Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on September 4, 2017 Updated on September 2, 2017

Teachers and students are heading back to the classroom this week. Here’s this week’s spotlight on humor with a focus on education.

• A child comes home from 1st day at school. Mom asks, “What did you learn today?” The child replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
• The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said …”I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
• What is the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws; the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
• One day on Mercury is approximately 1408 hours, the same as one Monday on Earth.
• Teacher: Milton, how can you prove the earth is round?
  Milton: I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.
• Giving your child a recorder at school and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.
• And for those teachers in my immediate family, Kirstin and Kirby: “May your coffee be strong and your students, calm.”