Holiday jokes

Lighten up Mondays

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The first event of the 2017 Holiday season, Thanksgiving Day, is just hours away. Time to get into the mood, y’all.

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Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling off?

The buckle was on his hat!

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When I trace a turkey, it comes out looking exactly like my hand.

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Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. “What denomination?” asks the postal clerk.

Mary thinks a second before 
replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 
12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”

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Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

A: It’s Christmas, Eve!

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One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also 
go in mid-December.

 

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