Kindness Fridays
For years now, I’ve practiced the habit of celebrating even the smallest of victories that come my way. The more aware I am of something that goes right, or of something that brings joy to my life, the more celebrations I get to enjoy.
Tuesday of this week saw me hustling and bustling around town getting various errands accomplished and even though my adrenaline was at a high level, I still could use some help. While at my local grocery store I purchased a Diet Pepsi in a screw bottle and got in my car to continue the remainder of my day’s tasks.
Except I couldn’t open the Pepsi bottle. After several valiant attempts to unscrew the top, I stopped just short of shredding the skin on the inside of my hand. I’m pretty sure the bottle top machine in the factory needs to be adjusted a bit so the consumer can enjoy their beverage right away instead of having to bulk up one’s upper body before attempting access.
Next stop was to fill up my Corolla with gas; that’s when I saw my opportunity. I approached a young man in the commercial truck behind me at the pump and asked if he could please unscrew the top of my Pepsi because, “that caffeine ain’t gonna get in my body any other way.” With a smile on his face, he gladly fulfilled my request which then put a smile on my face.
Kindness doesn’t have to be earth shattering to make a difference – it can be as simple as helping a caffeine-starved person get their fix.
Lighten up Mondays
Time for some humor at the expense of mothers everywhere: texting acronyms.
Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL.
Son: Why is that funny?
Mom: It’s not funny, David! What do you mean?
Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud.
Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back.
***
Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry.
Mom: WTF!
Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means?
Mom: Well That’s Fantastic?
***
Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean?
Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.
Mom: OK, I will ask your sister.
***
Tweets from a Jimmy Fallon episode:
I once got a text from my mom where “You’re amazing” autocorrected to “You’re adopted.”
@StefenColalillo
On Valentiine’s Day last year, my mom texted me, “Enjoy your VD.” Not the best time to
abbreviate, Mom.
@HollyLouHarris
My mom once texted me “can you come over, I want you to take a selfie of me.”
@stefaniLegs
Kindness Fridays
Today’s installment combines two passions of mine: kindness and hiking.
Since my husband’s retirement in April of 2016, we’ve managed to hike every week except during the winter months. Now with the snow a distant memory on most of the Pacific Northwest trails, we’re well into this year’s hiking season.
On Tuesday of this week, we headed out to Barclay Lake located in the lower Stevens Pass area of western Washington. This was a new hike for me and one perfectly suited for a sprained right foot, mine, needing a bit of coddling while on its healing journey. The hike was just under 5 miles and only had an elevation gain of 500 feet.
About two miles into our hike and a half mile from the lake, a couple in their late 60s were making their descent and as I always do for every hiker we meet on the trail, I greeted the man and woman which then encouraged them to pause and spend some time with us. This couple hiked 30 times last year – to our 18 times – which seriously encouraged me to continue our hiking activities during the winter season, albeit on trails at lower elevations to avoid snow encounters along the way. The kindness extended was the mutual sharing of favorite hiking destinations: for us, it was Margaret Lake, for them, Bowen Bay.
The excitement from each couple describing their particular trail favorite created a commonality of experience that went beyond any differences we may harbor within ourselves, be they political, religious, life experience, or otherwise. The four of us agreed that being out in nature and accomplishing our individual hiking goals contributed greatly to our quality of life.
On the trail, differences in beliefs or political leanings simply don’t come into play. And that, my friends, is a glorious way to experience kindness.
The Alzheimer’s caregiver: NOT a fictional character
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, to be released July 2017, contains fictional characters right out of yours and my reality. If your life hasn’t been impacted by caregiving for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, you are at least tangentially connected to someone who has been.
- A parent’s senior moments transform into hair-raising episodes of wandering and getting lost at all hours of the day and night during varied seasonal temperatures that may very well threaten their lives.
- The husband who was Mr. Fixit for all home repairs, big and small, no longer knows how to use a screwdriver, and becomes combative when challenged.
- A sister’s successful writing career is derailed when she can no longer write coherently or understand the written word.
- The middle-aged next door neighbor pounds on your front door demanding entry to his home and threatens to call the authorities if you don’t immediately vacate the premises.
Variations of these scenarios abound, and within those story-like confines exist the caregivers who have been thrust into a role for which they were not prepared, derailing their status quo – their normalcy – beyond recognition. These same caregivers had very full lives before their days became what has become the caregiver’s 36-Hour Day. Any down time they enjoyed prior to stepping into their ill-fitting caregiver shoes has been filled with doctors’ appointments, loved one-sitting, and putting out fires. Carefully crafted family and retirement plans are no longer feasible because life as the caregiver once knew it no longer exists.
REQUIEM will give readers an intimate look at a caregiver’s day-to-day reality while also endeavoring to provide hope for what lies ahead. To be sure, there are no happy endings, but promises of resolution and lightness spring forth in the least likely of places and during some of the most awkward of times. Whether you are a caregiver, a former caregiver, or know someone who is, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO will become a most cherished and often-read bookshelf addition.
Lighten up Mondays
Time for a play on words on food.
- What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? (soy = “I am”)
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.
- A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you can’t drink here!” The mushroom says, “Why not, I’m a Fun-gi!”
- I entered what I ate today in my new smartphone fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
- Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough.
- I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
- Interviewer: “Why do you want this job?” Me: “I’ve always been very passionate about not starving to death.”
- People are a lot less judgy when you say you ate an avocado salad instead of a bowl of guacamole.
- Subway is the healthiest fast-food out there because they make you get out of the car to get it.
- On a first date: It probably looks like I’m listening to your story, but I’m really thinking, “Close your menu or the waiter will never come over!”
I hope your week gives you something to laugh about at least once a day.
Wearing It
I like Nancy’s take on labels. In this instance, labels seem to be a darn good thing. Thanks, Nancy, for this fresh insight.
Last night, just as we were falling asleep, my husband drowsily remembered a conversation he had earlier in the day.
“Oh,” he murmured, “I talked to that guy from the committee.”
“Which guy?” I asked.
“You know… That guy… He wears a limp.”
My husband was only semi-conscious and that probably explains his weird phrasing.
But I kind of liked it.
The man wears a limp.
A limp as something you wear.
Think about the control that gives the man over his limp.
He owns that limp. It doesn’t own him.
It makes me want to think about other conditions that we experience as something we wear. How differently we might consider our issues, problems – our very bodies – if they are just Something We Wear.
We could wear our health:
“She wears some arthritis in her fingers.”
“She’s wearing her third pregnancy.”
“She wears a stroke on…
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Kindness Fridays
My sister, Mary Riesche, has gone out of her way to follow all of my social media posts – including those relating to my upcoming book publication, Requiem for the Status Quo, which will be published by Black Rose Writing the third week of July.
You might be saying, “Yeah, who cares? What would you expect of a family member – and besides, social media is so easy to follow!”
My sister, an artist in her own right, is one of the most creative people I know. Her entire life has been spent developing her craft and that dedication has paid off with gallery showings in California wherein she earned various juried awards.
But my beautiful sister isn’t a computer-oriented person. This is not news to anyone who knows her, and it’s not news to Mary. But she has gone out of her way to support my publication efforts by boosting my posts and bragging about me to others through those boosts. Mary never goes onto an actual desktop or laptop computer, she only uses her smartphone, and most of her “writing” is via voice control, not typing.
It means so much to me that my sister extends the love she has for me through her social media kindness – regardless of how cumbersome it sometimes is for her. Her acts of kindness warm my heart and make me feel like a valid, almost-published author.
It’s a darn good feeling. Thank you, Mary.
See also: Mary Riesche: artist and sister extraordinaire, Art worth viewing: spotlight on Mary Riesche
You can’t tell a book by its cover …
Or can you?
Doing some marketing research. Very briefly, I’d like to receive your opinion on which of the following photos would attract you to a novel about the affects of Alzheimer’s disease on the person with the disease and the loved ones caring for that person with the disease. The photos aren’t meant to be literal, rather, an imagery that might illustrate the struggle inherent with the disease.
If you’ll first read the mini-synopsis of my novel Requiem for the Status Quo found on my author website’s Home page, and then study these two photos, I’d appreciate knowing your choice of photo, and why. Thanks so much.
Choice Number One:
Choice Number Two: 
Lighten up Mondays
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He stealthily crept through the living room and was stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a loud voice clearly saying, “Jesus is watching you!”
Silence returned to the house so the burglar crept forward again.
“Jesus is watching you,” the voice rang out again.
The thief stopped again, he was frightened out of his wits. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner he spotted a parrot in a birdcage.
He asked the parrot, “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”
“Yes,” said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a heavy sigh of relief and asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”
“Ronald,” said the bird.
“That’s a stupid name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Ronald?”
The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”
Kindness Fridays
Is it possible to receive kindness from nature? Yes, it certainly is.
Earlier this week I was headed to my twice a year dental appointment and to be honest with you, my mood at the time was extraordinarily melancholic. Maybe you’re familiar with that feeling?
If you’ve ever experienced periods in your life when your body complains a bit louder than usual and everything you try to accomplish feels like a major undertaking, then I’m talking to the right crowd.
That was my state as I stepped out of my vehicle and made my way through the parking lot to the dental office’s front door. I was limping – one reason for my crummy mood – and paying close attention to each step I took so I didn’t add insult to injury by further harming my right sprained foot.
As I turned the corner and stepped onto the sidewalk, I looked up. It was a good thing I did because a natural kindness was extended to me of magnificent proportions, a kindness that instantly elicited a smile resultant from the beauty that it offered.
A cluster of red Azaleas dragged me out of my funk.
And that, my friends, is this week’s Kindness account, brought to you by nature.
Life happens
We all have a strong preference that life should be easy, comfortable, and pain-free, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with life when it isn’t those things. It’s just life and it’s not how you would prefer it to be, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with it. – Constance Waverly, WaverlyRadio podcast #132
I imagine we all would prefer to live a life of health, happiness, and success (however success may be defined but certainly not limited to financial prosperity). With those three preferences met, life would be a carefree and joyful experience. Given the complexities of life, however, we are guaranteed a certain degree of physical pain, emotional heartache, want, and for some, absolute devastation.
Even an innocent newborn baby immediately discovers that his existence on this earth is anything but 100% delightful. He can’t define what that means when he’s a minute old, but he certainly feels it.
We tend to wonder why good things “always” seem to happen to bad people – an inaccurate thought, nevertheless it’s one that we entertain from time to time – but those of us who endeavor to do no harm aren’t blessed with easy, comfortable, and pain-free lives.
I don’t have the answer to that question but I do have an answer: our assumptions about others are just make believe because we have no way of knowing what is actually going on in their lives. A person’s outward show of perfection, boundless happiness, and ease is just that: their outward public mask that very well may hide an entirely different one worn in private. Let’s face it, no one can be ecstatically happy and fulfilled 365 days of the year – or even 24 hours a day, or dare I say, a mere 60 seconds at a time – so why is it that we assume others have mastered that very impossibility?
Part of what I’ve learned in my sixty-plus years is that what matters most is how we live in the present, regardless of whether or not that present pleases us. Living in the moment, accepting that moment as our life’s current state of being without pushing back against it can be far more fruitful and enjoyable than the alternative: anger, complaints, and hatred. For example, Ariel and Shya Kane, in their book Practical Enlightenment, point out very clearly that getting angry does nothing toward changing ones current situation. Case in point: you’re running late for work in disastrous traffic. You pound the steering wheel, honk your horn, and yell at the other commuters and what do you know? Your situation hasn’t changed but you’ve become your own worst enemy because your previous misery has been considerably compounded by your fruitless actions.
- Traffic doesn’t happen to us, it just happens.
- A rent increase wasn’t directed at us personally, it was simply a business decision made by the landlord.
- Long lines in the grocery store didn’t occur to inconvenience us; quite simply, like us, other people decided to shop at the same time.
- Coming down with the flu a day after a person arrives in Hawaii for the vacation of a lifetime wasn’t preventable; germs are everywhere and will do their thing at any time and any place. Even though it sucks that the germs manifested themselves just as the vacationer was heading to the beach, please know he’s not being punished for trying to have a good time.
All the wishing in the world won’t change our current reality because anything we could have done in the past is over and done with. Anything we could possibly do in the future hasn’t yet happened, so we should give it up and just be where and when we are right now.
Piero Ferrucci had this to say about the illusion of being in control when his preferences weren’t met during a vital point in his life:
The outside world did not adapt to me: More simply and practically, it is I who must adapt to what is happening moment to moment. The Power of Kindness.
Lighten up Mondays
Earth Day was Saturday, April 22nd, but we should always be focused on the place on which we live.
My nieces and nephews will get a kick out of this one: 17 trees are saved by every ton of existing paper that is recycled. That means if we pulped every Harry Potter book we wouldn’t be able to see the sky for foliage.
*****
And here’s a comic sure to bring a chuckle:
Club Alzheimer’s
No one wants to be a member of a club characterized by a disease that robs a person of their cognitive function and is always fatal. Unfortunately, as of this writing, 5 million Americans (many more million in other countries) are living with Alzheimer’s disease or other dementias. Here are a few more facts extracted from the most current Facts and Figures document published by the Alzheimer’s Association:
- In 2016, 15 million Americans provided unpaid care for people with Alzheimer’s or other dementias;
- That equates to 18.2 billion hours of care valued at $230 billion;
- 1 in 3 adults dies with Alzheimer’s or other dementia;
- It kills more than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined;
- Since the year 2000, deaths from heart disease have decreased by 14% while deaths from Alzheimer’s disease have increased by 89%;
- Every 66 seconds, a person develops the disease.
My novel, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, (Black Rose Writing publication, July 2017) spotlights one family’s experience in particular – the Quinn family – while also visiting other households affected by Alzheimer’s or other dementias.
- Eddie and Katherine, a couple in their 40s. Katherine has a combination Alzheimer’s/Lewy Body dementia, a type of dementia that causes somewhat violent behavior and speech;
- Frank and his son, Sean, the latter of whom suffers from a traumatic brain injury (TBI) incurred while on deployment in Afghanistan;
- Victoria and George, a couple in their 80s, trying to crawl through the maze of George’s Alzheimer’s disease;
- Rose and Sophia, sisters in their 50s, struggling with the effects of Sophia’s vascular dementia;
- Donna and Kelly, partners in their 60s, experiencing the devastating effects of Kelly’s Parkinson’s disease and the dementia associated with her disease.
These are characters like you and I. They were living their lives the best they knew how, being good people and doing good for others, yet Alzheimer’s still managed to grab them by the throat and refused to let go.
The storyline is a difficult one but the way in which I have portrayed all of these precious people will touch your heart, and at times, your funny bone. No, there’s nothing humorous about the disease, but people will be people, and when they’re confronted with the impossible, they can find – or create – a bright side onto which they can find redemption and community.
I look forward to introducing you to my characters. Just a few more months before they’ll become a part of your life.
Kindness Fridays
This past Wednesday I rode the bus into downtown Seattle to have lunch with my daughter, Erin. Two blocks from my bus stop in a very congested road construction area, someone pulled the stop cord, and I guess because of the traffic, the driver let the passengers off a half block early. This was a very unusual action on the bus driver’s part. Every bus commuter knows the only time a driver picks up or drops off passengers is in the designated bus stop. I’ve witnessed people trying to catch a bus, flagging down the bus in an undesignated area, and that driver will keep on going. Even if the driver is stopped at a red light he or she will not open the door for the person flagging down the bus. RULES ARE RULES.
So back to my bus commute. At the OFFICIAL bus stop stood a woman to board our bus. The driver opened the door and grumbled, “I already stopped back there! Now you’re holding everyone up.” She was walking to the OFFICIAL stop so missed seeing the premature stop that occurred behind her.
She was in the right by standing at the real stop but she was verbally penalized.
Kindness was in order but it wasn’t extended. The bus driver messed up the law-abiding woman’s day by yelling at her and collateral damage landed on me which took the form of my mood being deflated. But then the woman returned the driver’s discourtesy with kindness. She said, “Have a nice day, sir.”
When we have the opportunity to express ourselves in such a way as to harm someone, but choose instead to bless someone with our words, the grand order of the universe is altered so that peace displaces disharmony.
The female passenger’s words made my day, thus cancelling out the grumpy driver’s ill-chosen ones.
Have a nice day everyone.
Lighten up Mondays
Today is the official day for Americans – some Americans – to file their tax returns. Here are some tax facts over which to ruminate:
The Gettysburg address is 269 words, the Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words, and the Bible is only 773,000 words. However, the tax law has grown from 11,400 words in 1913 to 7 million words today.
The IRS sends out 8 billion pages of forms and instructions each year. Laid end to end, they would stretch 28 times around the earth.
Nearly 300,000 trees are cut down yearly to produce the paper for all the IRS forms and instructions.
American taxpayers spend over $200 billion and 5.4 billion hours working to comply with federal taxes each year, more than it takes to produce every car, truck, and van in the United States.
The amount of effort needed to calculate and pay federal income for individuals and businesses in the United States is the equivalent of a staff of 3 million people working full-time for a year.
The IRS employs 114,000 people — twice as many as the CIA and five times more than the FBI.
60% of taxpayers must hire a professional to get through their own return.
Taxes eat up 38.2% of the average family’s income; that’s more than for food, clothing and shelter combined.
Kindness Fridays
Have world events impacted you in such a way that you feel things are hopeless?
Are you overwhelmed to the point that you say to yourself, What could I possibly do to make a difference?
The answer is:
You can make a difference because kindness trumps all.
I recently wrote Ellen Degeneres to thank her for her ongoing efforts to spread kindness. Sure, at the end of each of her daily shows she says, Be kind to one another, but she puts force behind those words in what she does for others. At the conclusion of my letter to her, I said the following:
We’re not charged with changing the entire world, but we can have an impact on the miniscule portion of the world to which we have access. You’re doing it, and I will continue to do what I can from my corner of the world. If everyone makes a fraction of a difference right from where they are, those fractions will add up to great things.
I’m glad I’m on the same kindness train as you, Ellen, and I’ll keep chugging along until I can’t chug any longer.
I sincerely believe that random acts or words of kindness can make a difference in the world in which we live. There are so many negative and hurtful words being thrust into our universe, can’t we just please try to balance out that hurt with words of encouragement, recognition, and nourishment?
Yes, nourishment. In all our daily interactions – be they via social media or in person – we can nurture the hurt that exists all around us. Our words, our smile, our actions may just change the life of someone forever. Haven’t you been on the receiving end of that type of transformative nourishment? Didn’t it feel good? Didn’t it fill the emptiness within you that hungered and thirsted for confirmation that you matter, that you aren’t a failure, that you have potential?
Let’s revisit how that felt and commit to quenching the thirst of each person with whom we come in contact.
Being connected in a fragmented world
Much has been said about how impersonal – or even cruel – social media can be. That certainly is the case many times over, but social media can also be a way in which to stay connected with those you care about but with whom you are not able to get together as frequently as you would like.
That is the case for me.
I currently have 60 Facebook (FB) friends, most of whom are those who are close friends and family members. I’ve never felt I needed to post ginormous numbers of friends in order to be a valid Facebook user; I’ve just always been thrilled to be able to follow the lives of those with whom I have a history.
When I first opened my FB account I sent friend requests to everyone I could find on the site. One of those was my daughter, Erin, who indicated that she preferred to keep her FB life separate from her mother/daughter life. I totally got that – and still do – so Erin and I aren’t FB friends but we communicate so much, we always know what’s the latest and greatest in each of our lives.
It’s just this year that my FB family has been enlarged; I’m reaching out to my nieces and nephews and other fabulous family members who – when I first started on FB – were quite a bit younger than they are now. And joy of all joys, they’re reaching out to me! Quite frankly, I figured why would the younger set care about what this geezer-in-the-making is doing with herself? Turns out, they do care, and it’s been glorious, and I certainly care about what they’re doing. The added benefit is that when we do get together, I’ll be far better acquainted with them because we’ve stayed connected on an ongoing basis.
Connecting with others – having contact with them – tears down walls that need not exist. I’ll leave you with a quote from The Power of Kindness about what lack of connection can result in:
We can also do the opposite: build walls, as well as find ourselves in front of others’ walls, and decide that this is an easier, more practical way to live . . . Distance may be safer. But our lives are poorer without the nourishment that these people can give – nourishment in the form of stimuli, different points of view, fresh emotions.
The incapacity of being in touch with others can become a tragedy of solitude. We become our own prisoners.
No thank you.
Lighten up Mondays
In keeping with the baby theme going on in our household – our first grandchild is expected to be born the first week of May – this week’s funnies center around babies.
*****
Saw the cutest triplets in the mall last week. Each had a personalized shirt.
1st shirt said: I WAS PLANNED.
2nd one said: I WAS NOT.
3rd said: ME NEITHER!
*****
After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car. “What’s the matter Johnny?” asked his concerned mother. Johnny replied: “That man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home…I just want her to stay with you guys.”
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant so the boy asked the attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?”
She responded, “Did your mother tell you to ask me?” The boy admitted that was the case.
“Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain that to you.”
Kindness Fridays
Have you ever been on the receiving end of encouragement? Of course you have. Referring again to my daily-read book, The Power of Kindness, by Piero Ferucci, he calls that type of kindness”
“a warming help: attention and a kind word in a difficult moment.”
My across the street neighbor, Eva, is an enthusiastic, lively person – kind of like me if I do say so myself. We get along quite well. Unfortunately, we don’t get together often enough because life gets in the way. Yep, the intricacies of life even get in the way of spending time with decidedly beautiful people.
When Eva and I get together we operate on the same wavelength: we love people more than we hate people, we get excited about similar things, and we lift each other up just by sharing our energy with each other. And when one of us is down or blahness seems to have taken over our personal orbit, time spent with each other erases a good portion of that blahness. I’m close to twenty years older than Eva, but that doesn’t matter in the least. When we’re together, we’re Besties, and we’re the same age. Period.
Without fail, each and every time we leave each other – whether at the conclusion of a neighborhood walk or a lunch date – Eva throws me kisses. Saying goodbye until next time isn’t good enough for my neighbor, instead, she gives me something that lasts and also makes me feel good about the time I’ve spent with her. Just thinking about those thrown kisses are a warming help that is sometimes needed during my day. Quite frankly, just writing about it has already improved my day exponentially.
My neighbor Eva: a delightful gift of kindness.
Gawd, I love her.
Lighten up Mondays
Professional basketball, college basketball, it’s all going on. On today’s date, Monday, April3 3rd, the NCAA Championship game takes place between Gonzaga University (Spokane, WA) and University of North Carolina. Three of my family members graduated from Gonzaga so you can bet I’m cheering for the Spokane team.
Here are some basketball-related jokes for today’s Monday funny.
*****
I play in the over-40 basketball league. We don’t have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.
*****
Earl and Bob, both obsessed with basketball, never missed their favorite team’s games. They promised, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was basketball in heaven.
One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally, Earl did. He said to Bob. “I have good news and bad news. I’ll tell you the good news first. There is basketball in heaven.” Bob said, “That’s the best news ever!”
Then Earl said, “Time for the bad news…You’re starting at guard tomorrow night.”
*****
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about basketball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the best coaches.”
“I know, and that’s all right,” Satan answered unperturbed. “We’ve got all the refs.”
April Fools’ memory
The girls get out of bed – anger seething below the surface of their drowsy bedheads – cross their arms, and they yell, “That’s not fair!”
Patrick agrees, April Fools’ Day is no reason to have a day off from school . . . then he claps his hands together, and barely stifling a laugh, he says, “Gotcha!”
That exact scene happened to my sister and I – thus the reason why I had to include it in my novel. My father had the keenest sense of humor – a funny bone that stayed with him even while the plaques and tangles in his brain leeched the very life out of him. As a family, we were very fortunate that his humor survived until the very end. That is not always the case, as readers will discover when they meet the other characters in my novel whose disease journey is far from cool, calm, and collected.
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, release date: July 20 2017.
Black Rose Writing, publisher.
Kindness Fridays
Last Friday I mentioned a book that I read daily, Live your dash. Another book I read on a daily basis is The Power of Kindness, The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life, by Piero Ferrucci, I’m actually on my second read-through of this encouraging book.
I think we can all agree that what makes the headline news is rarely the pleasant things that occur around us. Horror sells newspapers.
Mr. Ferrucci says the following regarding that unfortunate truth:
There may be murder, there may be violence, and there may be selfishness, but most human beings at heart are helpful and supportive. Cruelty makes the headlines precisely because it is the exception.
But the world goes on because we care for one another . . .
And yet life goes on precisely because we are kind to one another. No newspaper tomorrow will tell of a mother who read a bedtime story to her child, or a father who prepared breakfast for his children, of someone who listened with attention, of a friend who cheered us up, of a stranger who helped us carry a suitcase.
Think of how long our world has been in existence and consider all the mayhem that has played out as described in history books and in front of our very eyes.
Yet, the world goes on.
Kindness and caring have sufficiently sustained us through wars, terrorism, pestilence, and other natural disasters.
It seems appropriate, therefore, that we should feed kindness so its supply never runs out.
Perhaps some day cruelty will run out of steam and die a natural death.
I mean, a person’s gotta hope … right?
The Non-Complaint Department – reblog delight
We don’t have to take lessons to excel at complaining; no, we’ve got it in the bag when it comes to such things. Nancy’s article puts things into perspective when it comes to those many things we take advantage of/complain about.
I overheard the most ordinary – yet extraordinary – conversation yesterday.
Two friends were catching up after our Yoga class. One had just returned from visiting her son and grandchildren.
“I see my grandchildren so much more than I ever thought I would,” the woman said. “It’s such an easy trip. Bradley [our Connecticut airport] is so fantastic.”
“I know!” said her friend. “Convenient parking, easy walks to the gates… we are so lucky!”
Okay. Wow.
When was the last time you heard someone say something nice about AN AIRPORT????
But it’s true. We have a nice airport. And there are great airports all over the world. We can go anywhere. I did not travel the ocean in steerage to go to my business meeting in France.
I’m not saying we don’t have lots of problems with flying. But my God, we are flying.
And there are so many things…
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Lighten up Mondays
In some places of the world, the weather is improving: snow is melting, the temps are getting a bit warmer, and spring yard cleaning is in the forefront of our minds. Here’s some humor to get you in the mood.
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When Phil’s power mower broke down, his wife Kristi kept dropping hints about getting it fixed before the grass got too tall, but the message wasn’t sinking in, and Phil kept putting off the repairs. Finally, she thought of a clever way to make her point. When Phil arrived at home one day, he found her sitting in the grass, clipping it by hand with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a few minutes, then went into the house. Coming back in a few minutes, he handed her a toothbrush.
“When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the sidewalks.”
*****
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
There’s one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor’s.
My neighbour Bill asked if he could use my lawnmower. I told him of course he could, so long as he used it on my property.
Kindness Fridays
I own a book – kind of a devotional, but not religious – that I read each morning, Live Your Dash, by Linda Ellis. The subtitle is Make Every Moment Matter. Ms. Ellis’s book encourages readers to live well in the time between the dash that exists between the day we were born and the day we die. Today’s Kindness post directly quotes an excerpt from her book that I thought was relevant to the subject at hand.
Your name, as spoken, and as remembered, represents more than your reputation. Through the years, it becomes an embodiment of the ways in which you have lived your dash, and touched others’ lives.
Live your life in such a manner that when you imagine your name being spoken in your absence, there will never be a desire (or need) to be present to defend it.
Words in italics provided by this blog author.
Writing what you know
I’ve read numerous articles regarding what writers of fiction – or non-fiction for that matter – should write about:
- You should write about what you know
- Expand your horizons, write about what you don’t know and research the heck out of the subject matter
In my case, I did both: I wrote about what I knew very intimately – caring for someone with Alzheimer’s disease – and I performed a great deal of research to augment and supplement the personal knowledge I acquired over my father’s multi-year disease journey.
I enjoyed the research almost as equally as I enjoyed going through my personal journals and my father’s medical records that documented the progress of his fatal disease.
Perhaps “enjoy” isn’t exactly the most appropriate descriptor of the developmental process for my novel, REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO. Perhaps the more appropriate descriptor is that I was fully engaged and committed to accurately tell every nuance of the story.
You see, the greater portion of the story was very personal to me and my family but it was also a story I knew was representative of so many in the world dealing with the same horrific disease onslaught. I took my story-telling responsibility of portraying the reality of the physical and emotional toll on caregiver and patient very seriously, but I also included humorous incidents that crop up from time to time when you least expect it … because as with all things in life, even during the darkest of times, humor can be found if we’re open to its sanity-saving presence.
And those of you in-the-know understand how important it is to nurture the fading remnants of sanity onto which you are holding.
REQUIEM FOR THE STATUS QUO, to be released by Black Rose Writing, July 2017
Sending The Right Message – reblogged from a kindness freak’s blog. WONDERFUL.
Yes. Being kind, extending kindness – whether by words or actions – can create far more lasting and positive vibes and outcomes than proliferating hatred. Thanks, Nancy.
Yesterday, when I was driving home from the supermarket, ahead of me was one of those big, fancy pickup trucks. As the light turned red, I came up close on his tail, and I saw that he had a decal on the back window of his cab. This was no normal decal – no Praise The Lord or even a Castrol Motor Oil. Nope. For one thing the decal was HUMONGOUS – it took up the whole back window.
And its message?
Yes, that’s what it said:
Locally Hated
For the rest of the day, I couldn’t get that decal out of my mind. I kept wondering what it meant. I thought perhaps it was the name of a rock band. It seemed like it would be a good name for a heavy metal group, and since I am not very knowledgeable in the metal genre (meaning: I like James…
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Lighten up Mondays
We attended a family wedding this past Saturday – a very enjoyable get together to celebrate the marriage of one of our nieces. I thought I’d offer this little bit of humor that focuses on what might take place right after a couple gets engaged. I wonder if Jim & Wendy (Saturday’s parents of the bride) can relate?
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When I announced that I was getting married, my excited mother said, “You have to have the rehearsal dinner someplace opulent, where there’s dancing.”
My father, seeing where this was heading, said, “I’ll pay you a thousand dollars to elope.”
“And you have to have a breakfast, for the people who are coming from out of town.”
“Two thousand.”
“We’ll need a photographer. Oh, and what colors do you want for the reception?”
“Five thousand!”
We eloped to Spain.
Kindness Fridays
While on errands the other day – during a very busy time of day in the middle of a downtown Redmond, WA construction zone – traffic was pretty much bumper to bumper and getting to my appointment on time was proving to be a waning possibility.
On the two lane road upon which I was driving, the car directly in front of me stopped to let another car out of the business park on the right. I’m quite certain that made that driver’s day – I know my day has been improved inordinately when that grace has been extended to me.
Approximately five minutes later a car coming toward me in the opposite lane put on his turn signal, indicating he wanted to turn into a driveway coming up on my right; he would need to turn in front of my car to do so.
Looks like that earlier driver who extended a courtesy rubbed off on me. I stopped, motioned the car through, and then went on my way.
My day was delayed by a whole eight seconds.
The point of this mini-kindness post is that I immediately wanted to replicate what that previous driver had done. That driver’s kindness gave me yet more proof that when kindnesses are extended, such kindnesses can influence others. Sure, hatred spreads like wildfire, but kindness can snuff out that fire and benefit so many.
That’s the kind of influence with which I want to be associated. How about you?
See also: Do little rather than nothing
Lighten up Mondays
When romantic relationships last well into the stratosphere:
The couple had reached an age where the wife thought it was time to start considering wills and funeral arrangements rather than be caught unprepared. Her husband, however, wasn’t too interested in the topic.
“Would you rather be buried or cremated?” she asked him.
There was a pause, then he replied from behind his newspaper, “Surprise me.”
***
Mrs. Willencot was very frugal. When her husband died, she asked the newspaper how much it would cost for a death notice.
“Two dollars for five words.”
“Can I pay for just two words?” she asked. “Willencot dead.”
“No, two dollars is the minimum. You still have three words remaining.”
Mrs. Willencot thought a moment then said, “Cadillac for sale.”
***
A grieving widow was discussing her late husband with a friend. “My Albert was such a good man, and I miss him so. He provided well for me with that fifty-thousand dollar insurance policy – but I would give back a thousand of it, just to have him with me again.”
Living: the ultimate team sport 