Lighten up Mondays
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store’s opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man’s second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line…
“That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won’t open the store!”
*****
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I notice a remote control for a television set in her purse.
“Do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.
“No,” she replied. “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the evilest thing I could do to him.”
*****
And one last Monday funny.
Kindness Fridays
I’ll try to be brief with this week’s kindness. I have had a medical condition for the past three years that no doctor has diagnosed correctly. In September I went to a naturopath and based on my symptoms, she suggested a different type of doctor who specializes in what I most likely have.
My husband and I drove into Seattle to see this doctor on Wednesday of this week and within twenty minutes’ time, he easily made sense of what I’ve been experiencing, a condition that has caused my husband and I to cancel two vacations because of its acute nature. He clearly explained what was going on, was able to diagnose it and suggested treatments that will more likely than not improve my quality of life greatly. After one day of those new treatments, my body is adjusting and trying to function in a different way, and because it’s trying to do that, I didn’t sleep at all last night. I will aim not to be discouraged, however, knowing that once my body adjusts to this new treatment plan, I’ll be able to celebrate the start of a new quality of life.
Finally, a doctor who spent sufficient time with my husband and me who was able to apply his expertise to our situation, and provide hope and promise that I have not been able to enjoy for close to three years.
This week’s kindness celebrates this Seattle doctor with whom we met on Wednesday. This week’s kindness also celebrates the naturopath who got me on the right “path” to wellness without receiving financial benefit. She refused my insurance copay when I saw her back in September, not feeling it appropriate that she accept payment since she didn’t provide any measurable medical service to me.
That’s where she was wrong; her referral was one of the most effective treatments I have received for my condition up until this point.
Goodreads Giveaway: REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO
Those of you familiar with Goodreads know that authors give away tons of books on that site all year round. I figured, I’m an author, and I’m pretty generous, so I think I’ll give away some paperback books as well!
Go to Goodreads (you’ll have to be a registered user to participate) and enter my 6-book giveaway that starts today, December 1st, and runs through December 8th. It’s easy to register on Goodreads, you don’t even have to create a new user persona; you can register using your Facebook, Twitter, Google, or Amazon log-in information.
Once you’re a registered user, follow these steps:
- go to the Browse drop-down menu
- click on Giveaways
- towards right-hand side, click on Recently Listed
- filter by Print Giveaways – as opposed to Kindle Giveaways or All Giveaways
- and search for my novel, Requiem for the status quo.
Be certain to read the description of the giveaway that I’ve created. I want you to be clear on what it is I’m offering for free.
Goodreads does all the work in acquiring names and shipping information, they’ll notify me of the six randomly selected Giveaway winners, then I’ll send out a copy of my novel to six lucky winners within a week’s time.
You’ve got nothing to lose…what are you waiting for?
Lighten up Mondays
Can’t not joke about food during the Holiday season.
- To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
- Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M’s because let’s be honest here.
- I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
- Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… But smoking bacon will cure it.
- Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
- I eat my tacos over a Tortilla. That way when stuff falls out, BOOM, another taco.
- Up until I bought this bag of chips I thought the air was free.
- So far eating hasn’t filled the emptiness I feel inside, but I’m no quitter.
Kindness Fridays
Chivalry isn’t dead, nor is good ol’ everyday courteousness.
We had a full day this past Tuesday, the highlight of which was taking care of our grandson. In the afternoon, a new refrigerator/freezer was scheduled to be delivered but we received a call that it would be delivered a bit late…right around our dinner hour.
I decided we wouldn’t want to cook that evening because we’d be waiting for the delivery (happened just after 4:30 pm as it turns out) and we’d be getting it filled with all the food we had placed into numerous coolers earlier in the day with solid ice blocks to maintain the foods’ integrity.
While our grandson napped I slipped out of the house to pick up a pizza at the Take and Bake pizza place nearby, leaving Lucas in the very capable hands of his grandpa. I don’t yet feel comfortable walking and carrying our grandson so Jerry needed to be the one who remained at the house so he could pick Lucas up out of the crib if he woke up before my return.
I snagged a parking space right in front of the shop so I didn’t have to get out my disabled parking pass. I hobbled into the pizza place, paid the employee for our pie, and tried to juggle my purse, my cane, and the pizza all at the same time, failing miserably in my attempts to do so. The young man quickly got out from behind the counter and said, “I’ll take the pizza to your car for you.” What a relief, and what a kindness. He didn’t know my car was so close by; it could have been anywhere in the two-days-before-Thanksgiving crowded supermarket parking lot.
And that’s this week’s kindness story.
Lighten up Mondays
The first event of the 2017 Holiday season, Thanksgiving Day, is just hours away. Time to get into the mood, y’all.
*****
Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling off?
The buckle was on his hat!
*****
When I trace a turkey, it comes out looking exactly like my hand.
*****
Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. “What denomination?” asks the postal clerk.
Mary thinks a second before replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”
*****
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
*****
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.
Rewarding Alzheimer’s family caregivers
Your time is running out to acquire highly-discounted books from the AlzAuthors treasure-trove of eBook titles. Tuesday the 21st will be your last opportunity to do so. Whether for yourself or gifts, you just can’t beat the prices being offered: Free to $2.99 at the most!!!
November is National Caregiver Appreciation Month, a time to recognize the long hours, sacrifice, and love all caregivers bring to the task of caring for a loved one with dementia or any long-term illness. In honor of their efforts, AlzAuthors is hosting an eBook sale and giveaway! This is a terrific way for caregivers who are looking for knowledge, guidance, and support to find carefully vetted books to help guide and inspire them every day.care
Consider this information from the Alzheimer’s Association:
- In 2016, 15.9 million family and friends provided 18.2 billion hours of unpaid assistance to those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias, a contribution to the nation valued at $230.1 billion.
- Approximately two-thirds of caregivers are women, and 34 percent are age 65 or older.
- 41 percent of caregivers have a household income of $50,000 or less.
- Approximately one-quarter of dementia caregivers are “sandwich generation” caregivers — meaning that…
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Rewarding Alzheimer’s family caregivers
November is National Caregiver Appreciation Month, a time to recognize the long hours, sacrifice, and love all caregivers bring to the task of caring for a loved one with dementia or any long-term illness. In honor of their efforts, AlzAuthors is hosting an eBook sale and giveaway! This is a terrific way for caregivers who are looking for knowledge, guidance, and support to find carefully vetted books to help guide and inspire them every day.care
Consider this information from the Alzheimer’s Association:
- In 2016, 15.9 million family and friends provided 18.2 billion hours of unpaid assistance to those with Alzheimer’s and other dementias, a contribution to the nation valued at $230.1 billion.
- Approximately two-thirds of caregivers are women, and 34 percent are age 65 or older.
- 41 percent of caregivers have a household income of $50,000 or less.
- Approximately one-quarter of dementia caregivers are “sandwich generation” caregivers — meaning that they care not only for an aging parent, but also for children under age 18.
Starting today through November 21st, you can take advantage of this excellent opportunity to check out some of our books at reduced prices, ranging from free to $2.99. We offer a variety of genres, including fiction, memoir, non-fiction, and children’s literature. Many of our books are also available in paperback and audio, so be sure to check them out too. As a matter of fact, my novel is available on Kindle for just $2.99 through November 21st and if you prefer a paperback copy, my publisher is offering it at half price on my publisher’s site. Check it outhere!
One day at a time
Living one day at a time is a good philosophy to uphold regardless of what’s going on in one’s life. I would extend that sentiment to say, “Live each day one moment at a time.” It’s good to plan, set goals, even write a bucket list, but doing so addresses the future, not the present.
When I was admitted to a local hospital for hip replacement surgery, I knew that would be one step toward many that I would accomplish to attain complete recovery. I had no idea what accomplishments I would be able to celebrate or in what order they would appear, I simply knew I would eventually be able to move beyond my physical restrictions.
I was right.
Walker. Yep, I held onto this piece of durable medical equipment (DME) like it was my lifeline…because it was. I learned how to use it while still in the hospital and once I got home I outfitted my own walker with a multi-pocketed pouch wherein I stored necessary items: water bottle, iPhone, iPad, tissues, snacks, so that wherever I landed, I was set. Two weeks post surgery I was able to retire the walker. What a lovely step in the right direction.
Cane. Using my Hurrycane is liberating – I say is, not was, because it’s still attached to my person as a means of transportation. Today, November 6th, marks one month since my surgery and I am still nowhere near ready to retire this piece of equipment because I still need the support it provides. I’ve even learned how to use it as a pick-up-something-I-dropped-aid, as long as the dropped item is thicker than a piece of paper or bigger than the Vitamin D3 capsules I take every day but sometimes end up on the floor. I drop things often enough that my husband simply follows my trail of items to discern where I’ve been lately.
Raised toilet seat. I know, there’s a visual all of you would prefer not to have, but early on in my recovery, it was a requirement that meant the difference between responding successfully to my most base urges, or…not, and that visual would have been far worse to contemplate. Fortunately, it served me well and I retired it three weeks post-surgery.
Medications. Okay, this is a tricky one. I abhor having to take medications, whether over-the-counter or prescribed, but when your leg is sliced into, requiring major manipulations by the surgeon and his jolly helpers – not to mention sawing off sections of a bone that I would no longer need – a person is going to have lingering pain issues that need to be addressed, and this person sure does. I am a very slow healer; an 80-year old can have the same surgery as me and return to yoga or square dancing classes a mere two weeks after receiving their bionic hip. Not so, I.
So here I am, wishing I was further along in my rehabilitation but refusing to compare myself to others who appear to be better off post-surgery than I am. I can smile throughout my day and sleep well at night knowing I have one of the most effective rehabilitation tools a person could hope for: my husband. Jerry supports me physically and he supports me emotionally, the latter of which has been almost more important than the former. He recently held me in his arms on the couch while I bawled into his neck, saturating it and his t-shirt with my tears. On that particular day, I was tired of hurting. To be sure, pain is very taxing on one’s body and emotions – there is no separation between the two – so if my body is having a hard time, so is my psyche.
Is that a lose/lose situation? It can be, but if I remember to live one day or one moment at a time, I’ll be less inclined to allow fear and frustration to take root. Fear is based on the future: what if I never get better? what if the surgery didn’t work? what if I am never able to be as active as I want to be? what if I never stop hurting? All future-based.
When living in the moment I can celebrate my ability to:
- climb the stairs in my house two at a time instead of one;
- walk to the end of my driveway to retrieve the mail;
- get in and out of bed without assistance;
- bathe with very little assistance;
- dress myself;
- do more tasks in the kitchen than I was able to do four weeks ago; and
- hold my grandson and give him a multitude of smooches while he sits on my lap.
Regardless of how long it takes for me to get back to “normal” that time will come and when it does it’ll be right on time. In the interim, I’m going to acknowledge each moment as precious and not concern myself with that which has yet to occur.
Lighten up Mondays
We’ve programmed our landline to provide a specific song for each member of our family. If one of those songs comes up when a call comes in, we answer the phone. If not, we ignore the phone…except that still doesn’t prevent telemarketers from messing with our peace and quiet with their incessant calls…and don’t get me started on the upcoming election season with all their pleas for votes. I recently added Call Blocking to our phone service that is slated to go into effect today, Monday, October 23rd. Here are some telemarketer jokes that I hope signal the end of our household’s unwanted calls.
*****
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died . . . ”
3. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. Cry out in surprise, “Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
5. If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?”
6. After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can’t just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
7. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
8. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
9. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up… louder… louder!
10. Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
Kindness Fridays
According to the 2017 Alzheimer’s Association Facts and Figures research, there are more than 15 million Americans providing unpaid care for people with Alzheimer’s or other dementias. Some have assembled a team of family and friends so the responsibilities are evenly spread out, but that is not always the case. The solo caregiver manages—or tries to manage—everything on his own.
That’s where those who are on the outside looking in can become a caregiver’s hero.
OFFER TANGIBLE ASSISTANCE. We will never be wrong in assuming the caregiver needs help so rather than saying, “Call me if you need anything” we can ask, “What exactly do you need?” If we remember what we needed when we were on the mend from illness or surgery we should be able to come up with an endless list of concrete gifts of assistance.
MEALS. You need to cook for yourself and/or your household anyway so make a double recipe, pack that extra portion in a disposable dish, freeze it, and keep doing that for a week and deliver one full week’s worth of frozen meals to the caregiver who, receiving your food offerings, can look forward to not having to be creative in the kitchen at the end of the caregiving day. Engage others to sign up for this dinner on wheels program so the responsibilities are spread out amongst many.
ERRANDS. You’re running to the store for a few items; take the time to ask Sam if there’s anything he might need while you’re out. He may need a half-gallon of milk—and he might have needed it for the past several days—but embarking on that task proved impossible for him. With very little effort on your part you can make a huge difference in Sam’s well-being. Maybe the needed item is toilet paper; acquiring that for him makes you a genuine hero!
CHORES. The last task a time-strapped caregiver considers doing is housework or yardwork. You will not insult your friend or neighbor by offering to vacuum their house or clean their bathrooms. Or perhaps it’s a lawn that needs mowing or a flower bed, weeding; that sprucing up will provide the caregiver with a virtual—and literal—fresh view of their circumstances.
OTHER OPTIONS. Sam may turn down home improvement offers but he might say, “What I could really use right now is some help figuring out Nancy’s health insurance statements.” Or he might say, “My wife’s not much of a conversationalist anymore, I’d give anything to have an hour to talk with someone who is. Could you stop by later today for a visit? I’ll even talk politics if it means having someone else to talk to.”
WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE. The family caregiver has so much going on physically and emotionally, offers of assistance can be the salve that gets them through each day.
Grief: Your caregiving friend is grieving the loss of a person who is still with him. Unlike the sudden death of a family member, the Alzheimer’s caregiver suffers the prolonged loss of their loved one—oftentimes called ambiguous loss—because although physically present, the person with dementia is continuously leaving their loved one.
Exhaustion. Physical, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion sneak up on the solo caregiver and they are killers. The solo caregiver must put their needs above those of the one for whom they are providing care and sometimes they need you, the outsider, to help them prioritize those needs. Just like the airlines’ seatbelt instructions, the person meeting the need requires attention before the one requiring it.
BOTTOM LINE. You have so much to offer the time-strapped family caregiver; your gifts of kindness are more valuable than you could ever imagine.
Do you want additional insight into what caregivers with whom you are acquainted are facing? You can order Requiem for the status quo at Barnes & Noble and Amazon as well as all online and brick and mortar chain and independent bookstores. And if you have already read my debut novel, please consider leaving a review on the online retailer’s website of your choice.
Meet Marita Golden, author of “The Wide Circumference of Love” — AlzAuthors
Silent Storm: What We Remember, What We Forget, What We Discover A Novelist Meditates on Writing about Alzheimer’s By Marita Golden I didn’t choose. I was called. That’s how inspiration, art, and creativity work sometimes. I am often asked why I wrote a novel about Alzheimer’s disease. I am not caring for anyone afflicted with […]
via Meet Marita Golden, author of “The Wide Circumference of Love” — AlzAuthors
Lighten up Mondays
Today is Boss’s Day. Alas, some jokes at the boss’s expense.
A company hires a new CEO with the intent of shaking things up and repairing a culture the board feels has gotten too lax. On his first day, the CEO walks into the break room to find all of his employees in there, slacking off, telling jokes, and eating pizza. Ready to make a big first impression, the CEO storms up to the closest person.
“You!” the CEO shouts in his face, aggressively. “How much do you make in a week?”
“Me?” the man says, confused. “$500.”
The CEO pulls out his wallet and removes five $100 bills and shoves them at the man.
“Here,” he says. “Take a week’s pay and get out of here. I never want to see you again.”
The man shrugs, takes the money, and exits. The CEO turns to the remaining employees.
“Okay,” he says. “Now who wants to tell me who that sorry excuse for a worker was?”
One of the employees steps forward.
“He delivered the pizzas,” she says.
*****
An employee goes to see his supervisor in the front office.
“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
“We’re short-handed,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says the employee “I knew I could count on you!”
Kindness Fridays
- Bionic hip
- Loss of independence
- Healthcare TLC
I received a new right hip this past Monday afternoon which rendered me fully dependent on the staff of a local hospital, Evergreen Health Medical Center in Kirkland, Washington. As a two-night inpatient at the hospital, I was reliant on staff for absolutely all of my needs.
If you can imagine everything you do during the course of a day requiring at least one medical person to provide intimate assistance, you can easily imagine all the tasks incumbent upon the nurses, certified nursing assistants(CNA), physical therapy personnel, food delivery staff, and even someone such as Barbara the housekeeper, at your beck and call.
My personality is such that I’d much rather be giving than receiving. Each time I pushed the nurse call button I carefully considered whether such a request was warranted: bladder full to rupturing, yeah, warranted; refill of my patient water carafe? Maybe I could wait and encumber the next person who walks into my room.
From the time I checked in for surgery at 11:30 Monday morning until I was discharged at 2:30 Wednesday afternoon, each person with whom I came in contact was fully dedicated to serving my needs. They noticed if my blankets were pushed asunder in my bed and straightened them comfortably around my body. When shuffling with my walker to the bathroom while wearing my backless hospital-issued gown they discreetly covered me up and made sure my dignity was kept intact.
Then there was the aforementioned employee who after knocking on my door said, “It’s just me, Barbara the housekeeper.” Upon granting the 60-something-year-old admission to my room, she said, “I want to be sure your room is clean and acceptable. You don’t need to do a thing, just lay there – and you (my husband) sit comfortably in the folding chair and I’ll work around you.”
I engage absolutely everyone I come across in conversation so it was quite natural for me to converse with Barbara the housekeeper. I asked her how long she had been working at Evergreen and it had been quite some time. “You must have seen lots of changes over the years.”
“Yeah, of course I have, but it’s good. I like what I do. I like all the people I get to meet over the course of a day.”
“I’m sure you’ve met those who, because of their circumstances, weren’t exactly the most friendly people you’ve encountered in your life.”
“Aw, sure, but you get that everywhere, not just in a place like this.”
True, so very true. As I’ve mentioned in past blog posts, each of us has a choice of whether to make or break someone’s day. I can tell you that there was not one employee at the hospital who broke my day, rather, each person made my stay there as palatable as it could possibly be. Mind you, the dings of call lights going off all day and all night from the nurses’ station directly across from my room weren’t the highlight of my stay, but those dings are far easier to accept when you realize that you initiated your share of call dings yourself and benefited from the responses of the dedicated medical personnel who had to answer such pleadings.
All in all, I’d have to say that if you have to go through the pain of getting a new and improved hip in order to lead a more comfortable life going forward, being treated with kindness during the process certainly renders the recovery far more appetizing. This former patient has no complaints whatsoever. She was treated like a queen.
Lighten up Mondays
If you’re reading these Monday funnies on October 9th, you’re having fun while I’m in an operating room getting a bionic hip. Therefore, some medical humor. And I’ll see all of you on the other side!!!
- I love being a nurse, but most of all I just like being able to wear scrubs all the time – they’re the closest thing to pajamas.
- My healthcare plan is pretty simple: I’m covered as long as I stay healthy.
- Let’s take this week to thank nurses for all the crap they have to do. Seriously, everyone, they deserve the best seat in Heaven.
- My doctor is an ear, nose, and throat specialist. I hope that doesn’t mean he didn’t finish the rest of med school.
- The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of Charades.
- If you trust Google more than you trust your doctor, maybe it’s time to change doctors.
- Phlebotomist: I’m here to draw some blood. Patient: But I just received blood yesterday.Phlebotomist: You didn’t think you’d get to keep it, did you?
I know, these weren’t extraordinarily funny but I’m pretty sure you’d rather not change places with me.
Am I right?
Kindness Fridays
A newly published book. A debut author event. The creative generosity of a neighbor.
My husband and I are very fortunate to live in a neighborhood where those neighbors in close proximity to our house watch out for each other, support each other, and care when things seem a bit too quiet at one of those closely proximate houses.
When my novel, Requiem for the status quo, was released this past summer, I let these neighbors know of future author events just in case they were interested in attending. Thus far four of our neighbors – that’s more than half of those closely nearby – have attended my events.
The first event was the most stressful one of course because although I was given the gift of gab early on in life, gabbing about a book in which much time and emotion had been devoted was something else entirely. I hadn’t slept well the night before; my stomach was all topsy-turvy; and quite frankly, I just wanted to get the darn event over with. Fast forward a couple months.
Two of my neighbors, Eva and her husband, Ian, attended that event. The other night, they gifted me with a carefully, creatively, crafted photo book documenting the evening. Ian offered that his wife, Eva, was truly the authoress of the bound photo book that so exquisitely and intimately provided a photo diary of my debut event.
22 pages of photos that documented my first author event!!!!!
I’m certain you all have experienced times in your life when positive happenings were in short supply? That’s where I found myself earlier this week until Eva and Ian walked across the street and infused my day/week/month with glad tidings and generous wishes.
That, my friends, is a kindness that will last forever.
Lighten up Mondays
I’m not on a diet but thought I’d spotlight dieting humor this week.
- The first day of dieting is always the best. You’re supposed to rid your house of all bad foods…what a delicious way to start a diet.
- You know how it is when you feel like you’ve been dieting for months and realize it’s only been since 9 that morning?
- Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy Twinkies.
- Professional tip: if you sprinkle coconut oil into your kale, it makes it a lot easier to scrape it into the trash.
- How’s the diet going? Not good, I had eggs for breakfast. Scrambled? No, Cadbury.
- You know how it is when you decide to have a cheat meal and all of a sudden it’s three years later?
- I want to be a caterpillar: eat a lot, sleep for awhile, wake up beautiful.
- I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was, “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”
Kindness Fridays
One way of expressing kindness is by expressing gratitude.
Anytime we think we don’t need to thank someone for something they’ve said or done that meant something to us, we do them a disservice.
My husband and I have been gifted with daily gratitude each time we take care of our grandson during our daughter and son-in-law’s work week. We have a routine: our daughter drops off our grandson and all other items needed for his day with us and as she gets into her car she always says, “Thank you.”
Our son-in-law picks up our grandson after a grueling day of work outside and after securing our grandson into the backseat of his truck, he says, “Thanks you guys.”
We’ve been caring for our grandson a few days a week since early August and now with September coming to a close the routine is pretty much set in stone but what isn’t set in stone, what is always fresh and affirming, is that our grandson’s parents bend over backwards to express their gratitude for what we’re doing to enable them to go to work and not have to worry about the care their son is receiving.
Big deal, right?
It is absolutely a big deal. We thoroughly enjoy the time we spend with our grandson – it is such a privilege we have been given – and we enjoy seeing his parents each caregiving day. Their expressions of gratitude never get old; every time they say “Thank you” I am filled with warm fuzzies that carry me through the day and the night. Such delightful adult children.
Lighten up Mondays
There is absolutely nothing humorous about the traffic in which we find ourselves. Commuting, whether five miles or fifty, is rarely without its frustrations. Alas, some humor to remember the next time you’re fed up with traffic.
*****
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, “I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it”
A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, “Son, I’m real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you’ve studied your bible diligently, but you didn’t get hair cut!”
The young man waited a moment and replied, “You know Dad, I’ve been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”
His father replied, “Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!”
*****
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, “Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don’t think it’s fair – there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?”
“Ever go fishing?” the policeman suddenly asked the man.
“Ummm, yeah…” the startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, “Ever catch all the fish?”
Kindness Fridays
I kind of blew it this week, so here is me being very transparent with you.
Tuesday of this week was the day my husband and I had multiple appointments to take care of. After I spent all morning having pre-surgical tests completed at the hospital in preparation for my October 9th hip replacement, I raced home to grab lunch, did some writing business in my home office, and then set out again for another doctor’s appointment that was originally scheduled for 1:30 but my doctor’s office called earlier that morning to reschedule the appointment to 2:45. I wasn’t happy with that change but sometimes – all the time – you just gotta go with the flow.
The problem was, my attitude wasn’t flowing very well by the time I arrived at said doctor’s office at 2:35 pm when the front desk employee told me my appointment was not until 3 pm.
“No, when this office called me this morning to change my appointment time, they specifically said the appointment time was 2:45, there was no indication that 2:45 was the check-in time.”
“I’m sorry, but no, the check-in time is 2:45 for a 3 pm appointment.”
I knew getting all huffy wouldn’t change the current situation but I chose to be huffy – it really is a choice when we choose to be huffy and that’s what I chose to be at that particular moment in time. I’m sure the front desk employee wasn’t the one who called that morning to tell me of my revised appointment time but I guess I felt I had a right to be upset.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t yell, I didn’t accuse anyone of being incompetent or anything as brash as that, but I let my mood transfer to that poor unfortunate employee and it was selfish of me to do so. You see, being kind is a conscious decision we make, but not being kind is a decision we make as well.
Fortunately, I had to return the next morning for a medical test and the same employee was at the front desk. I explained that the previous afternoon when I was checking in for my appointment I exhibited a bad mood toward her and I wanted to apologize for it. She thanked me and added that she didn’t think I was in a very bad mood at all. But I’m still glad I apologized. The Universe gave me an opportunity to make things right, and this time I chose wisely.
Lighten up Mondays
Life imitates art. Here are some publishing and writing jokes:
Why does an indie author use her phone a dozen times during dinner? To check her stats…”What? No sales in the last 45 minutes? Not even a view on my blog? How can that be?”
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- Why do they call payments from a publisher to an author “royalty,” when most checks seem like “peasantry?”
- When comforting a Grammar Fanatic, I always say, “Their, There, They’re.”
- “I never finish anyth….”
And now books on tape we don’t want to hear:
- The Torah as read by Louis Farrakhan
- The Anarchist’s Cookbook as read by Theodore Kaczinsky
- How To Win Friends and Influence People as read by Dennis Rodman
- Europe on $10 a Day as read by Steve Forbes
- Uncle Tom’s Cabin as read by George Wallace
- Moby Dick as read by Jonah
- Crime and Punishment as read by OJ Simpson
- Feynman’s Lectures On Physics as read by Dan Quayle
- The Joy of Cooking as read by Hannibal Lecter
Kindness Fridays
Community. That’s what this world needs: a unified body of individuals.
That doesn’t mean we all have to have the same political, social, or religious affiliation. What it does mean, however, is that we choose to live in unity and in support of each other.
Have you had the experience where you’re having a pretty darn good day and someone says or does something to you and your entire day’s direction is negatively altered?
In the alternative, have you experienced a bad day when someone says or does something to you and your entire day’s direction is altered for the better?
In the former, someone chose to live separate from you; chose to not recognize you as his or her fellow man; chose to harm you and widen the gap between the two of you.
In the latter, a kind-hearted person chose to come out of themselves; chose to join with a fellow survivor on this planet where division and hatred would seek to become the norm; chose to bridge the gap between the two of you.
My modus operandi is that I assume each person with whom I come in contact during my day needs my friendly words and actions in order for their day to improve. I believe in most cases I’ll be right on the money with that MO.
I mean, it sure couldn’t hurt, could it?
“How to have Fun with your Aging Parents”
I am reblogging the attached article about Christina Britton Conroy’s book that truly appears to be one all of us Baby Boomers need to add to our bookshelves. Personally, it has been a delight to be one of the AlzAuthors’ newest members. I am in such good company. Coming December 20th, you’ll be able to view my introduction as a member of this enriching group of authors.
Source: Meet Christina Britton Conroy, author of “How to have Fun with your Aging Parents”
Lighten up Mondays
Today’s funnies spotlight the 49th state where I lived for 13 years..
You might be an Alaskan if:
- you owe more money on your snowmobile than your automobile
- you have more miles on your snowblower than on your car
- you have four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, Construction
- you’ve hit a pothole and totaled your car
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Lloyd and Bruce fly in to the Alaskan interior to go moose hunting. They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of these animals–you’ll have to leave one. We’d never make it over the trees on the take-off.”
“That’s baloney”, says Bruce.
“Yeah,” Lloyd agrees, “you’re just chicken. We came out here last year and got two moose and that pilot had some guts; he wasn’t afraid to take off.”
“Yeah,” said Bruce, “and his plane wasn’t any bigger than yours!”
The pilot got angry, and said, “Well, if he did it, then I can do it, I can fly as well as anybody!” They loaded up, taxied at full throttle, and the plane almost made it but didn’t have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It clipped the top, then flipped, then broke up, scattering the baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers all through the brush.
Still alive, but shaken and dazed, the pilot sat up, shook his head to clear it, and said, “Where are we?”
Bruce rolled out from being thrown in a bush, looked around, and said, “I’d say, about a hundred yards further than last year.”
Kindness Fridays
Although the solar eclipse is a thing of the past, I’d like to report about a kindness our neighbor extended to us on that same day.
On Solar Eclipse Day, my husband and I were taking care of our grandson at our house. We didn’t take him outside, of course, and we decided we would watch the eclipse on the various television programs covering it live.
Our across the street neighbor texted me to ask if we were watching the eclipse outside. I responded that we hadn’t acquired any of the special glasses so we were not.
Not more than a minute later, our doorbell rang and there stood Ian with a pair of viewing glasses for our usage; he had an extra pair and wanted to make sure we had a chance to watch an event that certainly would not occur again in our lifetime.
And what a sight to see! So glad Ian’s generosity made it across the street to our house.
Meet Lori LaBey, founder of Alzheimer’s Speaks
You will benefit greatly by discovering all that Lori LaBey has done for the Alzheimer’s population.
Lighten up Mondays
Teachers and students are heading back to the classroom this week. Here’s this week’s spotlight on humor with a focus on education.
- A child comes home from 1st day at school. Mom asks, “What did you learn today?” The child replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
- The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said …”I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
- What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws; the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
- One day on Mercury is approximately 1408 hours, the same as one Monday on Earth.
- Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
Milton: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was. - Giving your child a recorder at school and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.
- And for those teachers in my immediate family, Kirstin and Kirby: “May your coffee be strong and your students, calm.”
Spotlight on two authors: Irene Frances Olson and Jill Weatherholt
While you’re enjoying your last official weekend of summer, I hope you’ll read a fellow blogger’s post Summer Spotlight that just happens to be an interview of an up and coming author … me!
And while you’re at it, check out that blogger’s inspirational romance title; Jill Weatherholt is quite good at what she writes. I enjoyed her novel, I know you will too!
Honor thy father
My father was the inspiration for my novel Requiem for the status quo.
I have held three author events since my novel’s release back in July and I have more planned before the end of the year. At the senior centers and independent bookstores where my events are hosted, each person attending is certainly there in support of my efforts, but more importantly, I believe their presence honors my father’s story, a story without a happy ending.
Here’s an excerpt from my novel that speaks of my fictional characters’ dilemma, but it also mirrors that which occurred in my real life experience with Alzheimer’s.
If it’s true that cancer is no respecter of persons, it is equally true that Alzheimer’s disease exhibits the same lack of respect. This disease is a murderer and I’m troubled by the millions of crimes it has gotten away with.
Alzheimer’s is also a robber, not only because it robs a person of his or her memories and future, but also because it exacts an emotional price that few can afford. To be sure, monetary costs are a challenging force to be reckoned with, but many family caregivers and their loved ones would no doubt conclude that the emotional toll on a person far surpasses even the costliest of care fees paid.
Until the person with Alzheimer’s or other dementia becomes blissfully unaware of the disease that is murdering him, he has a front row seat to all that is happening. My dad was the first to know when his senior moments became more than a quirk of the aging process. It grieves me to imagine what he went through when he was alone with his thoughts, witnessing first hand where those thoughts were taking him.
Yes, my father had a front row seat to the effects of a disease that is always fatal. Until he eventually became blissfully unaware, he lived with that fact every single day. If the caregiver thinks she or he has been dealt a bad hand in relation to Alzheimer’s, imagine if you possibly can how that hand plays out with the person diagnosed with the disease. I don’t know about you, but my imagination in such matters paints a picture I’d rather not see.
My very real reward for writing my novel is that my father is honored as a result of my efforts. Additionally, it is my sincere hope that those reading my novel and attending my author events manage to discover that they have a cheerleader in their corner…me.
Lighten up Mondays
I’m in a book kind of mood, having had a most successful author event at a local bookstore this past Saturday. Here’s some reading and book humor to start off the week.
- Each time you open a book and read it, a tree smiles knowing there’s life after death.
- I’m not addicted to reading. I can quit as soon as I finish one more chapter.
- Friend: “Why read when you can just watch the movie?” Me: “Why breathe when you’re just gonna die anyway?”
- Never judge a book by its movie.
- When something goes wrong in your life, just shout, “Plot twist!” and move on.
- I’m a bookaholic on the road to recovery…just kidding, I’m on the road to the bookstore.
- You know you’re a bookworm when your ultimate goal in life is to have your own special library in your house.
- Be careful about reading health books, you may die of a misprint.
- The great American novel has not only already been written, it has already been rejected.
I had to add that last bit of humor because it’s more realistic to an author than anything else on this Earth.
Living: the ultimate team sport 