21st Century Living
Kindness Fridays
This past Wednesday I rode the bus into downtown Seattle to have lunch with my daughter, Erin. Two blocks from my bus stop in a very congested road construction area, someone pulled the stop cord, and I guess because of the traffic, the driver let the passengers off a half block early. This was a very unusual action on the bus driver’s part. Every bus commuter knows the only time a driver picks up or drops off passengers is in the designated bus stop. I’ve witnessed people trying to catch a bus, flagging down the bus in an undesignated area, and that driver will keep on going. Even if the driver is stopped at a red light he or she will not open the door for the person flagging down the bus. RULES ARE RULES.
So back to my bus commute. At the OFFICIAL bus stop stood a woman to board our bus. The driver opened the door and grumbled, “I already stopped back there! Now you’re holding everyone up.” She was walking to the OFFICIAL stop so missed seeing the premature stop that occurred behind her.
She was in the right by standing at the real stop but she was verbally penalized.
Kindness was in order but it wasn’t extended. The bus driver messed up the law-abiding woman’s day by yelling at her and collateral damage landed on me which took the form of my mood being deflated. But then the woman returned the driver’s discourtesy with kindness. She said, “Have a nice day, sir.”
When we have the opportunity to express ourselves in such a way as to harm someone, but choose instead to bless someone with our words, the grand order of the universe is altered so that peace displaces disharmony.
The female passenger’s words made my day, thus cancelling out the grumpy driver’s ill-chosen ones.
Have a nice day everyone.
Lighten up Mondays
Today is the official day for Americans – some Americans – to file their tax returns. Here are some tax facts over which to ruminate:
The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Bible is only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913 to 7 million words today.
The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times around the earth.
Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.
American taxpayers spend over $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.
The amount of effort needed to calculate and pay federal income for individuals and businesses in the United States is the equivalent of a staff of 3 million people working full-time for a year.
The IRS employs 114,000 people — twice as many as the CIA and five times more than the FBI.
60% of taxpayers must hire a professional to get through their own return.
Taxes eat up 38.2% of the average family’s income; that’s more than for food, clothing and shelter combined.
Kindness Fridays
Have world events impacted you in such a way that you feel things are hopeless?
Are you overwhelmed to the point that you say to yourself, What could I possibly do to make a difference?
The answer is:
You can make a difference because kindness trumps all.
I recently wrote Ellen Degeneres to thank her for her ongoing efforts to spread kindness. Sure, at the end of each of her daily shows she says, Be kind to one another, but she puts force behind those words in what she does for others. At the conclusion of my letter to her, I said the following:
We’re not charged with changing the entire world, but we can have an impact on the miniscule portion of the world to which we have access. You’re doing it, and I will continue to do what I can from my corner of the world. If everyone makes a fraction of a difference right from where they are, those fractions will add up to great things.
I’m glad I’m on the same kindness train as you, Ellen, and I’ll keep chugging along until I can’t chug any longer.
I sincerely believe that random acts or words of kindness can make a difference in the world in which we live. There are so many negative and hurtful words being thrust into our universe, can’t we just please try to balance out that hurt with words of encouragement, recognition, and nourishment?
Yes, nourishment. In all our daily interactions – be they via social media or in person – we can nurture the hurt that exists all around us. Our words, our smile, our actions may just change the life of someone forever. Haven’t you been on the receiving end of that type of transformative nourishment? Didn’t it feel good? Didn’t it fill the emptiness within you that hungered and thirsted for confirmation that you matter, that you aren’t a failure, that you have potential?
Let’s revisit how that felt and commit to quenching the thirst of each person with whom we come in contact.
Being connected in a fragmented world
Much has been said about how impersonal – or even cruel – social media can be. That certainly is the case many times over, but social media can also be a way in which to stay connected with those you care about but with whom you are not able to get together as frequently as you would like.
That is the case for me.
I currently have 60 Facebook (FB) friends, most of whom are those who are close friends and family members. I’ve never felt I needed to post ginormous numbers of friends in order to be a valid Facebook user; I’ve just always been thrilled to be able to follow the lives of those with whom I have a history.
When I first opened my FB account I sent friend requests to everyone I could find on the site. One of those was my daughter, Erin, who indicated that she preferred to keep her FB life separate from her mother/daughter life. I totally got that – and still do – so Erin and I aren’t FB friends but we communicate so much, we always know what’s the latest and greatest in each of our lives.
It’s just this year that my FB family has been enlarged; I’m reaching out to my nieces and nephews and other fabulous family members who – when I first started on FB – were quite a bit younger than they are now. And joy of all joys, they’re reaching out to me! Quite frankly, I figured why would the younger set care about what this geezer-in-the-making is doing with herself? Turns out, they do care, and it’s been glorious, and I certainly care about what they’re doing. The added benefit is that when we do get together, I’ll be far better acquainted with them because we’ve stayed connected on an ongoing basis.
Connecting with others – having contact with them – tears down walls that need not exist. I’ll leave you with a quote from The Power of Kindness about what lack of connection can result in:
We can also do the opposite: build walls, as well as find ourselves in front of others’ walls, and decide that this is an easier, more practical way to live . . . Distance may be safer. But our lives are poorer without the nourishment that these people can give – nourishment in the form of stimuli, different points of view, fresh emotions.
The incapacity of being in touch with others can become a tragedy of solitude. We become our own prisoners.
No thank you.
Lighten up Mondays
In keeping with the baby theme going on in our household – our first grandchild is expected to be born the first week of May – this week’s funnies center around babies.
*****
Saw the cutest triplets in the mall last week. Each had a personalized shirt.
1st shirt said: I WAS PLANNED.
2nd one said: I WAS NOT.
3rd said: ME NEITHER!
*****
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. “What’s the matter Johnny?” asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: “That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home…I just want her to stay with you guys.”
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant so the boy asked the attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
She responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy admitted that was the case.
“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you.”
Kindness Fridays
Have you ever been on the receiving end of encouragement? Of course you have. Referring again to my daily-read book, The Power of Kindness, by Piero Ferucci, he calls that type of kindness”
“a warming help: attention and a kind word in a difficult moment.”
My across the street neighbor, Eva, is an enthusiastic, lively person – kind of like me if I do say so myself. We get along quite well. Unfortunately, we don’t get together often enough because life gets in the way. Yep, the intricacies of life even get in the way of spending time with decidedly beautiful people.
When Eva and I get together we operate on the same wavelength: we love people more than we hate people, we get excited about similar things, and we lift each other up just by sharing our energy with each other. And when one of us is down or blahness seems to have taken over our personal orbit, time spent with each other erases a good portion of that blahness. I’m close to twenty years older than Eva, but that doesn’t matter in the least. When we’re together, we’re Besties, and we’re the same age. Period.
Without fail, each and every time we leave each other – whether at the conclusion of a neighborhood walk or a lunch date – Eva throws me kisses. Saying goodbye until next time isn’t good enough for my neighbor, instead, she gives me something that lasts and also makes me feel good about the time I’ve spent with her. Just thinking about those thrown kisses are a warming help that is sometimes needed during my day. Quite frankly, just writing about it has already improved my day exponentially.
My neighbor Eva: a delightful gift of kindness.
Gawd, I love her.
Lighten up Mondays
Professional basketball, college basketball, it’s all going on. On today’s date, Monday, April3 3rd, the NCAA Championship game takes place between Gonzaga University (Spokane, WA) and University of North Carolina. Three of my family members graduated from Gonzaga so you can bet I’m cheering for the Spokane team.
Here are some basketball-related jokes for today’s Monday funny.
*****
I play in the over-40 basketball league. We don’t have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.
*****
Earl and Bob, both obsessed with basketball, never missed their favorite team’s games. They promised, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was basketball in heaven.
One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally, Earl did. He said to Bob. “I have good news and bad news. I’ll tell you the good news first. There is basketball in heaven.” Bob said, “That’s the best news ever!”
Then Earl said, “Time for the bad news…You’re starting at guard tomorrow night.”
*****
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about basketball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the best coaches.”
“I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered unperturbed. “We’ve got all the refs.”
April Fools’ memory
The girls get out of bed – anger seething below the surface of their drowsy bedheads – cross their arms, and they yell, “That’s not fair!”
Patrick agrees, April Fools’ Day is no reason to have a day off from school . . . then he claps his hands together, and barely stifling a laugh, he says, “Gotcha!”
That exact scene happened to my sister and I – thus the reason why I had to include it in my novel. My father had the keenest sense of humor – a funny bone that stayed with him even while the plaques and tangles in his brain leeched the very life out of him. As a family, we were very fortunate that his humor survived until the very end. That is not always the case, as readers will discover when they meet the other characters in my novel whose disease journey is far from cool, calm, and collected.
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, release date: July 20 2017.
Black Rose Writing, publisher.
Kindness Fridays
Last Friday I mentioned a book that I read daily, Live your dash. Another book I read on a daily basis is The Power of Kindness, The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life, by Piero Ferrucci, I’m actually on my second read-through of this encouraging book.
I think we can all agree that what makes the headline news is rarely the pleasant things that occur around us. Horror sells newspapers.
Mr. Ferrucci says the following regarding that unfortunate truth:
There may be murder, there may be violence, and there may be selfishness, but most human beings at heart are helpful and supportive. Cruelty makes the headlines precisely because it is the exception.
But the world goes on because we care for one another . . .
And yet life goes on precisely because we are kind to one another. No newspaper tomorrow will tell of a mother who read a bedtime story to her child, or a father who prepared breakfast for his children, of someone who listened with attention, of a friend who cheered us up, of a stranger who helped us carry a suitcase.
Think of how long our world has been in existence and consider all the mayhem that has played out as described in history books and in front of our very eyes.
Yet, the world goes on.
Kindness and caring have sufficiently sustained us through wars, terrorism, pestilence, and other natural disasters.
It seems appropriate, therefore, that we should feed kindness so its supply never runs out.
Perhaps some day cruelty will run out of steam and die a natural death.
I mean, a person’s gotta hope … right?
The Non-Complaint Department – reblog delight
We don’t have to take lessons to excel at complaining; no, we’ve got it in the bag when it comes to such things. Nancy’s article puts things into perspective when it comes to those many things we take advantage of/complain about.
I overheard the most ordinary – yet extraordinary – conversation yesterday.
Two friends were catching up after our Yoga class. One had just returned from visiting her son and grandchildren.
“I see my grandchildren so much more than I ever thought I would,” the woman said. “It’s such an easy trip. Bradley [our Connecticut airport] is so fantastic.”
“I know!” said her friend. “Convenient parking, easy walks to the gates… we are so lucky!”
Okay. Wow.
When was the last time you heard someone say something nice about AN AIRPORT????
But it’s true. We have a nice airport. And there are great airports all over the world. We can go anywhere. I did not travel the ocean in steerage to go to my business meeting in France.
I’m not saying we don’t have lots of problems with flying. But my God, we are flying.
And there are so many things…
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Lighten up Mondays
In some places of the world, the weather is improving: snow is melting, the temps are getting a bit warmer, and spring yard cleaning is in the forefront of our minds. Here’s some humor to get you in the mood.
*****
When Phil’s power mower broke down, his wife Kristi kept dropping hints about getting it fixed before the grass got too tall, but the message wasn’t sinking in, and Phil kept putting off the repairs. Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point. When Phil arrived at home one day, he found her sitting in the grass, clipping it by hand with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a few minutes, then went into the house. Coming back in a few minutes, he handed her a toothbrush.
“When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the sidewalks.”
*****
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
There’s one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor’s.
My neighbour Bill asked if he could use my lawnmower. I told him of course he could, so long as he used it on my property.
Kindness Fridays
I own a book – kind of a devotional, but not religious – that I read each morning, Live Your Dash, by Linda Ellis. The subtitle is Make Every Moment Matter. Ms. Ellis’s book encourages readers to live well in the time between the dash that exists between the day we were born and the day we die. Today’s Kindness post directly quotes an excerpt from her book that I thought was relevant to the subject at hand.
Your name, as spoken, and as remembered, represents more than your reputation. Through the years, it becomes an embodiment of the ways in which you have lived your dash, and touched others’ lives.
Live your life in such a manner that when you imagine your name being spoken in your absence, there will never be a desire (or need) to be present to defend it.
Words in italics provided by this blog author.
Writing what you know
I’ve read numerous articles regarding what writers of fiction – or non-fiction for that matter – should write about:
- You should write about what you know
- Expand your horizons, write about what you don’t know and research the heck out of the subject matter
In my case, I did both: I wrote about what I knew very intimately – caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease – and I performed a great deal of research to augment and supplement the personal knowledge I acquired over my father’s multi-year disease journey.
I enjoyed the research almost as equally as I enjoyed going through my personal journals and my father’s medical records that documented the progress of his fatal disease.
Perhaps “enjoy” isn’t exactly the most appropriate descriptor of the developmental process for my novel, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO. Perhaps the more appropriate descriptor is that I was fully engaged and committed to accurately tell every nuance of the story.
You see, the greater portion of the story was very personal to me and my family but it was also a story I knew was representative of so many in the world dealing with the same horrific disease onslaught. I took my story-telling responsibility of portraying the reality of the physical and emotional toll on caregiver and patient very seriously, but I also included humorous incidents that crop up from time to time when you least expect it … because as with all things in life, even during the darkest of times, humor can be found if we’re open to its sanity-saving presence.
And those of you in-the-know understand how important it is to nurture the fading remnants of sanity onto which you are holding.
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, to be released by Black Rose Writing, July 2017
Sending The Right Message – reblogged from a kindness freak’s blog. WONDERFUL.
Yes. Being kind, extending kindness – whether by words or actions – can create far more lasting and positive vibes and outcomes than proliferating hatred. Thanks, Nancy.
Yesterday, when I was driving home from the supermarket, ahead of me was one of those big, fancy pickup trucks. As the light turned red, I came up close on his tail, and I saw that he had a decal on the back window of his cab. This was no normal decal – no Praise The Lord or even a Castrol Motor Oil. Nope. For one thing the decal was HUMONGOUS – it took up the whole back window.
And its message?
Yes, that’s what it said:
Locally Hated
For the rest of the day, I couldn’t get that decal out of my mind. I kept wondering what it meant. I thought perhaps it was the name of a rock band. It seemed like it would be a good name for a heavy metal group, and since I am not very knowledgeable in the metal genre (meaning: I like James…
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Lighten up Mondays
We attended a family wedding this past Saturday – a very enjoyable get together to celebrate the marriage of one of our nieces. I thought I’d offer this little bit of humor that focuses on what might take place right after a couple gets engaged. I wonder if Jim & Wendy (Saturday’s parents of the bride) can relate?
******
When I announced that I was getting married, my excited mother said, “You have to have the rehearsal dinner someplace opulent, where there’s dancing.”
My father, seeing where this was heading, said, “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to elope.”
“And you have to have a breakfast, for the people who are coming from out of town.”
“Two thousand.”
“We’ll need a photographer. Oh, and what colors do you want for the reception?”
“Five thousand!”
We eloped to Spain.
Kindness Fridays
While on errands the other day – during a very busy time of day in the middle of a downtown Redmond, WA construction zone – traffic was pretty much bumper to bumper and getting to my appointment on time was proving to be a waning possibility.
On the two lane road upon which I was driving, the car directly in front of me stopped to let another car out of the business park on the right. I’m quite certain that made that driver’s day – I know my day has been improved inordinately when that grace has been extended to me.
Approximately five minutes later a car coming toward me in the opposite lane put on his turn signal, indicating he wanted to turn into a driveway coming up on my right; he would need to turn in front of my car to do so.
Looks like that earlier driver who extended a courtesy rubbed off on me. I stopped, motioned the car through, and then went on my way.
My day was delayed by a whole eight seconds.
The point of this mini-kindness post is that I immediately wanted to replicate what that previous driver had done. That driver’s kindness gave me yet more proof that when kindnesses are extended, such kindnesses can influence others. Sure, hatred spreads like wildfire, but kindness can snuff out that fire and benefit so many.
That’s the kind of influence with which I want to be associated. How about you?
See also: Do little rather than nothing
Lighten up Mondays
When romantic relationships last well into the stratosphere:
The couple had reached an age where the wife thought it was time to start considering wills and funeral arrangements rather than be caught unprepared. Her husband, however, wasn’t too interested in the topic.
“Would you rather be buried or cremated?” she asked him.
There was a pause, then he replied from behind his newspaper, “Surprise me.”
***
Mrs. Willencot was very frugal. When her husband died, she asked the newspaper how much it would cost for a death notice.
“Two dollars for five words.”
“Can I pay for just two words?” she asked. “Willencot dead.”
“No, two dollars is the minimum. You still have three words remaining.”
Mrs. Willencot thought a moment then said, “Cadillac for sale.”
***
A grieving widow was discussing her late husband with a friend. “My Albert was such a good man, and I miss him so. He provided well for me with that fifty-thousand dollar insurance policy – but I would give back a thousand of it, just to have him with me again.”
Terms of Endearment – reblog from NOT QUITE OLD
Nancy and I seem to be on the same kindness path. I’m certain many of you are as well. Isn’t it a welcome relief to read of the good that occurs in the world?
I can easily come up with dozens of little kindnesses that I’ve experienced lately. If I go back further, I can come up with hundreds. Maybe thousands in my whole lifetime, which is about 2/3 of a century now. I’m grateful for those kindnesses and also grateful that I remember them. I’d hate to let a kindness be forgotten.
But I am now thinking of kindnesses that I myself have offered, and whether it is a good thing or a bad thing, I seem to have forgotten most of them.
Maybe it is a virtue to pay a kindness and let it go.
But what if it is because I have been stingy with my own kindnesses?
I really hope not. I know I pay a lot of compliments. And not just lip service – I try to recognize excellence – to notice and call it out.
I tell people…
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Kindness Fridays
Acceptance. That’s what today’s post is about.
I met my husband on September 21st, 1996. In the 21 years since that first date, I guarantee my body/looks have changed – as would be expected.
And as is also expected – if you’re me – is you become self-conscious of parts of your body that don’t quite resemble the version from two decades ago. You avoid extensive interaction with a mirror when you step out of the shower, quickly covering up all the body bits that have betrayed you over the years.
Well, not betrayed, just relocated and representing themselves differently than before.
Guess what? My husband compliments me time and again, never pointing out the changes because quite frankly, he doesn’t see them. No, he’s not blind; when I say he doesn’t see them, I mean he doesn’t see them. He sees me, the woman he met in 1996, married in 2000, and who daily recommits himself to me for a lifetime. Love isn’t blind, it’s also not critical. Love is accepting.
That’s kindness with a capital K.
When worry gets in the way of Being Here
My life took an exciting turn when I signed a book contract on February 17, 2017 for my novel, Requiem for the status quo. When I started to write this novel in December 2012, five years after my father died from Alzheimer’s disease, I had the goal of seeing it published and in the hands of readers everywhere. I thought I knew how difficult it would be to secure a publisher, but I was wrong . . .
I had no idea how difficult a task it would be. I was so proud of the story, a story that was inspired by my years of caring for my father with Alzheimer’s disease, that I figured if I loved it enough, others would love it too.
One hundred queries to agents and publishers later, it’s now slated to be published this summer.
Great news, right? Absolutely great news but then, as many authors will tell you, the real work began, and with that real work came real stress and worry. Those added ingredients to my publication status robbed me of enjoying the moment, of celebrating my accomplishment – of being here. I abandoned the comfort of the present, of being mindful of what was going on in my life, where I could celebrate and relish the attainment of my publication goal. Instead, I focused on the future where fear and worry reside. I was living in a time and space that didn’t even exist, and I resided there for an entire week, and suffered the consequences: lack of sleep, dis-ease, and distress.
But I’m back, and I’m accomplishing task after task after task and thoroughly enjoying the process.
I’m now reaping the benefits of Being Here, right where I’m supposed to be.
Lighten up Mondays
George Burns punctuated this story with a flick of his cigar:
A woman said to me, “Is it true that you still go out with young girls?”
I said yes, it’s true.
She said, “Is it true that you still smoke 15-20 cigars a day?”
I said yes, it’s true.
She said, “Is it true that you still take a few drinks every day?”
I said, yes, it’s true.
She said, “What does your doctor say about your lifestyle?”
I said, “He’s dead.”
Looks like I’m good to go, at least with my daily sips of wine!
Cheers everyone!!!
Kindness Fridays
While grocery shopping at a very busy store earlier this week, I witnessed a kindness extended toward another shopper at the check-out line.
My groceries were in the process of being scanned and bagged when another customer pushed her cart to the same checkstand where I was being helped.
The male Checker extended the following greeting to the customer:
“Well, good afternoon to you Ms. Parker! It’s so nice to see you!”
I would guess Ms. Parker’s age to be just north of 85 years old. If you could have seen the look of pleasure on her face when that grocery employee greeted her and used her given name, you would have felt the same delight and good vibes as did I.
When my transaction was wrapped up and Ms. Parker took my place at the counter, the Checker said:
“I haven’t seen you in awhile; I’ve missed you! I’m so glad you’re here today.”
How do you think Ms. Parker felt having been personally greeted and figuratively taken into the arms of that employee?
I imagine it made her day.
That’s what I want to do, make someone’s day better than it was before their encounter with me.
Every day kindness. Something to which to strive
Now that I am in a Kindness mania – and is there a better mania to be in? – I was reminded by a reader of the importance of being a good neighbor. I don’t believe I have listed neighborly kindnesses, except in the sense that we are all neighbors. But I should mention the […]
Love is …
There’s a new social media trend going on right now initiated by Ellen DeGeneres, Lady Gaga, Pharrell Williams, and Revlon. You can see their mini-video by visiting Ellen’s website. The trend is being expressed by these phrases:
#lovein3words
#theloveproject2017
With all the discord among the citizens of the United States due in part to a lack of discourse between groups who have purposefully alienated themselves from each other, perhaps love is the one quality with which we can clothe ourselves to be more open and accepting of each other.
We don’t have to agree with everyone’s opinions or leanings, but can’t we at least respect each other enough to listen?
Can’t we just listen without bringing our own preconceived perceptions and prejudices to the forefront?
Please, don’t turn off others’ voices.
JUST LISTEN.
More Random Kindness
I love that Nancy has listed a long list of kindnesses generated toward her. This post will keep us all mindful of all that goes on around us – especially the good stuff. Enjoy!
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the kindness of strangers (Peripheral Love) – and how it makes our lives better. Some were large and significant acts of kindness and some were just small and random, but even those little gestures matter.
Once I started thinking about these little kindnesses, I remembered so many more, and witnessed more happening around me every day.
Kindness is bombarding me.
Sometimes Kindness is help when I need it. Sometimes it is generosity. Sometimes the kindness is just making me smile. How lovely it is that total strangers can still make us smile.
Here are a few more, both remembered and recent:
*
This summer while walking the dog, I came upon a trio of teenagers on skateboards. They got off their boards, and I sort of prepared myself to be harassed by these tough-looking boys. The biggest, scariest one (and teenagers can…
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Lighten up Mondays
Two clerics get into a car accident and it’s a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished, but, amazingly, neither of the men are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, one says to the other,
“There’s nothing left, but we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God. God must have meant that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.”
The other cleric agrees, and adds,
“And look at this, here’s another miracle, my car was completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
He then hands the bottle to the other cleric who takes a few big swigs and hands the bottle back. The other man takes back the bottle and immediately puts the cap on.
“Aren’t you going to take a drink?”
“No, I think I’ll wait for the police to join us,” he said.
Kindness Fridays
This week’s kindness centers around the dining industry where waitstaff work their tails off for us gastronome-wannabes and oftentimes receive little thanks for it, other than what I hope is a decent-sized tip for excellent service.
My sister is visiting me from California, and with her visit coming on the heels of my publication contract, (see Irene Frances Olson – me! – has signed with a publisher) she wanted to take me out to lunch to celebrate. In between touring the Seattle Art Museum and attending the Northwest Flower & Garden Show, both in downtown Seattle, we settled in for a delicious lunch at Palomino Restaurant.
Our server for the day was a fine gentleman named Sam. After he introduced himself, my sister announced that she was treating me to lunch to celebrate my book contract. He was astounded, genuinely impressed that one of his customers was soon to be a published author. (I wonder if perhaps he is also a writer – or perhaps an actor – and therefore fully understands the enormity of the situation. Writing is like acting: many people want to break into these industries, but find little success in doing so.)
He asked all the appropriate questions about manuscript publication, honing in on the details of my novel’s roll-out process. He then asked what we would like for our beverage and I chose a half diet, half sugar loaded, Coke. My sister also ordered a Coke. He walked away to get our orders but returned within a minute’s time and said, and I paraphrase, “Wait a minute, you got a publishing contract and a Coke is what you’re ordering to celebrate? You sure?”
Unfortunately, I was sure, because if I had imbibed on my 1st choice – a margarita – the remainder of my day’s efforts would have fallen by the wayside. He complied with my request, and throughout our time at his table, served us attentively (but not over-attentively … we all know what that feels like). At one point during our lunch I told him I would be featuring his kindness for my weekly Kindness Fridays column. He asked for my blog website address so he could have a look-see when it’s published.
Toward the end of my our lunch, he asked about the storyline for REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO. He was touched by its origin, saying how intrigued he was by the story, and sorry for our family’s experience.
I guess the way I would describe that day’s kindness is that I felt important and appreciated. I felt special.
And who doesn’t want to feel special now and again?
Lighten up Mondays
My daughter’s birthday is today.
February 20th, 1976 was the best and not quite worst, but at least challenging, day of my life. I mean, come on, 21 hours of labor only to end up having a caesarian section isn’t a walk in the park by anyone’s definition. But Erin is the part of my life about which I am most proud, hands down, every day of the week. So let’s celebrate birthdays with some birthday humor, shall we?
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Signs you are getting older: you have to scroll down a lot before finding your birth year for an online form.
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What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.
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The old lady was being interviewed by reporters on the occasion of her 110th birthday. “What do you think is the reason for your long life?” one reported asked. ” She replied, “I suppose it’s because I was born such a long time ago.”
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Dear Google, Happy Birthday. You just turned 18 years old and you know so much. Thank you for helping me with my homework. Sincerely, Me.
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I guess the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you’re set on fire, and then eaten by the hero who saved you.
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Said by the young adult, “My mom’s favorite part of my birthday is describing my birth in detail to an 18-year old waitress who is just there to take our drink order.”
Hopefully I was never guilty of that! Happy Birthday Erin Green!
A winner is just a loser who tried one more time
A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.
I am positive proof of that statement.
Confession time for me: after four years of pounding the pavement/internet trying to get my books published, I seriously considered walking away. I’m not proud of that revelation, but I think after awhile, the prolonged efforts in which many of us are involved start to lose their shine, don’t they? They feel cumbersome in their fruitlessness.
Until they bear fruit.
That is the simple lesson here: nothing comes easily. Nothing. There is no such thing as overnight success or instant stardom. The instances of such anomalies are so few, they’re barely a blip on the timeline of creation.
If you want to accomplish something as much as I did – for me it was becoming a published author – you must continue on that quest. Speaking personally, if I had given up on my goal of publishing a novel inspired by my experiences as my father’s Alzheimer’s caregiver, all the research, writing, and re-writing I did might have been considered a waste of time. It was a valuable and cathartic writing experience, to be sure, but its outcome – a published novel – would have never been realized.
What a shame.
My first novel, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, was published on July 20th, 2017 and guess what? At the time, this first time published author was sixty-four years of age. Is my novel a resounding financial success? Not necessarily, but I did attain success which for me meant putting onto paper that which reflected my caregiving experiences so others might be encouraged and enlightened as a result. Family caregiving is difficult, so I figured if my novel could lessen even a few caregivers’ burdens, I will have accomplished much.
What does success mean to you? Whatever it might entail, don’t give up. I guarantee you’ll be glad you didn’t.
Irene France Olson – me! – has signed with a publisher!
I’ll let you collect yourself, calm down, and come down to earth before I go any further with my announcement …
Okay, that’s enough time. REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO is slated to most likely be published by the end of 2017, thanks to Black Rose Writing. I submitted my novel to them in October 2016, and received an e-mail on Tuesday, February 14th, stating that they feel strongly that my project will make a successful addition to their publishing house. The owner of the company further stated, “I am excited about adding an author with such high potential to the Black Rose Writing family.” I have been in contract talks with the independent publishing house the past several days, and I confidently signed with them this afternoon.
I suggest you go to their website to sign up for their newsletter to get free e-books, deals, and exclusive content. The opportunity to do so can be found at the bottom of their Home page.
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO is my first novel, inspired by the five years I spent as my father’s caregiver. Of my two completed novels, and one work-in-progress, this is the manuscript in which I have been most invested. I mean for gawd’s sake, REQUIEM is why I started on this anxiety-ridden writing journey back in December 2012.
All you writers out there know of which I speak when I say the road to publication is a pothole-filled one with Dangerous Curves, U-Turns, and Dead Ends that terminate many a writer’s quest to see their book in print.
I am pleased with all of my novels but late 2016 I recommitted myself – and redirected my energies – to getting REQUIEM published. I believe in the story and absolutely feel many current caregivers, and future caregivers, will discover themselves on the pages of the novel and realize their struggles are the struggles of many. They are not alone. Consequently they will find reason to hope, and even to laugh, when they read about Seattle, Washington’s fictional Patrick Quinn family.
So Don Patrick Desonier, this celebration centers around you, the father for whom I would embark on a caregiving journey all over again, just to have more time with you.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a bottle of tequila that’s waiting to be opened and enjoyed … it’s not gonna do it all by itself, ya’ know. I may not be available for awhile.
Living: the ultimate team sport 