Kindness Fridays
I was reminded the other day about an extraordinary kindness given to me shortly after I moved to the Seattle, Washington area with my two cats, Kate & Allie, the summer of 1994.
I moved into my Kirkland, WA apartment in July, secured a job as a paralegal early August, and on September 24, 1994, I received a Saturday phone call from my father, telling me that my mother had died in her sleep the night before.
Other than my brother and his family who lived nearby, I had very few acquaintances that early in my Washington state residency. Those who have gone through this type of emotional disruption know that while dealing with the rawness of grief, other matters require immediate attention. For me it was getting together with my brother and his wife that same day, making airline reservations to Honolulu, Hawaii – where my parents lived – and notifying business associates of our need to suspend all work activities so we could gather around our father who had just suffered the loss of his wife of forty-eight years.
There was one detail that needed attention in my household: my two cats who would be left on their own for, what turned out to be, a two week period of time. What’s a person to do?
I had seen and said hello to my upstairs neighbor and her Great Dane a few times but as yet hadn’t truly met and gotten to know her. I traipsed upstairs, knocked on her door, but she was not home.
Back downstairs I wrote a note explaining my emergent situation, asking if there was any chance she could check on my cats daily, feed them twice a day and fill their water bowls, and empty their litter box. I told her I would be home all day preparing for the next day’s departure and she could either call me or come downstairs and knock on my door. After placing the note in the crack of her door, I went downstairs to finalize my packing.
An hour later, she knocked on my door, pulled me into a hug, cried with me, and gladly offered her assistance in my time of need. I returned two weeks later to find two very healthy and happy cats in my apartment. Turns out she didn’t just perform the perfunctory feeding and litter box tasks, she played with my cats, even buying additional cat toys to entertain them on a daily basis so they would receive the love and attention I would have normally paid them.
That started a delightful friendship of going on walks, spending dinners with each other, and sharing in each other’s lives. Tragedy ushered in a kindness that greatly improved my life going forward.
I found hope in the midst of tragedy.
Lighten up Mondays
America celebrates a birthday. Time to have some fun.
*****
Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states.
One lad raised his hand and said, “Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.”
*****
Johnny: Does Europe have a 4th of July?
Josh: No.
Johnny: Yes, it does. It comes right after the 3rd of July.
*****
The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she announced. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.”
Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, “I’m not free. I’m four.”
*****
Alvin: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.
Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?
*****
Just a reminder, that fireworks look a lot better when you’re not constantly checking your iPhone.
Kindness Fridays
I’m really going in a different direction with this week’s post, so bear with me.
A person can’t live in this world without being personally offended or attacked for any number of reasons, whether founded or unfounded, countless times during the course of his life.
In this world, there exists those whose modus operandi is to criticize others, bring others down, make fun of them, even bully them. The person with that MO may have any number of “reasons” why he or she acts that way, but none of those reasons are justified, plain and simple.
What do we do when someone acts that way toward us? I know how we feel, we feel hurt and angry; we feel we must be on the defensive and maybe we even want to dish out the same pain, or worse, than what was inflicted on us. A defensive action, however, turns us into someone no better than the person who lashed out at us; we join their ranks.
When an unkindness is said or done to us, the higher road is to not respond in kind. By that I mean maybe it’s better we don’t go on the defensive, we don’t fight fire with fire. Oh, let me tell you, the base part of our character wants to let loose with our own brand of meanness, but each and every one of us has the ability to choose a contrary response. Each. And. Every. One. Of. Us.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you lavish the offender with peace, love, and happiness – there are very few of us who could pull that off – but what I am saying is that we can choose to stay silent. We can walk away – both figuratively and physically – and leave that person to wallow in the slime they just created.
I learned long ago, that if someone yells at me and I choose not to yell back, their fire goes out. If I don’t feed their anger, it has nowhere to go but down. Quite frankly, my decision to walk away hurts that person far worse than any words I could ever spew back. I guess sometimes you just have to kill them with kindness.
Just. Walk. Away.
Writing to make a difference, one person at a time
First and foremost, I sat down at my computer because I had something to say about how Alzheimer’s disease affected my father. Additionally, having graduated from the unofficial school of family caregiving, I figured someone just might benefit from the good – and the not-so-good – ways in which I managed my father’s illness.
Now thirteen years after my father’s initial Alzheimer’s diagnosis, my novel will hit the virtual and brick & mortar shelves of bookstores. It will also make its way in person to a number of senior centers and senior living communities in my area. As an event on their activity calendars, I will read passages from my novel that might just ring a bell in the minds and hearts of those gathered to listen to what this Baby Boomer has to say. Maybe what I share will inspire them to purchase REQUIEM which I will gladly sell to them at a highly-discounted price. And once they’ve read my novel, perhaps they will share it with someone else, and so on down the line.
Is REQUIEM about Irene Frances Olson and her father, Don Patrick Desonier? Read the rest of this entry »
Lighten up Mondays
I can’t NOT provide humor about the hot weather being experienced country-wide, and globally this summer.
*****
The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime to enjoy the hot days, spending nights with my friends—generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by.
Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career.
“Well,” he replied, “you better start thinking about it. You’ll be thirty before you know it.”
“But I’m closer to twenty than to thirty,” I protested. “I won’t be thirty for eight more years.”
“I see,” he said, smiling. “And when will you be twenty again?”
*****
You know it’s hot when:
- You can make instant sun tea.
- You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
- The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
- You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
- You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
- Hot water now comes out of both taps.
- It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
Kindness Fridays
For some, this may seem a trivial expression of kindness. For me, not so much.
When my husband and I aren’t hiking, we “hike” through the streets of our very hilly neighborhood. We have various walks that we take:
- The Wall – a very steep incline in a short period of time
- The Monster – a very steep incline over a longer stretch of time
- The Broadhurst (or Reverse Broadhurst) – a longer walk in an adjacent neighborhood, and
- The Broadhurst Monster – a steep hill in that same neighborhood
While on our walks, I lift up my hand in greeting to everyone who drives by, and without fail, the driver always returns the gesture. Sometimes the occupant in the car gives me a hand greeting before I can even lift my arm to do so.
“Yeah, but Irene, that’s not a very deep connection with someone; it’s just a throw-away gesture.”
Not to me it isn’t. It’s one way of connecting with people I might never meet. And besides, maybe the “hello” affects them just as positively as it affects me. What a great and simple gift that is.
My Alzheimer’s family caregiving journey
I had the privilege of being my father’s caregiver during his multi-year struggle with Alzheimer’s disease that ended with his death in 2007. Five years after his death, I started writing my debut novel, Requiem for the status quo, to be released by an independent publisher, Black Rose Writing, on July 20th. And now five years since I started my novel, Requiem will be available to everyone in less than 30 days. My debut novel was inspired by my father’s and my caregiving journey and is dedicated to the man whose later years was robbed by a disease that is always fatal. The book’s dedication reads: Dedicated to my father, Don Patrick Desonier, who wore his disease with the dignity it did not deserve.
I am in the very distinct and healthy position of understanding that realistically, as a debut author I cannot hope to be an instant and resounding financial success. But that’s okay, because for me it has never been about the money, but very much about helping those who are experiencing or have experienced an Alzheimer’s caregiving journey similar to mine. For that reason, most of my “book tour” will encompass senior centers in the region, as well as senior living residential communities where I hope to hold readings and sell my novel to seniors at a highly-discounted price. I know it is said that when trying to fill an auditorium, it’s all about getting butts in seats, but for me, it’s about getting books into laps.
And that’s what I’m going to do.
Requiem for the status quo is currently available for preorder at Black Rose Writing, enter discount code PREORDER2017 before July 20th for a 10% discount. You can also preorder Requiem at Barnes & Noble right now, and Amazon will be providing preorder opportunities in the days ahead. And for those of you with eReaders, the eBook will be available at most online book retailers on, or about, July 27th.
Lighten up Mondays
Father’s Day was celebrated in some countries yesterday. Here is some humor centered around the dad in the home.
My dad was waterskiing when he fell into the river. As the boat circled to pick him up, he noticed a hunter sitting in a duck boat in the reeds. My husband put his hands in the air and joked, “Don’t shoot!”
The hunter responded, “Don’t quack.”
*****
I’ve been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get a job there.
Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”
“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.”
*****
The biggest change after having kids was putting a swear jar in the house. Whenever I say a bad word, I have to put a dollar in the jar, and at the end of every month, I take all that money and buy myself a nice steak for being such a cool dad.
*****
“Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” I asked my friend.
“He wants to be a garbageman,” he replied.
“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”
“Not really, he thinks garbagemen only work on Tuesdays.”
Kindness Fridays
Today’s musing takes a different turn. The focus of today’s kindness relates to my daughter Erin’s never-ending, no-holds-barred editing offerings for all things having to do with the upcoming July 20th release of my novel, Requiem for the status quo.
Erin has been one of the most consistent editors of my work and what I appreciate so much about her input is that regardless of how much she loves and adores me – and she does – she is 100% honest in her comments about my writing. I always know, without a doubt, that when she criticizes/critiques me, she is doing so out of love.
Erin wants me to succeed because she knows this project means so much to me.
In preparation for my July 29th book signing at the Northwest Book Festival in Portland, Oregon, I designed a bi-fold brochure to hand out to attendees, a brochure that introduces my book and its primary characters to those who will be browsing through the many booths and literary offerings at the festival. They may not be ready to purchase my novel right then and there, but they’ll take the brochure with them and perhaps from the comfort of their living room, will decide to order, or purchase, the book from their favorite book seller.
Erin read through my brochure with a well-tuned eye and came up with several corrections and suggestions that absolutely rendered it a far better marketing effort than it was when I deemed it perfect and ready for printing. She has a keen, literary eye on which I have relied since I started writing my novel on December 29th, 2012.
My daughter leads a very busy life, so her consistently kind contributions to my writing success mean the world to me. That is why, and for so very many other reasons, I celebrate Erin’s gift of editorial kindness that keeps on giving.
Caregiving 101: when fiction meets reality
I’ve written several articles over the years about the importance of assembling a caregiving team when caring for a loved one – a team that doesn’t necessarily rely on family because not everyone has a participatory family when it comes to these matters. That was certainly the case for REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO‘s Colleen Strand while taking care of her father, Patrick Quinn. She sought help from her brother but that was not something with which he chose to be involved.
REQUIEM, my debut novel, is now available for pre-order from my publisher, Black Rose Writing. You will receive a 10% discount with code PREORDER2017 if purchased before its release date of July 20th. Additionally, in the days ahead, both Amazon and Barnes & Noble will be offering a pre-order option leading up to the novel’s release. Ebook options will be available at most online book retailers as of July 27th.
Of all the life-changes we encounter during our journey, caregiving is one of – if not the most – difficult speed bumps to get over.
Caregiving: the ultimate team sport suggests how one might use the strengths of each team/family member to handle the varied needs during the caregiving journey.
Family dynamics that hamper caregiving success exposes the need to let go of stereotypes or childhood roles that don’t serve siblings well as adults. If ever there was a time to work together for the greater good, taking care of a family member with dementia or other terminal illness ranks right up there at the top.
Solo caregiving addresses the needs of the person who appears to be strapped with fulfilling all the roles needed for a successful caregiving venture. The solo caregiver need not settle into those roles, however. The help of other, well-meaning individuals, can lessen that daunting task. Certainly, much relies on the neighbor, coworker, even casual acquaintance, but said entities are a resource from which much assistance can be found.
Here are several more articles for the caregivers out there – and those acquainted with a caregiver – to provide some wisdom and encouragement through the tough times:
- The tethered caregiver
- Helping an Alzheimer’s caregiver
- Caregiving and the 36-hour day
- A normal day, caregiving style
- Caregiving: grief, guilt, exhaustion, and discrimination
- Long distance caregiving Part I and Part II
- Caregiver: put on your oxygen mask first
- Caregivers, learning from our mistakes and finally
- But how am I supposed to do that?
Lighten up Mondays
At the end of the school year, most of the focus is on the kids; that they are freed from the prison called school. Well, I have two children who are teachers, my stepdaughter, Kirstin, and my son-in-law, Kirby. Today’s funny is all about the teachers. I hope you’ll enjoy.
Teacher: “Craig, you know you can’t sleep in my class.”
Craig: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”
*****
Teachers deserve a lot of credit. Of course, if we paid them more, they wouldn’t need it.
*****
Student: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not
Student: Good, because I didn’t do my homework.
*****
The little boy wasn’t getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said …”I don’t want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don’t get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking.”
*****
And finally…for me, it’s as though it was just yesterday that I experienced this one:
Kindness Fridays
Kindness abounds, I’m happy to say. Along with kindness comes encouragement. Each Monday on my author website, I offer words of encouragement at the bottom of each page titled Readers Corner. This week’s words are as follows:
We can begin by doing small things at the local level, like planting community gardens or looking out for our neighbors.
That is how change takes place in living systems – not from above – but from within, from many local actions occurring simultaneously. – Grace Lee Boggs
A couple family members and I talked about this very thing this past Monday. Ed stated, and I paraphrase, “That which is needed to make the world a better place doesn’t come from above, from the powers that be. It is each of us who hold that power.”
I concurred. We are not charged with helping the entire world, we are only responsible for our minuscule corner of that world. The important thing is to make some sort of difference – actually change something. Not the entire world, just the little bit around you.
Do something. That’s all that is required.
Lighten up Mondays
Tomorrow I’ll be installing a new modem/router on our home computer. I feel fairly confident, but one never knows what mischief I could get into in the process. Here is some computer/technology humor in preparation for my endeavor.
On email addresses:
- I’m employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is M. Alware. His e-mail address is malware@company.com.
- My ex-boss’s name is R. Stone. His e-mail was stoner@company.co.in.
- My name is James Pan. Every other permutation of my name was taken (e.g., jpan, jamesp), so I’m stuck with japan@university.edu.
On giving out to much information, the TMI syndrome:
I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two police officers and a psychiatrist.
On getting caught red-handed:
Jimmy Fallon asked his viewers to tweet #IGotBusted and share the most embarrassing times they got caught.
“I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. I slammed down what I thought was my laptop screen, but it was actually my desktop monitor.”
“I lied and told my dad school was canceled. He said, ‘Let’s go see a movie.’ We got in the car, and he dropped me off at school.”
“I was Facebooking in church, and the usher passed by and whispered, ‘You better be texting Jesus.’”
A cheerleader in your corner
I’ve completely redesigned my author website Irene Frances Olson and have revealed the cover for my novel, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO.
As part of the new look for my author site, I’ve added a few new features. One of those features is a Countdown Clock for upcoming events, located at the bottom of each webpage. Another new feature, Reader’s Corner, focuses on you.
My professional bio indicates:
“Ms. Olson’s writing quest [is to] open readers’ eyes while ushering support into each reader’s corner. And who couldn’t use a little more help now and then?”
Those aren’t empty words. My writing will always contain words of encouragement and support to those faced with the speed bumps life lays out before them. Each Monday a new feature will provide thoughtful words that will place me smack-dab in your corner as your cheerleader and greatest fan.
Reader’s Corner appears at the bottom right-hand side of each page, next to the Countdown Clock and Latest News. To cut down on email updates my readers receive, I will not send a notification of each week’s words of encouragement but I do hope you’ll visit my author site every Monday for some inspiration that just might lighten up your day.
Kindness Fridays
Today’s kindness focuses on customer service – not at retail establishments but at medical offices. And I’ll be brief.
On May 17th of this year, I had a surgical consult for a nasty, invasive skin cancer that decided to make itself known on my right leg. On May 19th, I had surgery to remove that skin cancer.
I then had two subsequent post-surgical visits, May 25th and June 1st, with the latter being my final visit (knock on wood) at the Skin Surgery Center in Bellevue, Washington.
Right before I left I said good-bye to the front desk person, Ashley, and quite truthfully told her, “I’m going to miss you!”
Ashley made my cancer journey – and no doubt those of many of the center’s patients – one that felt less clinical, and more restorative. She always greeted me by my first name, recognizing me among so many that pass through the doors of the surgery center. She also remembered something important about my life – important to me anyway – and brought it up as I left.
“Enjoy your hiking this summer!”
Big deal, right? Yes, it was, because of all the things that bothered me about my cancer, it was not being able to hike that I bemoaned the most. Her farewell greeting put the biggest smile on my face because I was cleared to hit the trails once again, and she was celebrating my ability to do so.
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO: cover reveal
Very, very soon, when you again visit my author website, http://www.irenefrancesolson.com, you’ll get a sneak peek of my novel’s cover. Additionally, in honor of my cover reveal, you’ll see a completely remodeled site. I’m not kidding, it looks nothing like the original version. I mean, you’ll probably think you’ve landed elsewhere instead of at Irene Frances Olson’s site.
It’s so mind-boggling to realize that in seven weeks, my debut novel will be published and available for purchase. It’s been a long road, but it is quickly leading to publication of my debut novel.
Thank you for joining me on this journey.
Lighten up Mondays
Schools are getting closer and closer to getting out for summer. Here are some scholarly jokes for your enjoyment.
Just before the final exam in my college finance class, a less-than-stellar student approached me.
“Can you tell me what grade I would need to get on the exam to pass the course?” he asked.
I gave him the bad news. “The exam is worth 100 points. You would need 113 points to earn a D.”
“OK,” he said. “And how many points would I need to get a C?”
*****
One hard thing to explain to teens is how legitimately exciting it used to be when someone would wheel in an overhead projector.
*****
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her second-grade student.
“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” he answered.
“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”
“Yes,” said the boy. “It means
carrying a child.”
*****
Question on second-grade math quiz: “Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice. Emily drank more. Explain.”
My grandson’s answer: “She was more thirsty.”
*****
Interviewing a college applicant, the dean of admissions asks, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The student thinks it over, then answers, “The living one.”
Kindness Fridays
Being kind is taking a stand. By itself, it might not help: maybe our kindness will be ineffective. The money we sent to alleviate hunger might be unwisely used. Helping an old lady cross the road does not eliminate poverty in a faraway country. And for every plastic bottle we pick up on the beach, another ten will be tossed down tomorrow.
Never mind. We have affirmed a principle, a way of being.
Microcosm is macrocosm: Each person is the whole world.
As many mystics and visionaries have pointed out, each individual, in some subtle and mysterious way, embodies all people.
If we can bring some relief and well-being to just one person’s life, this is already a victory, a silent, humble response to the suffering and pain of the planet.
This is the starting point.
Today’s Kindness Friday comes directly from the book, The Power of Kindness – The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life, by Piero Ferrucci.
Why you should own a copy of REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO
REASON ONE: You don’t have to know someone with Alzheimer’s disease to benefit from this novel. Let’s face it, when you pick up a novel wherein cancer, murder, courtroom drama, homelessness, financial devastation, or horror are part of the storyline, you don’t put down the book because none of those issues have personally affected you. I mean, when was the last time you picked up a Steven King novel and said, “Man, this is totally irrelevant to me, I’ve never been terrorized by a car named Christine, nor have I ever attended a prom where a girl named Carrie exercised her supernatural powers to ruin the evening for most everyone in attendance.” And even though no one – as of yet – has ever lived Under the Dome, you would still be glued to the pages of that novel (not so much the TV version) to discern how it would all turn out.
When you pick up a novel, you find yourself getting involved with the characters. While you’re wondering how the book may end, you read on to find out what’s going to happen next. Or maybe your eyes are opened about matters for which you previously knew very little and then you can’t wait to see where the storyline leads you. REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO satisfies all of those curiosities.
REASON TWO: You do know someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia – whether tangentially or intimately. You might be hesitant to read yet another technical treatise or article about the devastating effects of the condition, but you still want to learn more while being entertained at the same time. Did I say a novel about Alzheimer’s can be entertaining? Yes, and I’ll tell you why. The definition of entertainment isn’t just giggles and laughs – as Steven King’s novels clearly demonstrate. According to Merriam Webster, entertainment is also something diverting or engaging. Without a doubt readers will be engaged in the story of the Quinn family from page one when the patriarch of the family, Patrick, finds himself in a very inconvenient situation while stranded on an extraordinarily busy freeway in Seattle, Washington. And you will cheer for Patrick’s daughter, Colleen, as she struggles to redefine normalcy while craving even one minute of status quo. And believe or not, you will find humor in some of the least desirable circumstances faced by a variety of characters who are members of “Club Alzheimer’s.”
REASON THREE: You read Still Alice, by Lisa Genova – maybe you even saw the movie – and you became very sympathetic to those who have faced, are facing, and will face the ravages that Alzheimer’s disease has on families such as yours and mine. And if you were fortunate, you also read the memoir, Her Beautiful Brain, Ann Hedreen’s account of the challenges she faced raising a young family and caring for a mother who was “lost in the wilderness of an unpredictable and harrowing illness.” There is much to be gained by reading various genres on the subject, and quite frankly, not enough is being published in the fiction and memoir genres.
As of this writing, there are more than 5 million people in the United States with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, and worldwide, more than 44 million suffer with the disease. Alzheimer’s disease is not going away. The more awareness and compassion we possess, the more capable we will be of helping ourselves, and others, through this protracted disease journey.
MARK YOUR CALENDARS …
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO a Black Rose Writing release, will be available July 20th, 2017.
Lighten up Mondays
I celebrated my birthday last week, an event that really doesn’t bother me. There are those who aren’t quite enamored with getting older. Here’s some humor for you:
Rock stars used to say, “Don’t trust anyone over 30!”
Now that many of them are over 50 they say, “Oops, we didn’t mean us.”
***
You Know Your Old When:
- You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
- People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
- You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
- The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style… come back in style.
- Things you buy now won’t wear out.
- You sing along with the elevator music.
- You wear black socks with sandals.
- You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
- When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.
Stop Doing That: reblogged
We need to treat our time on this earth as more valuable than we are currently doing. TIME is fleeting, please believe that fact.
COMPLAINING does nothing toward changing that which upsets us . . . when was the last time your screaming at traffic helped the situation? We’ll never get back the time we’ve spent doing worthless and unproductive things.
And above all else, we need to spend more time being kind to ourselves, and to others. Time spent being kind will multiply itself exponentially. Try it, you’ll agree.
All through our lives, we have to do stuff we really don’t want to do.
We all pay bills and taxes, and that really sucks. I wish my Grandma was here with her little change purse, giving me a quarter right now.
We all obey laws – stopping at red lights and picking up dog poop – although not at the same time of course.
We also obey people that we don’t necessarily agree with or respect. I have several bosses that come to mind right now. There are lots of people in the world telling us what to do all our lives and we just grit our teeth and get it done.
Most of us have worked at jobs we hated at some point in our lives – and we stuck it out because of the economy or other pressures. Lack of options is the nastiest boss of all.
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Kindness Fridays
For years now, I’ve practiced the habit of celebrating even the smallest of victories that come my way. The more aware I am of something that goes right, or of something that brings joy to my life, the more celebrations I get to enjoy.
Tuesday of this week saw me hustling and bustling around town getting various errands accomplished and even though my adrenaline was at a high level, I still could use some help. While at my local grocery store I purchased a Diet Pepsi in a screw bottle and got in my car to continue the remainder of my day’s tasks.
Except I couldn’t open the Pepsi bottle. After several valiant attempts to unscrew the top, I stopped just short of shredding the skin on the inside of my hand. I’m pretty sure the bottle top machine in the factory needs to be adjusted a bit so the consumer can enjoy their beverage right away instead of having to bulk up one’s upper body before attempting access.
Next stop was to fill up my Corolla with gas; that’s when I saw my opportunity. I approached a young man in the commercial truck behind me at the pump and asked if he could please unscrew the top of my Pepsi because, “that caffeine ain’t gonna get in my body any other way.” With a smile on his face, he gladly fulfilled my request which then put a smile on my face.
Kindness doesn’t have to be earth shattering to make a difference – it can be as simple as helping a caffeine-starved person get their fix.
Lighten up Mondays
Time for some humor at the expense of mothers everywhere: texting acronyms.
Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
Son: Why is that funny?
Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.
***
Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
Mom: WTF!
Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well That’s Fantastic?
***
Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.
***
Tweets from a Jimmy Fallon episode:
I once got a text from my mom where “You’re amazing” autocorrected to “You’re adopted.”
@StefenColalillo
On Valentiine’s Day last year, my mom texted me, “Enjoy your VD.” Not the best time to
abbreviate, Mom.
@HollyLouHarris
My mom once texted me “can you come over, I want you to take a selfie of me.”
@stefaniLegs
Kindness Fridays
Today’s installment combines two passions of mine: kindness and hiking.
Since my husband’s retirement in April of 2016, we’ve managed to hike every week except during the winter months. Now with the snow a distant memory on most of the Pacific Northwest trails, we’re well into this year’s hiking season.
On Tuesday of this week, we headed out to Barclay Lake located in the lower Stevens Pass area of western Washington. This was a new hike for me and one perfectly suited for a sprained right foot, mine, needing a bit of coddling while on its healing journey. The hike was just under 5 miles and only had an elevation gain of 500 feet.
About two miles into our hike and a half mile from the lake, a couple in their late 60s were making their descent and as I always do for every hiker we meet on the trail, I greeted the man and woman which then encouraged them to pause and spend some time with us. This couple hiked 30 times last year – to our 18 times – which seriously encouraged me to continue our hiking activities during the winter season, albeit on trails at lower elevations to avoid snow encounters along the way. The kindness extended was the mutual sharing of favorite hiking destinations: for us, it was Margaret Lake, for them, Bowen Bay.
The excitement from each couple describing their particular trail favorite created a commonality of experience that went beyond any differences we may harbor within ourselves, be they political, religious, life experience, or otherwise. The four of us agreed that being out in nature and accomplishing our individual hiking goals contributed greatly to our quality of life.
On the trail, differences in beliefs or political leanings simply don’t come into play. And that, my friends, is a glorious way to experience kindness.
The Alzheimer’s caregiver: NOT a fictional character
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, to be released July 2017, contains fictional characters right out of yours and my reality. If your life hasn’t been impacted by caregiving for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, you are at least tangentially connected to someone who has been.
- A parent’s senior moments transform into hair-raising episodes of wandering and getting lost at all hours of the day and night during varied seasonal temperatures that may very well threaten their lives.
- The husband who was Mr. Fixit for all home repairs, big and small, no longer knows how to use a screwdriver, and becomes combative when challenged.
- A sister’s successful writing career is derailed when she can no longer write coherently or understand the written word.
- The middle-aged next door neighbor pounds on your front door demanding entry to his home and threatens to call the authorities if you don’t immediately vacate the premises.
Variations of these scenarios abound, and within those story-like confines exist the caregivers who have been thrust into a role for which they were not prepared, derailing their status quo – their normalcy – beyond recognition. These same caregivers had very full lives before their days became what has become the caregiver’s 36-Hour Day. Any down time they enjoyed prior to stepping into their ill-fitting caregiver shoes has been filled with doctors’ appointments, loved one-sitting, and putting out fires. Carefully crafted family and retirement plans are no longer feasible because life as the caregiver once knew it no longer exists.
REQUIEM will give readers an intimate look at a caregiver’s day-to-day reality while also endeavoring to provide hope for what lies ahead. To be sure, there are no happy endings, but promises of resolution and lightness spring forth in the least likely of places and during some of the most awkward of times. Whether you are a caregiver, a former caregiver, or know someone who is, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO will become a most cherished and often-read bookshelf addition.
Lighten up Mondays
Time for a play on words on food.
- What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? (soy = “I am”)
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you can’t drink here!” The mushroom says, “Why not, I’m a Fun-gi!”
- I entered what I ate today in my new smartphone fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
- Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough.
- I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
- Interviewer: “Why do you want this job?” Me: “I’ve always been very passionate about not starving to death.”
- People are a lot less judgy when you say you ate an avocado salad instead of a bowl of guacamole.
- Subway is the healthiest fast-food out there because they make you get out of the car to get it.
- On a first date: It probably looks like I’m listening to your story, but I’m really thinking, “Close your menu or the waiter will never come over!”
I hope your week gives you something to laugh about at least once a day.
Wearing It
I like Nancy’s take on labels. In this instance, labels seem to be a darn good thing. Thanks, Nancy, for this fresh insight.
Last night, just as we were falling asleep, my husband drowsily remembered a conversation he had earlier in the day.
“Oh,” he murmured, “I talked to that guy from the committee.”
“Which guy?” I asked.
“You know… That guy… He wears a limp.”
My husband was only semi-conscious and that probably explains his weird phrasing.
But I kind of liked it.
The man wears a limp.
A limp as something you wear.
Think about the control that gives the man over his limp.
He owns that limp. It doesn’t own him.
It makes me want to think about other conditions that we experience as something we wear. How differently we might consider our issues, problems – our very bodies – if they are just Something We Wear.
We could wear our health:
“She wears some arthritis in her fingers.”
“She’s wearing her third pregnancy.”
“She wears a stroke on…
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Kindness Fridays
My sister, Mary Riesche, has gone out of her way to follow all of my social media posts – including those relating to my upcoming book publication, Requiem for the Status Quo, which will be published by Black Rose Writing the third week of July.
You might be saying, “Yeah, who cares? What would you expect of a family member – and besides, social media is so easy to follow!”
My sister, an artist in her own right, is one of the most creative people I know. Her entire life has been spent developing her craft and that dedication has paid off with gallery showings in California wherein she earned various juried awards.
But my beautiful sister isn’t a computer-oriented person. This is not news to anyone who knows her, and it’s not news to Mary. But she has gone out of her way to support my publication efforts by boosting my posts and bragging about me to others through those boosts. Mary never goes onto an actual desktop or laptop computer, she only uses her smartphone, and most of her “writing” is via voice control, not typing.
It means so much to me that my sister extends the love she has for me through her social media kindness – regardless of how cumbersome it sometimes is for her. Her acts of kindness warm my heart and make me feel like a valid, almost-published author.
It’s a darn good feeling. Thank you, Mary.
See also: Mary Riesche: artist and sister extraordinaire, Art worth viewing: spotlight on Mary Riesche
You can’t tell a book by its cover …
Or can you?
Doing some marketing research. Very briefly, I’d like to receive your opinion on which of the following photos would attract you to a novel about the affects of Alzheimer’s disease on the person with the disease and the loved ones caring for that person with the disease. The photos aren’t meant to be literal, rather, an imagery that might illustrate the struggle inherent with the disease.
If you’ll first read the mini-synopsis of my novel Requiem for the Status Quo found on my author website’s Home page, and then study these two photos, I’d appreciate knowing your choice of photo, and why. Thanks so much.
Choice Number One:
Choice Number Two: 
Lighten up Mondays
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He stealthily crept through the living room and was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a loud voice clearly saying, “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house so the burglar crept forward again.
“Jesus is watching you,” the voice rang out again.
The thief stopped again, he was frightened out of his wits. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner he spotted a parrot in a birdcage.
He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes,” said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a heavy sigh of relief and asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”
“Ronald,” said the bird.
“That’s a stupid name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Ronald?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Living: the ultimate team sport 