
Rejoice in the fact that Facebook reminded you of that person’s birthday. (I know that you received sufficient notice not to miss that person’s birthday because truth be told – that’s how I remember many of my acquaintances’ birthdays each year.) But please resist the urge to send an instantaneous electronic greeting. Think of yourself – I know you can – and think of what it feels like to receive fun mail, such as a birthday card, or simply a “there’s no reason for this card” card. You liked that feeling – didn’t you? Now I want you to also think about how it feels when someone calls you to personally wish you happiness – just you and the person that called you. That’s a one-on-one attention connection.
Drop a note, make a call, but leave the 140 characters for some other important message, like:
I had a glazed doughnut and a cup of coffee for breakfast then washed my hair and can’t do a thing with it! Isn’t that just the worst thing ever?
Go ahead and count – there’s 140 characters there.
I can always rely on fellow blogger, Frizztext, to post delightful guitar tunes with a variety of fingering and strumming techniques. Rather than post a Thursday in the News article today – my normal Thursday gig – I’ve chosen to post this blogger’s article that contains delightful sound interludes that you no doubt need to hear because your day is boring, frustrating, tiring, and can’t end soon enough so you can do some fun things, so …
I’m posting this blog piece because it beautifully illustrates the ugliness of bullying practices that occur everywhere.
My opinion on bullies: whether they look like nerds, terrorists, or invisible men and women on the Internet – is that they are very insecure people. They are so insecure that they have to beat others down so that they can appear to be better and bigger than those they victimize.
(This is a resubmission of the article I wrote yesterday. I changed the title.)
In his book Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success author and NBA former coach, Phil Jackson, emphasizes the need for players to have a team mentality instead of a me-mentality. He took on the challenging task of asking Michael Jordan to reduce the number of successful shots he made in a game. Keep in mind, Michael Jordan was averaging 32.5 points per game at that point, almost single handedly winning games. The coach wanted other members of the team to get more involved in the offense, resulting in a team win – not just a MJ win. Phil Jackson’s explanation to Michael: “You’ve got to share the spotlight with your teammates, because if you don’t, they won’t grow.”
Chicago Bulls Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson 1997 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
At first Michael expressed his lack of confidence in some of his players and his hesitancy to let them have the ball. Phil Jackson responded, “The important thing is to let everybody touch the ball, so they won’t feel like spectators. It’s got to be a team effort.” It wasn’t an easy sell – to be sure – but Michael Jordan went with his coach’s plan. That seems to have worked for him.
Now switch to a different sport and a different player: Alex Rodriguez, or A-Rod as he is now called – unless you live in Seattle where their former Mariner shortstop is called “Pay-Rod” because of his greed when leaving the Mariners for the Texas Rangers.
David Brooks, syndicated columnist for the Seattle Times, wrote an exceptional opinion piece: A-Rod: the perils of self-preoccupation. This columnist knows how to clearly paint a personality picture – or should I say, personality disorder? “One of the mysteries around Rodriguez is why the most talented baseball player on the planet would risk his career to allegedly take performance-enhancing drugs?” A-Rod’s self-preoccupation prevented him from successfully managing his own talent. The columnist’s theory about those who are self-preoccupied is explained like this: “Locked in a cycle of insecurity and attempted self-validation, their talents are never enough, and they end up devouring what they have been given.”
Where does that leave the little league baseball player in his or her quest to mimic the bigger-than-life champions (pun-intended) such as Alex Rodriguez? Emulating A-Rod, or McGwire, or Sosa – or any other player who allegedly cheated to improve his stats – sends the truly talented youth down the wrong path.
Where does that leave you and me? Each time we take a chance, put ourselves out there and dare to make something of ourselves, we run the risk of failure. As A-Rod’s former NY Yankee manager, Joe Torre, once wrote, “There’s a certain free-fall you have to go through when you commit yourself without a guarantee that it’s always going to be good…Allow yourself to be embarrassed. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.”
As a “trying to become a novelist” novice, I’m definitely in a free-fall. There’s no guarantee that the seven months of writing my novel (so far) will be picked up by an agent or publisher. It’s highly likely that the 103,000 words I’ve written (so far) will be criticized so horrifically, that no publishing professional will want to be associated with me.
But I’m doing what I love; I’m doing what I know I’m supposed to be doing; so I’m in that free-fall and praying for a soft landing. I could try to cheat my way to publication – but copying someone else’s work (other than quoting and crediting them) and characterizing it as my own is a steroid that I’m not interested in taking.
I want to be proud of what I’ve accomplished – not ashamed – and I want others to benefit from the honest work that I do.
A senior manager at Microsoft in Redmond was working late – not unusual I guess – but what was unusual was what transpired during his overtime.
He approached a 32-year old woman on the building’s cleaning crew and asked her to follow him to his office. This dedicated cleaning employee thought perhaps something needed to be cleaned in his office so she dragged her cleaning cart with her. Nope! He threw her to the ground and raped her; and as she lay on the ground in pain and shame, he walked out of the building to throw away the condom he used during the rape – gotta hide that evidence!
The first cleaning company manager she complained to following the rape (it’s 1 a.m. by this time) dismissed her allegations. I guess he didn’t want to miss any of his beauty sleep. The second manager with whom she spoke the next evening – a woman – did not, and she called 911.
The senior manager was fired by Microsoft, was arrested and had to surrender his passport. When he was arrested, the perp said that the cleaning woman forced him to have sex and that he was afraid of her but he left his office to go to his car to retrieve a condom because he felt he had no choice but to let her force him to have sex. (Gee – if he was so afraid, why didn’t he just get in his car and leave?) He said he should have been stronger but he was missing his wife who had been in India for the past few weeks.
It’s definitely not moose hunting season so I can’t come up with any reasonable explanation that even makes the smallest bit of sense in this recent moose abuse news article.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Seattle Mariners baseball team mascot, the Mariner Moose, was on-site at a Seattle area Boeing plant on “public safety day” when one of the Boeing employees reared back his fist and punched the moose in the snout. Mind you, the snout is quite padded and is certainly more than adequate at protecting the person behind the mascot moosona (not persona, moosona) but what brought on this moose abuse?
If the former NY Yankees’ mascot (1979 – 1981) Dandy, were still around, no explanation would be needed if someone had punched the Dandy. Seattle fans don’t like the Yankees, and I’m sure the feelings are mutual. But what did the Mariner Moose do in its illustrious mascot career to deserve such an assault? Everyone is treating this incident as humorous – everyone except the Boeing Company. A disciplinary action has been initiated to look into this employee’s amoosing behavior.
If you’ve not seen one of my celebration posts yet, please note that so many of the “celebrations” I post are made up by some entity on the Internet. I like the fact that any person at any time can feel free to be creative and post “official” monthly celebrations. Speaking of which:
Monthly: Admit You’re Happy Month; Water Quality Month
Weekly: 1st week: National simplify your life week; 2nd week: National Smile Week :-); 3rd week: Friendship Week; 4th week: Be kind to humankind week
August 1: National Raspberry Cream Pie Day
August 4: Friendship Day; International Forgiveness Day (makes sense to me!)
August 6: Wiggle your toes Day
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
August 8: Sneak some zucchini onto your neighbor’s porch Day (obviously a bumper crop this year)
August 9: Book lovers Day (love it!)
August 13: Left hander’s Day
August 16: National tell a joke Day; (did you hear the one about … )
August 21: Senior Citizen’s Day (hip hip hooray!)
August 25: Kiss and make up Day
August 26: Women’s equality Day (Amen!!!)
August 27: Global forgiveness Day
August 30: Toasted marshmallow Day (get the graham crackers and chocolate bars ready!)
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
August 31: National trail mix Day (the snack that tries to be healthy but tastes too darn good to actually be healthy)
A guy goes to see his grandmother and takes one of his friends with him. While he’s talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts that are on the coffee table, and finishes them off.
As they’re leaving, the friend says, “Thanks for the peanuts!”
The grandmother says, “You’re welcome young man. Since I lost my dentures, I can only suck the chocolate off ’em.”
Here’s some fabulous news to report from a town called North Bend, Washington that’s located not far from where I live:
An inclusive camp for burn victims called Eyabsut (which means: to rise above anything), is a camp where “everybody is different here and every body is the same” says Camp Director, Jeanette “JD” Day, also a burn victim.
At this camp, no one stares at them because of the way they look; the children and adolescents feel normal; for one week a year they feel as though they fit in.
The camp is sponsored by the Washington State Council of Firefighters Burn Foundation. You can also find links to this foundation through your Facebook account. Camp Eyabsut almost died last year but a last-ditch fund raising effort kept it going and it’s now in its 26th year.
What an exceptional effort for some pretty exceptional human beings.
Living: the ultimate team sport 