That’s what happened to the woman who is the subject matter of the attached article by Danny Westneat of the Seattle Times newspaper.
1951: Marian Dahoney, a newly employed worker at an insurance company in downtown Seattle, opens her first and only bank account at the institution located within her company’s building. Name of the bank: Seattle First National Bank, later called Seafirst, a wholly owned subsidiary of Bank of America. These days, we all know the bank as megalithic Bank of America.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
2013: Now 85-years of age, with no steady income, other than her monthly social security check and a small retirement amount from her now-deceased husband’s employment at Rainier Brewing Company, Bank of America is penalizing her for not having very much money. The Advantage for Seniors account that she currently funds with her fixed income will be charged a maintenance fee of $25/month unless she keeps a balance of at least $5,000. Danny Westneat calls those fees hidden taxes on the poor.
Marian is of the generation that believes that customer loyalty and commitment means something. She could have jumped ship many years ago as other financial institutions provided incentives for new customers to walk the plank onto their boat, but she stayed with Bank of America for 62 years – feeling good about her commitment to one banking institution for her entire adult life.
Not anymore. Marian is being forced to pull her funds (she has less than $5,000 in the bank, otherwise she would not have received a letter notifying her that the bank would be charging her $25 per month in maintenance fees) and she is searching for a new banking institution that will show her some integrity by waiving minimum balance fees. Imagine the efforts required of this 85-year old woman to go through the process of abandoning ship. For you and I – it would be an inconvenience – for Marian, it’s a major effort.
Marian Dahoney thought that her 62-years of loyalty to Bank of America would have counted for something. Nope! It counts for nothing, because Bank of America is too busy nickle and dimeing those who are just trying to put a couple meals on the table each day in a house or apartment they hope not to lose, while paying monthly utility bills to maintain the house’s heat, electricity, and water.
Shame on you Bank of America – and any other financial institutions – for penalizing the poor for not having enough money to somehow keep your businesses afloat.
My father and my sister-in-law, both of whom have died from Alzheimer’s disease in the past five years.
According to the World Alzheimer’s report:
If dementia were a country, it would be the world’s 21st largest economy, ranking between Poland and Saudi Arabia. In the year 2010, the total world cost for caring for the dementia population was $604,000,000,000 (billion).
By 2050, in the United States alone, the costs for caring for the dementia population will be: $1,200,000,000,000 (trillion). That’s more than 1,000 x $1 billion.
Are you thinking of making any charitable contributions to a worthwhile organization before the end of the year?
and I’m as mad as hell about the millions of crimes that it has gotten away with.
Alzheimer’s and other dementias are unfair to the one diagnosed and to all those involved in that person’s life. The unfairness unfolds with the worst day of that person’s life – diagnosis of a disease for which there is no cure – therefore it is always fatal – and it is a disease where little progress has been made in treatment options.
Let me introduce you to two fabulous people who are no longer with us because this disease killed them. Yes, Alzheimer’s murdered them.
My hero – my father: 1918 – 2007
My father, Don, was born in 1918 in Toronto, Canada. He married my mother, Patricia, and they had three children. They became U.S. citizens in the late 1940’s/early 1950’s. My father was an extremely distinguished, courteous, humorous, and dedicated family man. He received his Alzheimer’s diagnosis on June 3rd, 2005 and I was there by telephone conference, having attended his initial neurological evaluation a couple weeks earlier. He died at approximately 12:10 a.m. on October 13th, 2007.
Nancy, an adoring daughter-in-law to my father, seated in front of her.
My sister-in-law, Nancy, was diagnosed with mixed dementia just a few months after my father died. Nancy was born in 1942 in Quincy, Massachusetts. She graduated from UCLA with a degree in flute performance and used those skills in many venues throughout her life. Nancy had three children from her first marriage – children of which she was very proud. Nancy was an extremely talented interior designer, opening her own design business in 1987 – the same year that she married my brother, Don. Nancy died from mixed dementia, that also included Alzheimer’s, at approximately 11:05 a.m. on July 4th, 2012. Just two and a half months later, my brother and sister-in-law would have celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.
Saturday, September 21st, 2013 is World Alzheimer’s Day. One in every three seniors dies with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. If you do not die from Alzheimer’s, you die with it. From Alzheimer’s Association 2013 Facts and Figures.
Won’t you consider making a monetary donation in the hopes of capturing this murderer?
U.S. website for the Alzheimer’s Association: www.alz.org
Other countries have their own dedicated websites as well. Please find those sites through any search engine you would normally use, and let’s slap the cuffs on this criminal disease.
“Mr. Desonier, I think you can stop scheduling an annual colonoscopy from this point forward. You’ve been very diligent about this aspect of your health care for many years, but at your age, I think this procedure provides inconvenience and discomfort that you can do without.”
My dad was 84-years old when his gastroenterologist made that declaration. I never thought I’d say this, but that gastroenterologist is my hero. My father had one suspicious colonoscopy a decade or so earlier, and was advised to undergo that test every year to be certain that no cancer was present. If you’ve ever undergone this test – and you should have a baseline one after the age of 50 or earlier if you’re symptomatic – you’ll understand when I say that I’d rather have a root canal than have my colon flushed and probed every year. Here’s TMI for you: I’m 60 and had my first exam of that sort seven years ago and passed with flying colors. I’m on the ten-year plan so I have a couple years left before I hop on that table again. But I digress.
The above article will shock you to your senses as to how incentivized doctors are to keep prescribing outlandish medical procedures on their elderly patients. Most, but not all, such procedures benefit medical professionals and facilities and provide no benefit to the patients that undergo such procedures. Here’s a quote from the above article that is sickening in its implications:
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Medicare spends a quarter of its $551 billion annual budget on medical treatment in the last year of life. A third of Medicare patients undergo surgery or an intensive-care-unit stay in their final year (of life.)
The author’s 80-year old father had a “stroke-blasted” body and underwent the surgical procedure of having a pacemaker installed to correct a slow heartbeat that gave him no health problems. Medicare paid $12,500 for that procedure. Her father’s family doctor didn’t approve of the cardiologist’s decision to perform that surgery. Medicare would have only paid that doctor $54 for a medical consultation with the family to weigh the pros and cons of such a procedure.
What’s the lesson here? There needs to be a greater focus on slow medicine in the form of palliative care, rather than fast medicine that dictates quick consults and immediate – and oftentimes drastic – medical intervention that robs the elderly patient of living on his own terms, and dying when its the body’s time to do so.
The above public service announcement shines a spotlight on a disease that will affect you one way or another:
My father died of Alzheimer’s 10/13/2007. I’m on the left – it could happen to me; my brother is on the right, it could happen to him.
You may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis or I may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis
A loved one of yours may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and you’ll be his or her caregiver
A good friend of yours; a neighbor; a coworker may receive an Alzheimer’s diagnosis
The point is – just as all of us know someone who has had, or currently has, cancer – all of us have some sort of connection to someone who has Alzheimer’s or other dementia.
None of us is immune to this disease that steals a person while their heart is still beating.
When your children attained the age wherein having “The Talk” about sex and other scary things became unavoidable, you simply jumped in and winged it – wanting to explain as much to your kids as they needed to know but trying not to lend any encouragement towards participation in said scary things. Didn’t you feel better once you checked that “To Do” item off your child-rearing list? I know I did.
My father in mid-stage Alzheimer’s.
“The Other Talk” is that which you need to have with your adult-sized children, regardless of how uncomfortable you – or your children – are about topics such as: illness, death, and finances. Acccckkkkk!
My mother and my daughter, circa 1977.
Or perhaps it’s the other way around. The adult children are broaching these difficult topics with their parents in the hopes that said parents will do something about these unavoidable issues. Regardless of who is on the receiving end of these discussions, they should be considered mandatory in every family.
Consider this scenario: Dad is dying of cancer and in a coma. Your mother has already passed on, and you have no idea what your dad wants. His cancer is inoperable and he’s having more and more difficulty breathing and he hasn’t had any nourishment by mouth since he went into a coma. Does he want breathing assistance? Does he want intravenous liquids and nourishment? Does he want pain medication to help him through the extreme pain that cancer causes, even if the medication hastens his death?
What’s a son or daughter to do? Wing it?
Let’s look at another scenario: Mom is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s and is unconscious more than she is conscious. There is no reversal possible of the debilitating effect this disease has had on her body: her doctor tells the family that their mother’s ability to swallow is greatly compromised, her breathing is becoming more and more labored, and she has shown no interest whatsoever in food or liquids. Her body is in the active stages of dying.
In this scenario, dad is still living and cognitively competent and he has told the family and your mother’s doctor that he wants every single measure possible to be employed to keep his bride of sixty-five years alive. You, however, have a copy of your mother’s living will/advanced health care directive – as does your father – which contains conflicting wishes to those of your father. Your mother wants no extraordinary measures employed – not a respirator, not a gastric feeding tube, no intravenous nourishment, nothing except for medication that will make her as comfortable as possible as she leaves this world. When your mother was fully aware and cognitively healthy, she had her wishes incorporated into a legal document, determined to take the responsibility of making such decisions out of her loved ones’ hands.
What’s a son or daughter to do? Follow mom’s wishes.
What a gift that is – carrying out your loved one’s wishes when she is no longer able to verbalize them. It would still be a gift if mom’s wishes were clearly spelled out that she wanted everything done to keep her alive as long as possible. The point is not what was decided that is important – it’s that the decision had already been made – a decision that remained in the hands of the patient/family member.
Both of my parents gifted me and my two siblings with documented specific wishes for their life and death. My mother unexpectedly died in her sleep on September 24th, 1994 at the age of 77 – something she had wished and hoped for her entire life – who doesn’t? My father died on October 13th, 2007 at the age of 89 from complications of Alzheimer’s and cancer. There was no guessing when it came to the time when us three adult kids rushed to his bedside. He was comfortable in his death, and we honored him by following his wishes for no intervention. Did I want my dad to die? God no. I wanted him to live forever; but none of us gets to do that, so I’m glad that my father was allowed to take his last breath and leave this world his way.
A fellow blogger whom I greatly respect, wrote the above article that tells a story of aging, loneliness, intuition, and follow through.
There is a holiday celebrated on September 28th called National Good Neighbor Day. In the above linked story, a good neighbor noticed that she hadn’t seen one of her neighbors in awhile, so she acted on her concern. The story that unfolds could be a made-for-TV drama! Concern drew her to investigate and her gut wouldn’t let her turn away.
I think all of us need to trust our gut more frequently, which I learned for myself back in July. I’ve attached an article I wrote on that experience called – coincidentally – Trust Your Gut.
No one is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent. – John Donne
Back to school for lots of the younger set out there, so the older set might have a wee bit of time to catch up on their reading – starting with this month’s celebrations – some wacky, some serious.
Monthly celebrations: Classical Music Month, Hispanic Heritage Month, National Courtesy Month, and Self-Improvement Month
Daily – some of which I’ve skipped:
Emma Nutt (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
September 1: Emma M. Nutt Day – the first woman telephone operator
September 2: Labor Day, of course, but also National Beheading Day (don’t lose your head over this one)
September 4: Newspaper Carrier Day (I hope these people never lose their job because that would mean that the paper newspaper has become a thing of the past)
September 5: Be Late for Something Day – but not your own wedding!
September 6: Read a Book Day ; also Fight Procrastination Day
September 8:Grandparent’s Day – be sure to click on the link I’ve attached to see how Australia honors grandparents!
September 10: Swap Ideas Day
September 11: 911 Remembrance Day; also No News is Good News Day (which seems appropriate considering)
September 13: Blame Someone Else Day (it wasn’t me!)
September 16: Step Family Day (yippee!); also Mexican Independence Day
September 19: International Talk Like a Pirate Day
September 21: International Peace Day – best day of the month, and timely to say the least
September 27: Native American Day
September 28: National Good Neighbor Day – establish your own friendly neighborhood watch; simply watch out for one another
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” – Abraham Lincoln
Luck doesn’t bring success, neither does lack of preparation. Here’s a personal account that hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks. This example is about exercise, but this article is not.
I started a new exercise regime in May called The Bar Method. Each one hour session “integrates the fat burning format of interval training, the muscle shaping technique of isometrics, the elongating principles of dance conditioning, and the science of physical therapy.” Let me just tell you that after the very first session, I realized how out of shape I was – evidenced a day later by my inability to get out of a seated position without using both hands braced on the seat for leverage, combined with much grunting, groaning, and “Oh my Gods!”
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Fast forward several weeks and I became a devotee who takes Bar classes twice a week at the studio, and four times a week I do interim supportive training in my mini home gym using a recumbent bike, weights (only 2 lb and 4 lb) and lots of push ups and planks. I quickly realized that if I do my part at home, I benefit even more from the Bar classes. Woohoo!
This past Thursday, I went to class having had a miserable night’s sleep the night before: couldn’t fall asleep, couldn’t stay asleep – you get the drill. Although I made it through the one hour class, I struggled greatly throughout and failed to receive all of the benefits. Without adequate sleep, my body was not armed with the stamina it needed to get the job done. You’d think that one lousy night’s sleep would not jeopardize the success of my workout the next day. Evidently that one factor nullified all the other preparations I had made in the days leading up to the class.
Alright, no more talk of exercise.
The point I want to make is that if you go into a task without all the needed preparation, you’re not prepared at all. It’s as simple as that.
What good is completing three of four steps of a presentation for a meeting, if all three rely on the fourth step that you didn’t complete? What a bloody waste of your time and that of everyone else at the meeting.
What kind of roof will a roofer be able to lay if he or she brings all the tools and most of the roofing materials, but no nails? “But I have everything else I need, don’t I get credit for that?” Nope!
Follow Abe Lincoln’s way of preparing for a task: you won’t chop down any trees with a dull axe.
I love this poster found in the above attachment that compares today’s social networking with yesterday’s; quite a few yesterdays.
My earlier social networking profile photo.
Remember when you were younger and you spent so much time playing outside with your friends that your parent would say, “Dinner is at 5 pm. Be home by then, please.” That’s how it was in our household when we were kids. My sister and I said goodbye to mom and dad in the morning, played all day with our friends, and didn’t return until the appointed dinner hour.
I know I’m showing my age, but I don’t care. I’m glad the Internet was “created” but I wish social networking was more social.
Those of you in business of any type whether medical, construction, retail, food or travel industry, or any of the thousands of business types out there:
What are you doing to retain your customers?
The following incident occurred more than two years ago and serves as a good illustration of failed customer retention.
I moved to a suburb of Seattle in 1997 and became a client/patient of a local chiropractor. This Doctor of Chiropractic knew all there was to know about me structurally because she treated me for fourteen years. One of the issues of which she was keenly aware was my cervical spine (neck) discomfort. After much deliberation and procrastination, I finally decided to have it surgically treated. I had discussed my treatment options with my chiropractor at length throughout my time as her patient and she concurred that I might very well benefit from the C5/C6 disc replacement and fusion.
Xray of cervical spine – not mine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
One week before my surgery I attended my chiropractic appointment and upon my departure that day I was wished well with the goal of returning for treatment once my neck fusion was completely healed.
Fast forward one year. During that year of healing I did not receive a phone call, nor did I receive a card; I received nothing resembling any indication that they valued my previous fourteen years of patronage. So I did something about it.
I wrote a very kind but professional letter expressing my disappointment in the management of this chiropractic office – a business that consists of one chiropractor and four staff members. I told her that I was offended at having been ignored. Here’s an excerpt from my letter:
I am offended by an apparent disregard for a patient’s longtime loyalty and patronage of your practice. In my mind, I felt that a provider of chiropractic care, which is so much more person-focused than traditional medical care, would value the patient/doctor relationship and reach out to this patient given the length of her patronage. That was not the case, so I have chosen not to resume treatment under your care.
You can be certain that I received a call within days of sending that letter, a call that went to voicemail while I was away from the house. The doctor fell all over herself gushing and oozing with regret while at the same time explaining her reason for doing nothing: “I wanted to protect your privacy.”
Come again? Does that mean you were disrespecting my privacy each time your office called to remind me of the 100’s of appointments I attended for fourteen years? No. You wanted to be certain I would show up. And how does sending a card to my home disrespect my privacy? It doesn’t. The excuse was weak and I stuck to my guns. Businesses need to realize that the least expensive and best marketing strategy involves word of mouth advertising. On the flip side, the least expensive and worst marketing strategy involves word of mouth advertising.
How much money have you lost because you ignored your customers?
Monica Guzman, Seattle Times writer and blogger, is going off the technical grid for a week – thus the article attached above wherein she analyzes our habits and impulses when it comes to us feeling the need to be instantaneously on top of matters. She’s not disconnecting from all technologies – she intends to watch television and might use a real camera – but she’s staying away from “the ones that know me.”
Ah, respite – what a delightful concept. Lots of us Baby Boomers equate respite to receiving some sort of relief from our caregiving tasks. For example, we might be taking care of a parent, sibling, partner, or spouse and we look for every opportunity for a reprieve from our caregiving chores – or at least weshould be. Please see my article Caregiver: put on your oxygen mask first.
Cordless Phone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Respite, however, also relates to resisting the compulsion to send someone a Happy Birthday greeting by sending an e-mail, or going to the honoree’s Facebook page, or sending a Tweet on the person’s Twitter feed – and instead, deciding to call that person for a conversation that lasts longer than it takes to type a 140 character greeting. OMG, MIK? (Oh my god, am I kidding?)
No – I’m serious. I could make it harder on you – and myself – by suggesting that we send a birthday card that would require us to purchase, write, post, and drop the card through the slot of a postal box. I think that would be a great idea, mind you, but that’s not what I’m proposing.
Rejoice in the fact that Facebook reminded you of that person’s birthday. (I know that you received sufficient notice not to miss that person’s birthday because truth be told – that’s how I remember many of my acquaintances’ birthdays each year.) But please resist the urge to send an instantaneous electronic greeting. Think of yourself – I know you can – and think of what it feels like to receive fun mail, such as a birthday card, or simply a “there’s no reason for this card” card. You liked that feeling – didn’t you? Now I want you to also think about how it feels when someone calls you to personally wish you happiness – just you and the person that called you. That’s a one-on-one attention connection.
Drop a note, make a call, but leave the 140 characters for some other important message, like:
I had a glazed doughnut and a cup of coffee for breakfast then washed my hair and can’t do a thing with it! Isn’t that just the worst thing ever?
Go ahead and count – there’s 140 characters there.
I can always rely on fellow blogger, Frizztext, to post delightful guitar tunes with a variety of fingering and strumming techniques. Rather than post a Thursday in the News article today – my normal Thursday gig – I’ve chosen to post this blogger’s article that contains delightful sound interludes that you no doubt need to hear because your day is boring, frustrating, tiring, and can’t end soon enough so you can do some fun things, so …
I’m posting this blog piece because it beautifully illustrates the ugliness of bullying practices that occur everywhere.
My opinion on bullies: whether they look like nerds, terrorists, or invisible men and women on the Internet – is that they are very insecure people. They are so insecure that they have to beat others down so that they can appear to be better and bigger than those they victimize.
(This is a resubmission of the article I wrote yesterday. I changed the title.)
In his book Eleven Rings: The Soul of Success author and NBA former coach, Phil Jackson, emphasizes the need for players to have a team mentality instead of a me-mentality. He took on the challenging task of asking Michael Jordan to reduce the number of successful shots he made in a game. Keep in mind, Michael Jordan was averaging 32.5 points per game at that point, almost single handedly winning games. The coach wanted other members of the team to get more involved in the offense, resulting in a team win – not just a MJ win. Phil Jackson’s explanation to Michael: “You’ve got to share the spotlight with your teammates, because if you don’t, they won’t grow.”
Chicago Bulls Michael Jordan and Phil Jackson 1997 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
At first Michael expressed his lack of confidence in some of his players and his hesitancy to let them have the ball. Phil Jackson responded, “The important thing is to let everybody touch the ball, so they won’t feel like spectators. It’s got to be a team effort.” It wasn’t an easy sell – to be sure – but Michael Jordan went with his coach’s plan. That seems to have worked for him.
Now switch to a different sport and a different player: Alex Rodriguez, or A-Rod as he is now called – unless you live in Seattle where their former Mariner shortstop is called “Pay-Rod” because of his greed when leaving the Mariners for the Texas Rangers.
David Brooks, syndicated columnist for the Seattle Times, wrote an exceptional opinion piece: A-Rod: the perils of self-preoccupation. This columnist knows how to clearly paint a personality picture – or should I say, personality disorder? “One of the mysteries around Rodriguez is why the most talented baseball player on the planet would risk his career to allegedly take performance-enhancing drugs?” A-Rod’s self-preoccupation prevented him from successfully managing his own talent. The columnist’s theory about those who are self-preoccupied is explained like this: “Locked in a cycle of insecurity and attempted self-validation, their talents are never enough, and they end up devouring what they have been given.”
Where does that leave the little league baseball player in his or her quest to mimic the bigger-than-life champions (pun-intended) such as Alex Rodriguez? Emulating A-Rod, or McGwire, or Sosa – or any other player who allegedly cheated to improve his stats – sends the truly talented youth down the wrong path.
Where does that leave you and me? Each time we take a chance, put ourselves out there and dare to make something of ourselves, we run the risk of failure. As A-Rod’s former NY Yankee manager, Joe Torre, once wrote, “There’s a certain free-fall you have to go through when you commit yourself without a guarantee that it’s always going to be good…Allow yourself to be embarrassed. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.”
As a “trying to become a novelist” novice, I’m definitely in a free-fall. There’s no guarantee that the seven months of writing my novel (so far) will be picked up by an agent or publisher. It’s highly likely that the 103,000 words I’ve written (so far) will be criticized so horrifically, that no publishing professional will want to be associated with me.
But I’m doing what I love; I’m doing what I know I’m supposed to be doing; so I’m in that free-fall and praying for a soft landing. I could try to cheat my way to publication – but copying someone else’s work (other than quoting and crediting them) and characterizing it as my own is a steroid that I’m not interested in taking.
I want to be proud of what I’ve accomplished – not ashamed – and I want others to benefit from the honest work that I do.
A senior manager at Microsoft in Redmond was working late – not unusual I guess – but what was unusual was what transpired during his overtime.
He approached a 32-year old woman on the building’s cleaning crew and asked her to follow him to his office. This dedicated cleaning employee thought perhaps something needed to be cleaned in his office so she dragged her cleaning cart with her. Nope! He threw her to the ground and raped her; and as she lay on the ground in pain and shame, he walked out of the building to throw away the condom he used during the rape – gotta hide that evidence!
The first cleaning company manager she complained to following the rape (it’s 1 a.m. by this time) dismissed her allegations. I guess he didn’t want to miss any of his beauty sleep. The second manager with whom she spoke the next evening – a woman – did not, and she called 911.
The senior manager was fired by Microsoft, was arrested and had to surrender his passport. When he was arrested, the perp said that the cleaning woman forced him to have sex and that he was afraid of her but he left his office to go to his car to retrieve a condom because he felt he had no choice but to let her force him to have sex. (Gee – if he was so afraid, why didn’t he just get in his car and leave?) He said he should have been stronger but he was missing his wife who had been in India for the past few weeks.
It’s definitely not moose hunting season so I can’t come up with any reasonable explanation that even makes the smallest bit of sense in this recent moose abuse news article.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Seattle Mariners baseball team mascot, the Mariner Moose, was on-site at a Seattle area Boeing plant on “public safety day” when one of the Boeing employees reared back his fist and punched the moose in the snout. Mind you, the snout is quite padded and is certainly more than adequate at protecting the person behind the mascot moosona (not persona, moosona) but what brought on this moose abuse?
If the former NY Yankees’ mascot (1979 – 1981) Dandy, were still around, no explanation would be needed if someone had punched the Dandy. Seattle fans don’t like the Yankees, and I’m sure the feelings are mutual. But what did the Mariner Moose do in its illustrious mascot career to deserve such an assault? Everyone is treating this incident as humorous – everyone except the Boeing Company. A disciplinary action has been initiated to look into this employee’s amoosing behavior.
Here’s some fabulous news to report from a town called North Bend, Washington that’s located not far from where I live:
An inclusive camp for burn victims called Eyabsut (which means: to rise above anything), is a camp where “everybody is different here and every body is the same” says Camp Director, Jeanette “JD” Day, also a burn victim.
At this camp, no one stares at them because of the way they look; the children and adolescents feel normal; for one week a year they feel as though they fit in.
The camp is sponsored by the Washington State Council of Firefighters Burn Foundation. You can also find links to this foundation through your Facebook account. Camp Eyabsut almost died last year but a last-ditch fund raising effort kept it going and it’s now in its 26th year.
What an exceptional effort for some pretty exceptional human beings.
I like the above article and every single article that mentions some sort of steps moving towards diagnosis and treatment, even steps that are stunted right out of the block.
Stillness gets us no where. Although limited, at least this article discusses some progress towards shutting down Alzheimer’s and other dementias. During a time where very little good news is forthcoming relating to this disease, I’ll take anything – thank you very much.
We all have been granted a certain amount of intuition which sometimes tells us to do something and sometimes tells us not to do something. A brief definition of intuition is “immediate apprehension or cognition.” That’s exactly what happened to me today. The following is a success story in trusting my gut. This story is being told to encourage you to do the same thing – it’s not a story about me.
My husband had an errand to run today. He wanted to go to the local Woodcraft store just south of downtown Seattle. Sometimes he asks me to join him on these 100% man-errands and sometimes he doesn’t. Today he did ask me if I wanted to go with him and even though I felt rather tired, I gladly decided to keep him company. That’s the first step towards my gut being involved.
We live in a very rural part of a Seattle suburb and half the time we drive down Union Hill Road, and the other half of the time we take Redmond-Fall City Road. Today we chose Union Hill Road. That’s the second step towards my gut being involved.
At the top of Union Hill Road I noticed an elderly man walking along the side of the road (no sidewalks in this rural area) with something grasped to his stomach in front of him. It seemed odd that this elderly man would be walking along this road but not 100% odd – but I made note of it.
Two hours elapsed etween that incident and our return trip back up Union Hill Road. Approximately four miles from where we first observed the elderly gentleman 2 hours earlier that same elderly gentleman was on the side of the road, sitting on a boulder, holding a canvas bag in front of him. My husband drove past him and when we did I said, “That’s the fellow we saw two hours ago at the top of the hill!” We continued to drive up the hill and my gut was going berserk telling me to do something – that what I saw was not good. I finally said, “Honey, you need to turn the car around, I don’t feel right leaving that man behind. He’s been on the road for two hours and in this heat, he probably hasn’t even had a sip of water.”
We drove back down the road and only I got out of the car, not wanting to frighten the man by having two strangers, one of them male, approach him out of the blue. I said, “Hello” while I was still a few feet away so that I didn’t startle him and he could see me walking towards him. I crouched down to his level and asked him if he is okay. He thanked me and told me he was fine. I persisted. “My husband and I saw you taking a walk two hours ago on this same road and I’m concerned that perhaps you might be tired, or perhaps lost?”
He told me he planned to walk into our suburban town’s downtown area which would have involved a very dangerous twisty road in which walking and cycling are not the safest mode of transportation. I told him it wasn’t safe to walk the remainder of the road downtown. “I am visiting from China and staying with my daughter. I was hoping to find public transportation to get me downtown.” I explained that in this rural area there is no public transportation. I offered him my bottle of water, having cleaned off the spout prior to even getting out of our vehicle. He thanked me and patted his canvas bag indicating that he had some.
“I am resting because my foot hurts. I had hoped I would get public transportation downtown.” “It sounds as though perhaps you should go back to your daughter’s house but that’s several miles away from here. If we took you in our car, would you be able to tell us where your daughter’s house is located?”
He then pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket that had both English and Chinese writing on it. “This is my address. This is my daughter’s phone number.” “Shall I call her and ask her to pick you up? Is that what you would like me to do?” “Yes, please. You see I was hoping to find public transportation to take me downtown.” (I was beginning to see a repetitive pattern of conversation here.)
I went back to my car and called his daughter while he continued to rest on the boulder. I told her my name and that I was with her father and that it appeared he had been walking for some time and he would like her to pick him up. I wanted to make sure that the daughter came quickly so I told her I would wait with her father until she arrived. Fifteen minutes later, she pulled up with her mother, and both were extremely glad to have been reunited with the elderly gentleman. Gut trusted, a happy ending ensued.
I know you’re all wondering why the daughter hadn’t gone out in search of her father since at least two hours had transpired since he left the house. I don’t have an answer to that query, but I’m glad that:
my husband asked me to accompany him on his errand;
I gladly agreed to go;
we drove down Union Hill Road;
we saw the elderly man walking down Union Hill Road;
we saw the elderly man sitting down on the side of the road as we drove up Union Hill Road;
and I didn’t shut out the shouting of my gut instinct to check on the elderly man.
I also know you’re imagining all the horrible outcomes that could have happened instead of the good outcome that did transpire. Me too!
But the good news is: no bad stuff happened because I trusted my gut.
What do a loaded assault rifle, a crutch, and a five-year old girl have in common?
The loaded assault rifle served as a crutch to help a certain man get up off the couch in an Oregon apartment;
The five-year old girl was living a carefree life in the apartment directly above the loaded assault rifle;
The man got off the couch with ease, the girl upstairs was killed by his loaded crutch.
When reading the attached article, you’ll note the unnecessary additional information provided by the defense attorney (given the tragic outcome of this incident): the defendant was assured that the gun wasn’t fully automatic. This is the question that all of you should be asking right now: Why was the gun loaded – fully automatic or not – inside this guy’s apartment in the first place?
Dehydration and Dementia. The attached article is a very thorough look at the importance of hydration in the elderly, and how to assure that a person with dementia – who may no longer feel the thirst response and/or does not know how to express his or her thirst – is properly taken care of.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
My husband and I went for a hike last summer during which we encountered a gentleman who I would guess was in his early 80’s. It was a warm, muggy day and my husband and I each had a 20 oz. bottle of water for our 3-mile hike. The gentleman was reviewing his hiking map and we stopped to chat with him about the fork in the road and which path lead where. “Sir, do you have a bottle of water that you can drink while on your hike today?” “No – not needed; I have a thermos of coffee waiting for me back at my car.” “I wonder, sir, with it being so hot and humid, if you might benefit from taking one of our bottles of water. I would be happy to give you one we’ve not used yet so you’ll be comfortable.” “That’s very kind of you, but I’ll be fine.”
So he went on his way but I told my husband I wasn’t comfortable with this fellow being on his own and could we please follow him at a distance to make sure he gets back to his vehicle. And so we did – and he returned to his vehicle, and no doubt partook of his thermos of hot coffee. Not very refreshing.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Although hot coffee and tea certainly contain water as part of their preparation, straight water – or even fruit juice – are a better option because of their lack of caffeine. Years ago, when I would visit one of my aging family members, you could always count on him holding that quintessential cup of coffee in his hand throughout the day. Regardless of the weather – no glass of water reached his lips – except perhaps when he took his daily vitamins or medications. This message is directed to those who provide care for the elderly, those who have older family members, and perhaps this message is also directed towards you. Drink good ol’ H2O. It doesn’t have to be packaged in a fancy bottle, you don’t have to purchase it, it’s always available at the touch of the nearest faucet, and you can access 100% water faster than making a pot of coffee.
What are you waiting for? Go get a glass of refreshing water!
Fellow blogger, Don, talks about his caregiving journey with his wife in which he swore off getting sick because – quite frankly – he couldn’t afford to be sick when his caregiving duties required that he be healthy and available 24/7.
One could argue that just being worried about getting sick might make one sick, but fortunately, that was not the case for Don. Having read many of his articles, it appears that he knew what was required of him as a caregiver – the same thing that is required of all of you who are still on your caregiving journey: assemble a team, spread out the duties, and seek emotional and physical support in whichever form you need.
First and foremost, please read Don’s article attached above. After you have done so, I hope the three articles below will also prove beneficial towards providing direction on how one might assure a successful medical and mental health caregiving journey. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to take care of your loved one.
Fellow blogger, Frizztext, posted a photo on his blog that is very powerful. You must look at it to see what I mean so please click on the above link wherein you’ll see the photo, and please look at this link to read a NY Times article about this young lady’s speech, delivered at the United Nations.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Imagine, if you will, that a girl with a book is a far more impressive – and effective – weapon than a taliban hitman’s gun, shot at point-blank range. My oh my, the bullies of the taliban were so afraid of Malala, that they felt they had to eliminate her from the face of the earth.
This young girl just celebrated her 16th birthday. Unless you’ve been under a rock the past several months, you already know that Malala was, and is, on a crusade to bring education to all children in the world – especially the female half of those children – many of whom are not given that privilege. She, like so many of us world-wide, understand the importance of a good education. Her philosophy is defined in these well-spoken words:
One child, one teacher, one book, and one pen can change the world.
Here’s a peek into a story that was in the news lately in my neck of the woods. This story is from Oregon, not that far from us in Washington state:
Baby buys car while playing on parents’ cellphone is quirky enough to make it to this week’s blog news article. EBay is certainly a place where adults bid and pay for items they can’t do without, but this 14-month old little girl accelerated her EBay skills the other day.
Austin-Healey Sprite (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Through some stroke of luck(?) this little tyke bid on a sports car, won the bidding war, and her parents then found out that they now owned the sports car. They explained the situation to the person auctioning off the sports car and were given a reprieve – but in the end, they decided to go ahead with the sale. Looks like this young lady has landed herself a sports car well in advance of her teenage years. She’ll be the envy of all her friends.
I really like fellow blogger “Frizztext.” Not a day goes by when he doesn’t post a lick or two on his guitar. He’s really quite accomplished. I hope you enjoy his soundbites of goodness.
The attached article, written by a blogger in the UK, is straight-forward and thought provoking – it should be.
I live in Washington state, and I am glad that Death with Dignity is a legal option assuming all the legal requirements are met. This is a very personal subject matter, as is the choice that individuals will make to seize the opportunity, or to reject the opportunity. There is definitely a separate element of this option when the law is utilized for those with dementia. When is someone still capable of making the decision?
A non-profit in my state, Compassion & Choices of Washington, is an excellent resource for materials and information. They have even developed an Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia Mental Health Directive – a first-of-its-kind directive that allows people – while still competent – to document their wishes related to who will provide their care, where care will be provided, how it will be financed, how to deal with difficult behaviors that may arise, and many other matters that both caregiver and patient face. Bless all of you who face this horrific disease that has no effective treatment, and certainly no cure.
I’m attaching the above article from a fellow blogger. He, like so many of us, find it difficult to fathom how anyone would take advantage of a vulnerable human being. The very unsettling fact, however, is that incidents of abuse of the elderly occur and are far too common.
Whether the abuse is instigated by family members upon the elderly in the privacy of their home, or by “professionals” in long-term care settings such as assisted living facilities, nursing homes, or group homes – it happens. Oftentimes such incidents go unchecked for months, or years, and are discovered only when a death occurs, or when someone with a conscience steps forward and complains to the authorities. Those being abused either don’t have the ability to complain or they fear that doing so will make matters even worse for them.
Worse? Residents fear that if they complain, they’ll be thrown out of the place in which they live – the place in which they receive the abuse. I know that you and I are quick to say, “Fantastic! What a great relief that would be if the person no longer lived with his or her abusers!” We say that because we have not experienced what they have experienced; we have not heard the threats and vicious statements directed towards these vulnerable human beings. These violated human beings don’t understand that abhorrent behavior is not normal because it’s all they’ve known.
These are older human beings who at one time were innocent children showing up on their first day of school; worried teenagers fretting over what to wear to the prom; young adults heading off to college and/or a career; husbands and wives, moms and dads … people just like you and me. Now they’re nothing but broken, barely alive bodies who have been treated worse than a junk yard dog.
Here’s another news story from the region in which I live. After reading my previous story and this one, you’ll think that all of Washington state is strange. It’s not, but some of the people are.
The morning of July 3rd, at approximately 6:45 a.m., a 14-year-old boy suspected of drunk driving was arrested in Bellingham, WA after crashing into four cars in the parking lot of an apartment complex. The youngster was trying to elude a State Trooper’s pursuit of him after the child was observed driving erratically and way under the speed limit.
Also in the car with him were two 12-year-olds, a 15-year-old and a 53-year-old man. All of them were extremely drunk, with the exception of one of the 12-year-olds.
I guess the sober 12-year-old wasn’t their first choice as designated driver. It’s unfortunate they chose the 14-year-old – he didn’t do a very good job because he was drunk. Fortunately no one was seriously hurt. The only person who disgusts me is the 53-year-old man. Way to mentor children, dude.
Here’s a new category that I thought you might get a kick out of. Each Thursday I’ll write about a bizarre news story that took place in my local area (Washington State) and you counter that news with a story from your state!
A couple months ago, at approximately 11:30 pm, a Seattle area man woke up his six and four year old daughters, put them in the backseat of the car, and told them they were taking a trip to The Dollar Store for some toys.
Driving at a high rate of speed – and hopped up on meth – he proceeded to hit a few cars along the way on one of the main North/South freeways, I-5. When his car finally came to a stop, having crashed into a barrier, other drivers pulled over to provide help. Seeing that two young girls were in the back seat, those who came to the assist yelled at the driver to unlock the doors. The driver initially refused. When he finally allowed access to the vehicle, the girls were removed, and although they had several seat belt bruises across their torsos, they appeared to be okay.
When the Good Samaritans gained access to the driver’s side of the vehicle in an effort to help the methed out driver, they discovered he was wearing a woman’s blouse with prosthetic breasts strapped to his chest. Oh, one other detail: he was naked from the waist down, and had a full bag of urine at his feet.
He is being held on $250,000 bail. His arraignment hearing is scheduled for July 1st.
How about news in your neck of the woods? Anything even half as unbelievable occur near you? The news story you submit doesn’t have to be icky like the one I provided, it can be too stupid to believe as well – as a matter of fact, that’s preferred.
Living: the ultimate team sport 