Lighten up Mondays

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I’m not on a diet but thought I’d spotlight dieting humor this week.

  • The first day of dieting is always the best. You’re supposed to rid your house of all bad foods…what a delicious way to start a diet.
  • You know how it is when you feel like you’ve been dieting for months and realize it’s only been since 9 that morning?
  • Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire, and used the insurance money to buy Twinkies.
  • Professional tip: if you sprinkle coconut oil into your kale, it makes it a lot easier to scrape it into the trash.
  • How’s the diet going? Not good, I had eggs for breakfast. Scrambled? No, Cadbury.
  • You know how it is when you decide to have a cheat meal and all of a sudden it’s three years later?
  • I want to be a caterpillar: eat a lot, sleep for awhile, wake up beautiful.
  • I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was, “I bet a donut wouldn’t have done this to me.”

6 thoughts on “Lighten up Mondays

    nrhatch said:
    October 2, 2017 at 7:13 am

    Dieting is a great way to “Lighten Up” . . .

    Liked by 1 person

      Irene Olson responded:
      October 2, 2017 at 7:45 am

      Good one. Hadn’t even thought of that play on words. Great!

      Liked by 1 person

        nrhatch said:
        October 2, 2017 at 2:09 pm

        Here’s a bonus diet joke:

        Q: My trainer said that swimming is good for my figure. What do you think?
        A: NO WAY. If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

        Liked by 1 person

    Jill Weatherholt said:
    October 2, 2017 at 5:07 am

    Loved these, especially the kale reference. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

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