Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on October 16, 2017 Updated on October 16, 2017

Today is Boss’s Day. Alas, some jokes at the boss’s expense.

A company hires a new CEO with the intent of shaking things up and repairing a culture the board feels has gotten too lax. On his first day, the CEO walks into the break room to find all of his employees in there, slacking off, telling jokes, and eating pizza. Ready to make a big first impression, the CEO storms up to the closest person.

“You!” the CEO shouts in his face, aggressively. “How much do you make in a week?”

“Me?” the man says, confused. “$500.”

The CEO pulls out his wallet and removes five $100 bills and shoves them at the man.

“Here,” he says. “Take a week’s pay and get out of here. I never want to see you again.”

The man shrugs, takes the money, and exits. The CEO turns to the remaining employees.

“Okay,” he says. “Now who wants to tell me who that sorry excuse for a worker was?”

One of the employees steps forward.

“He delivered the pizzas,” she says.

*****

An employee goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

“Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”

“Thanks, boss,” says the employee “I knew I could count on you!”