Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on June 5, 2017 Updated on June 4, 2017

Tomorrow I’ll be installing a new modem/router on our home computer. I feel fairly confident, but one never knows what mischief I could get into in the process. Here is some computer/technology humor in preparation for my endeavor.

On email addresses:

• I’m employed at a computer security company and have a colleague whose name is M. Alware. His e-mail address is malware@company.com.
• My ex-boss’s name is R. Stone. His e-mail was stoner@company.co.in.
• My name is James Pan. Every other permutation of my name was taken (e.g., jpan, jamesp), so I’m stuck with japan@university.edu.

On giving out to much information, the TMI syndrome:

I’ve given up social media for the New Year and am trying to make friends outside Facebook while 
applying the same principles. Every day, I walk down the street and tell passersby what I’ve eaten, how I feel, what I did the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then I give them pictures of my family, my dog, and me gardening. I also listen to their conversations and tell them I love them. And it works. I already have three people following me—two 
police officers and a psychiatrist.

On getting caught red-handed:

Jimmy Fallon asked his viewers to tweet #IGotBusted and share 
the most embarrassing times they got caught.

“I was on Facebook at work, and my boss walked up. I slammed down what I thought was my laptop screen, but it was actually my desktop 
monitor.”

“I lied and told my dad school 
was canceled. He said, ‘Let’s go see 
a movie.’ We got in the car, and he dropped me off at school.”

“I was Facebooking in church, and the usher passed by and whispered, ‘You better be texting Jesus.’”