Holiday jokes

Lighten up Mondays

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The first event of the 2017 Holiday season, Thanksgiving Day, is just hours away. Time to get into the mood, y’all.


Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling off?

The buckle was on his hat!


When I trace a turkey, it comes out looking exactly like my hand.


Mary goes to the post office to buy 50 stamps for her Hanukkah cards. “What denomination?” asks the postal clerk.

Mary thinks a second before 
replying, “Give me six Orthodox, 
12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.”


Q: What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

A: It’s Christmas, Eve!


One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also 
go in mid-December.