Lighten up Mondays

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Humor on aging – this is for everyone out there, because the only way to avoid getting old is to not make it that far, or perhaps:

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.

There’s one advantage to being 102 years old – there’s no peer pressure.

Andrew was a dutiful son who accompanied his dad to his regular checkups with the urologist.

“And how’s your urine flow, Mr. Gunderson?” asked the doctor when they were seated in his office.

“Fine, just fine, Doctor, and God helps,” quavered Gunderson cheerfully.  “He turns the light on when I start, turns it off when I stop, and I don’t have to do a thing.”

“Oh, no,” groaned the son, as the puzzled urologist looked over at him.  “Dad’s peeing in the refrigerator again.”

English: Red Pontiac Firebird parked on Gregso...
Red Pontiac Firebird (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Just as the elderly woman was turning her Mercedes into a parking space at the mall, she was edged out by a red Firebird.  “You’ve got to be young and fast,” jeered the teenaged driver as he jumped out from behind the wheel.

The woman reversed, revved her engine, and rammed the Firebird.  As the Mercedes reversed and headed for the Firebird again, the teenager turned and gaped, then ran over and banged on the older woman’s window.  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he screeched.

She smiled sweetly and explained, “You’ve got to be old and rich.”

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