Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling off?
The buckle was on his hat!
When I trace a turkey, it comes out looking exactly like my hand.
Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. “What denomination?” asks the postal clerk.
Mary thinks a second before replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”
Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
A: It’s Christmas, Eve!
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.