The couple had reached an age where the wife thought it was time to start considering wills and funeral arrangements rather than be caught unprepared. Her husband, however, wasn’t too interested in the topic.
“Would you rather be buried or cremated?” she asked him.
There was a pause, then he replied from behind his newspaper, “Surprise me.”
Mrs. Willencot was very frugal. When her husband died, she asked the newspaper how much it would cost for a death notice.
“Two dollars for five words.”
“Can I pay for just two words?” she asked. “Willencot dead.”
“No, two dollars is the minimum. You still have three words remaining.”
Mrs. Willencot thought a moment then said, “Cadillac for sale.”
A grieving widow was discussing her late husband with a friend. “My Albert was such a good man, and I miss him so. He provided well for me with that fifty-thousand dollar insurance policy – but I would give back a thousand of it, just to have him with me again.”