Watching each other’s backs.
I found myself walking with horse blinders on my head at a grocery store the other day. I was on a mission – picking up a few items and moving on to the next errand on my list.
As I passed a woman in a wheelchair, I thought I might have heard her say something but I moved on a couple steps until she repeated herself: “Excuse me, could you help me?” I then turned around to find that she couldn’t reach the half gallon of milk that she needed because it was on a shelf 8 feet off the ground. Unless someone helped her she would have to cross milk off her shopping list. My 6 feet of deaf human self easily grabbed the milk off the shelf. I only wish I had been tuned in to someone other than ME so I had responded immediately instead of being asked twice.
Was I a BAD person for not responding quicker? No – but I sure wasn’t watching my neighbor’s back.
Seattle actor, Brian Sutherland was watching his neighbor’s back as told in the Seattle Times article, “A bad guy on the screen becomes a real-life hero.” This 27-year old man saw a suspected purse snatcher steal a 69-year old woman’s purse and chased him down – managing to retrieve part of her purse’s contents and return them to her. But that’s not all! Once he returned the items to the woman he decided to go after the thief!!! Read the linked article I’ve provided and you’ll think Brian was doing some stunts in a movie in which he might have acted: leaping over fences, darting through alleyways – he was amazing!!!
I’m not saying that the average Joe, or Jill, should attempt what he did but what I am saying is that we should have the same commitment to others as Brian has. Brian is quoted as saying, “We need to be watching each other’s backs and standing up for each other. There’s no good reason why somebody who’s lived to 60 or 70 should be jacked on the street in broad daylight. Our society should just not work that way.”
I agree Brian. And there’s no good reason why someone in a wheelchair should have to ask for help twice. I blew it the other day because my selfishness initially made me deaf and blind to a woman who simply needed a half gallon of milk.
I’ll do better next time.
The Contentious Alzheimers Patient: You Can Be Right or You Can Have Peace
The Contentious Alzheimers Patient: You Can Be Right or You Can Have Peace.
This article from The Alzheimer’s Reading Room provides much wisdom and guidance when it comes to making choices when communicating with someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. As I’ve mentioned in earlier articles on my Blog, “If you don’t insist, they can’t resist.”
Caregivers: learning from our mistakes.
“Once bitten, twice shy.” The Chinese and Japanese proverb has a variant: “One year bitten by a snake, for three years afraid of a grass rope.”
How does one who is as imperfect as myself apply this Proverb without writing an article that goes on and on into perpetuity? All of us can think of circumstances in which we fail to learn by experience and continue doing the same stupid/inadvisable thing over and over again expecting different results. As I said, my life is rife with examples, but this article centers around caregiving – especially as it applies to caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. CAVEAT: I would never write on something about which I had not experienced. I’ve been there. I’ve done that. I’ve paid for my mistakes.
I’m so tired of my spouse/father/mother asking me the same question over and over again and supplying her with the same answer over and over again!
Anyone with a loved one who has any type of dementia has lived in this unending vicious cycle. We think that if we just answer the question one more time she’ll remember and not ask the question again. Or we think that if we just spoke louder – or slower – she would certainly remember and life would be infinitely improved. Not happening. Answer the question once, and then move on to another topic. Change the subject; redirect your loved one by doing something that will distract her; or simply don’t respond at all. What ever you do, don’t aggravate the situation by reminding her that you’ve already answered that question numerous times so why don’t you stop already!!!??? Take a deep breath and remember: your spouse isn’t the one asking questions over and over again and frustrating you beyond all measure – the disease is asking the questions. I know – intellectually you understand that concept, but your eyes see and hear your spouse pestering you for an answer over, and over again, so it’s very difficult to get beyond the emotion of the situation. Read the rest of this entry »
Making Memory Books for People with Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia.
Making Memory Books for People with Alzheimer’s Disease or Dementia..
This post, from a wonderful Blog about caregiving, http://www.letstalkaboutfamily.wordpress.com provides an excellent idea. It’s never too late to start this project for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia.
Long Term Care Insurance scares me.
insurance, n. A thing providing protection against a possible eventuality. Concise Oxford English Dictionary, 11th Edition; 2004.
Auto insurance, home or renters insurance, and health insurance – we understand these policies and know that more likely than not the need for the aforementioned insurance policies will rear its ugly head in the near or distant future so we pay the premium for said policies, hoping we won’t need it, but sleeping better at night because we have it.
Why is purchasing long-term care insurance such a difficult step to take for me and my husband?
- Unquestionably, it’s expensive;
- Fearfully, companies who offer this product are going out of business left and right and may leave us holding an empty bag;
- Definitely, it’s a real difficult type of policy to understand; but
- Undeniably, the financial need for it can outweigh the cost of purchasing it.
My husband and I have still not made an effort to look into it further. Here are my two reasons based on family experience – both of which tend to contradict each other:
My father’s long-term care insurance policy. My father had a long-term care insurance policy for which he paid premiums for at least 20 years – no small amount of money to be sure. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s at the age of 84 and died five years later. His care needs at the retirement facility in which he had lived for 13 years didn’t meet the insurance reimbursement threshold until his final month of life. As with most policies, the insurance holder’s care needs must meet a defined level of care before the insurance company kicks in their assisted living care reimbursement payments. When that happens, the insurance holder no longer pays any more premiums. Twenty years of paying premiums for one month of reimbursement benefit.
My sister-in-law’s long-term care policy. My brother and sister-in-law purchased their long-term care insurance policies when they were in their late fifties. Less than a year later my sister-in-law was diagnosed with early-onset dementia and approximately two years later drew benefits from her policy. A couple of years of paying premiums for what will be years of reimbursement benefit. If that isn’t the good news/bad news of long-term care insurance I don’t know what is!
I have no excuse. I know the devastating costs of long-term care because in my past professional life I worked for a senior housing provider and they represented the Champagne & Chandelier variety of assisted living. But even the generic assisted living providers charge high rental rates and as ones’ care needs increase, so do the care fees. This isn’t avoidance behavior on my part and I’m not squeamish about the subject of health and ones’ eventual death. I’m just finding it hard to take this leap into signing up for insurance, even though it holds the assurance of fending off the potential of total personal financial collapse without it.
How are you Baby Boomers dealing with this subject? If you finally bit the bullet and purchased a policy – how did you finally take that leap of faith?
I AM NOT LOOKING TO BE BOMBARDED BY SELLERS OF INSURANCE AS A RESULT OF THIS BLOG ARTICLE SO PLEASE DON’T GO THERE. But I welcome other constructive feedback for those of us on the brink of making this difficult decision.
Light bulb moments.
Q: How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I’m just going to work this out on my calculator, and I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised.
Q: How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two; one to assure us that everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into a water faucet.
AND FINALLY – FROM THE INVENTOR HIMSELF:
Thomas Edison spent years trying to invent the electric light, testing and retesting. Finally, late one night, he got the bulb to glow. He ran out of his laboratory, through the house, up the stairs to his bedroom.
“Honey,” Edison called to his wife, “I’ve done it!”
She rolled over and said, “Will you turn off that light and come to bed!”
Sufficient caregiver training: vulnerable adults deserve nothing less.
Local and Federal governments have more red on their accounting ledgers than black. Citizens balk against any raise in taxes, regardless of how infinitesimal the increase. The same citizens demand more services from their government. How does one get what they need without paying for it?
THEY DON’T.
I’m not a politician – and never will be. I’m not a brilliant person nor do I fully understand all the nuances inherent in government bureaucracies. About this one thing, however, I am absolutely certain: many valuable services that were initially set in place for those considered vulnerable in our society are still desperately needed for even a modicum of dignity and quality of life. Did the needs suddenly disappear? NO. Did the vulnerable in our society somehow experience a miracle and are now fully capable of managing their lives on their own? NO. The needs are still there and the vulnerable in our society are being pushed to the wayside and are slipping through the cracks. Do I like paying taxes? NO. I guess I’m wondering how to generate funds for needed programs without “robbing Peter to pay Paul.” Taking from one program and sliding it over to a different program robs other needed services. If ever there was a Catch-22, this is it.
Let’s look at caregiver training. In Washington State, in the year 1996, caregivers were only required to pass First Aid training, CPR and HIV training, the Fundamentals of Caregiving training (22 hours), and had to successfully pass the State’s criminal background check.
In a Seattle Times article printed January 23, 2000, Push on for more caregiver training, the following statement begins the article:
With a first-aid card and some training about CPR and HIV, you can find yourself a challenging new job caring for the elderly and infirm, bathing them, feeding them, and fielding punches from them. For this you can make about $7.50 an hour. At McDonald’s, you can make more slinging burgers and fries. It’s a wonder anyone cares for the elderly and infirm at all.
The year 2000. For the third time in four years, the Washington State’s long-term-care ombudsman (who is independent of any government agency) pushed for more training for caregivers. “The Legislature and the industry both need to step up and say this is an important key profession…People who take care of human beings are important people.” State bill I-1029 passed which would increase the number of required training hours and implement specialty training for residents with special needs such as dementia, mental health, and developmental disabilities. Implementation of this Bill’s provisions was delayed and set to go into effect March 1st, 2002.
Fast forward to February 2002. Let’s look at another Seattle Times article, Caregiver-training issue causes split in state’s long-term-care community. After the Bill from the year 2000 passed, the Department of Social and Health Services didn’t get the training curriculum revised in time for the March 1st, 2002 implementation so the State Legislature delayed the start-up of the new training requirements to September 1, 2002. Private providers of long-term care – those not accepting Medicaid – would have to foot the bill to provide employee training, most certainly passing the costs along to their residents. Long-term care facilities that accept Medicaid payments would rely on the State Medicaid program to provide the mandatory additional training and the State contended that the budget does not exist to provide the mandated training voted into law from initiative I-1029. Time to go back to the drawing board.
Bear with me. Fast forward to November 2008. Let’s look again at another Seattle Times article, Voters back more caregiver training. In 2008 a revised caregiver training Bill was passed requiring a training increase from 34 to 75 hours for new long-term care workers and required caregivers to undergo a Federal criminal background check. This bill passed overwhelmingly. It’s great that the citizens of my fair State decided that anyone taking care of the vulnerable should be held to a high standard. Oops – in the same voting cycle, initiatives that would have imposed taxes on candy, soda pop, and other piecemeal purchases failed big time. These miniscule, microscopic taxes would have saved vital services for the vulnerable and would have helped the State pay for the “mandated” new training. No money – no increased training – no Federal background checks.
One more time. Fast forward to November 2011. Washington voters asked to boost caregiver training again, Seattle Times. The Legislature delayed the implementation of the 2008 Bill because of budget cuts. And during the voting cycle of 2011, a re-worked caregiver training initiative made it to the ballot once again as Initiative I-1163, right in the middle of an ever-increasing budget crisis, and the Washington State voters overwhelming approved it. Implementation of the new training and background check requirements are set to start in 2012. Lawmakers pushed implementation to 2014 but the good news is that the Legislature won’t be able to delay implementation of the new requirements without a two-thirds majority. As of March 1, 2012 – the Washington State legislature has yet to finalize any enactment of the Bill protecting vulnerable adults; those that the voters of my state approved – and voted for – numerous times since the early 1990’s…stay tuned…
WHAT’S HAPPENING IN YOUR STATE?
HOW IS YOUR STATE PROTECTING YOUR VULNERABLE ADULT POPULATION?
Five Sources of Hope for the Deeply Forgetful, Dementia in the 21st Century
Five Sources of Hope for the Deeply Forgetful, Dementia in the 21st Century.
I’ve found the Alzheimer’s Reading Room to be very helpful in my efforts to continually improve my understanding of Alzheimer’s and other dementia. The good news? Subscribing to the Reading Room is free! I hope all benefit from this attached article about dementia in the 21st century.
Common Caregiver Challenges
The words Caregiver and Challenge go hand-in-hand. Here’s an article to shed some light on a caregiver’s predicament.
Activities for People With Dementia
Activities for People With Dementia.
It’s very difficult to successfully engage someone with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. I hope you benefit from this Blog article by Lauren Watral.
Examining our gratitude levels
By the time you read this article, I hope you’ve already read the reblogged article I posted entitled “Up Your Gratitude,” published in a Parade Magazine article earlier this year. That article was part of the inspiration for this article and can be found in this same Blog category.
I recently watched an Oprah Network special wherein Oprah visits families of Hasidic Jews. One of the families had NEVER seen a television show in their lives and didn’t even know who Oprah was until her staff approached the family about this project of interviewing a Hasidic Jewish family. This family consisted of the husband and wife and 9 children, the oldest of which was 17 years old and the youngest, 18 months. If you can believe what the 17 year old son said – and I think I do – he has absolutely never watched TV and is an extremely happy teenager. The couple’s 15 year old daughter loves not having the normal pressures associated with young teen girls. “There’s no pressure” she explained.
None of the children had ever heard of the names that Oprah tossed into their conversation: from cartoon characters such as Micky Mouse and Sponge Bob Squarepants, to Beyonce and other well-known entertainers. Nope, they had no idea what or who she was talking about. Considering they had never heard of Oprah, that’s not at all surprising.
And yet they were extremely happy and grateful people.
THIS ARTICLE IS NOT ABOUT RELIGION – it’s about the lack of wanting more,wanting better, and wanting bigger as it relates to consumerism. Each person Oprah interviewed talked about the lack of pressure in their life to want, want, and want even more. As a matter of fact, the wife in this family of 9 children, who is pregnant with her 10th child, said the only time she had a feeling of wanting more was when she was able to upgrade to a better wig when her earnings increased. (At a certain age, Hasidic women must cover their hair as a gesture of modesty, be it a scarf or a wig.) So when this woman was able to get a better wig she experienced an “Aha” moment – getting a better, more natural looking wig satisfied a want for something more that she hadn’t ever experienced. Gratitude abounded in this household that most definitely doesn’t resemble our idea of a “normal” frantic-ridden, electronic guided, household.
Time to check my own gratitude level – and level of personal satisfaction. When you receive not-so-good service at an establishment, do you trash its character to others so that they are aware of the establishment’s failings and will curtail their support of its business? It’s easy to complain about something isn’t it? It’s harder – but better – to compliment someone who does a great job:
- Writing a note to the manager of a salon you frequent, complimenting the stylist who always does such a great job on your haircut and/or color. It’s not enough that you tell the stylist how satisfied you are. Tell the one who signs his paychecks and sets his schedule – that’s where the thank you also needs to go so that your favorite stylist receives something for his/her efforts.
- Going out of your way to thank someone in person, or by thank you note, for their volunteerism at church or other community venue;
- Calling or writing a note, not texting, not e-mailing, when you’re grateful for something you received as a gift;
- When your coworker does a great job, or your child does something in the home without being asked, or when you are simply grateful for the commitment your spouse has to his or her job that assures constant financial support in the home – acknowledge their efforts instead of simply appreciating them in your own mind.
Who benefits from appreciative thoughts if they are not expressed to the person who inspired them? Gratitude expressed provides more benefit than you can imagine. Don’t you want to start a ripple effect of gratitude in your small corner of the universe? Get that ripple going – you’ll be better off as a result, and everyone to whom that ripple touches will benefit as well.
Up Your Gratitude: ThankYou Notes Can Have Profound Effects | Parade.com
Up Your Gratitude: ThankYou Notes Can Have Profound Effects | Parade.com.
The attached article, published on January 1, 2012 in the Sunday newspaper’s Parade Magazine section, had a great impact on me; so much so that I wrote my own blog article today, about the effects of gratitude on one’s life. I hope you enjoy both articles.
Alzheimers Caregiving, It’s All in the Palm of Your Hand
Alzheimers Caregiving, Its All in the Palm of Your Hand.
No is the biggest, most frequently used word in the Alzheimer’s World Dictionary. This article, reblogged from the Alzheimer’s Reading Room, addresses the difficulties of communicating with a person with dementia. Remember – don’t always take No for an answer.
10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents
10 Government Programs You Can Access for Your Elderly Parents.
This VERY comprehensive article is designed for a person’s elderly parents but guess what…us Baby Boomers need to be aware of these resources as well so I want to pass this article along to you! It helped me – I hope it’s a great resource for you as well.
Alzheimer’s and other dementia: Advance Directives
Most people don’t want to talk about end-of-life issues but all of us know it’s a topic requiring early discussion and appropriate timing to be of any use when emotional, and sometimes emergent, decisions must be made.
My siblings and I benefited from my parents’ end-of-life documents that dictated their wishes should we need to become involved. My mother died in her sleep in 1994 so no active involvement was necessary but my father, suffering with Alzheimer’s for five years by the time he died in 2007, gave us a gift by spelling out in detail his end-of-life wishes set in place at least a decade before he died. Think of an Advanced Directive or Living Will as a gift to your loved ones. It certainly was a gift to my siblings and me.
An organization in Washington state, Compassion & Choices, worked with Seattle University Clinical Law Professor, Lisa Brodoff, to create a new advance directive for people with Alzheimer’s and other dementia. This same law professor was instrumental in the passage of legislation in Washington State creating the Mental Health Advance Directive for people with mental illness. This statute is considered to be model legislation for other states wanting to expand the rights and planning options for people with mental illness. Bravo Washington State!!!
Although not yet available, the new Alzheimer’s/Dementia Advance Directive will be based on one created by Professor Brodoff for a 2009 Elder Law Journal article titled (excerpt attached): Planning for Alzheimer’s Disease with Mental Health Directives. The new Alzheimer’s/Dementia advance directive is not intended to replace existing end-of-life documents such as a Living Will and/or Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, but is designed to work in concert with those documents to ensure that any issues important to the patient with dementia that are not addressed in standard advance directives are honored as much as possible.
What additional issues are addressed in the new advance directive for those with Alzheimer’s or other dementia?
Potential issues that might be addressed are preferences regarding:
- care in and outside of the home;
- financing of said care;
- caregiver choices;
- involuntary commitment;
- consent to participation in drug trials;
- suspension of driving privileges; and
- any future intimate relationships.
To get on the mailing list in Washington state to receive a copy of the new advance directive contact Compassion Washington: by email, info@CompassionWA.org or by calling their office at: 206.256.1636 or Toll free: 1-877-222-2816. At the very least, regardless of where you live, using their model as a guide when creating your own Advance Directive may be helpful when such Directive affects the life of a loved one with dementia. Being prepared for the unexpected, or even what you indeed suspect might be a future health issue, provide peace of mind for the patient and for his or her caregiver.
That’s a priceless gift to be sure.
The Best Alzheimers Caregiver Tool of Them All, Harvey
The Best Alzheimers Caregiver Tool of Them All, Harvey
There is no such thing as easy caregiving – anyone who has been, or is currently, a caregiver for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or other dementia can attest to that fact. The good news, however, is that every once and awhile we’re fortunate enough to be exposed to glorious snippits of wonderfulness that help us through the day. Here’s hoping that this link does just that for you.
Final vacation jokes: A man walked into a diner…
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner. His waitress brought him a hamburger, a cup of coffee, and a piece of pie.
As the trucker was about to start eating, three men in leather jackets pulled up on motorcycles and came inside. One grabbed the man’s hamburger, the second one drank his coffee and the other one took his piece of pie.
The truck driver didn’t say a word. He got up, put on his jacket, paid the cashier and left.
One of the bikers said to the cashier, “Not much of a man, is he?”
“He’s not much of a driver either,” she replied. “He just ran his truck over three motorcycles.”
Final vacation jokes: At St. Peter’s gate…
Three men died and went to heaven. Upon their arrival, St. Peter asked the first guy if he had been faithful to his wife. The man admitted to two affairs during his marriage. St. Peter told him that he could receive only a compact car to drive in heaven.
Then St. Peter asked the second man if he had been faithful to his wife, and the man admitted to one affair. St. Peter told him he would be given a midsize car to drive.
The third man was asked about his faithfulness, and he told St. Peter he had been true to his wife until the day he died. St. Peter praised him and gave him a luxury car to drive in heaven.
A week later, the three men were driving around, and they all stopped at a red light. The men in the compact and midsize car turned to see the man in the luxury car crying. They asked him what could possibly be the matter – after all, he was driving a luxury car!
“I just passed my wife,” he told them. “She was on a skateboard!”
A mixed bag of jokes while on vacation: No.1
In a panic, a traveler called down to the hotel’s front desk soon after checking in.
“Help!” he yelled. “I’m trapped inside my room!”
“What do you mean, trapped?”
“Well, I see three doors,” the man explained. “The first opens to a closet, and the second to a bathroom. And the third door has a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign hanging on it.”
What’s a person to do when their common sense has taken a hike?
A mixed bag of jokes while on vacation: No.2
With Valentines Day approaching, I can’t resist this one:
A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read:
SAY IT WITH FLOWERS!
“Wrap up one rose,” he told the florist.
“Only one?” the florist asked.“Just one,” the customer replied. “I’m a man of few words.”
A mixed bag of jokes while on vacation: No. 3 and 4
A business woman is sitting at a bar.
A man approaches her.
“Hi honey,” he says. “Want a little company?”
“Why?” asks the woman. “Do you have one for sale?”
Question: What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Answer: I don’t know, and I don’t care.
A mixed bag of jokes while on vacation: No. 5
At a party the hostess served a guest a cup of punch and told him it was spiked. Next, she served some to a minister.
“I would rather commit adultery than allow liquor to pass my lips!” he shouted.
Hearing this, the first man poured his punch back into the bowl and said, “I didn’t know we had a choice!”
Come on, you KNOW you want to laugh. It’s o.k. It’s just a joke.
Techie Jokes for your weekend
There’s a new telephone service that lets you test your IQ over the phone.
It costs $3.95 a minute. If you make the call at all, you’re a moron.
If you’re holding on the line for three minutes, you’re a complete idiot.
Guilty as charged.
Another techie joke
Did you hear about the high-tech ventriloquist?
He can throw his voice mail.
One more techie joke for the weekend
Two executives in expensive suits stopped off at a small country bar. As the bartender served them, he heard a muffled “beep! beep!” sound and watched as one of the men calmly removed a pen from his inside coat pocket and began carrying on a conversation. When he was done talking, the exec noticed the bartender and the other customers giving him puzzled looks. “I was just answering a call on my state-of-the-art cellular pen,” he explained.
A short while later, another odd tone was heard. This time the second executive picked up his fancy hat, fiddled with the lining and started talking into it. After a few moments he put the hat back on the bar. “That was just a call on my state-of-the-art cellular hat,” he said matter-of-factly.
A few stools down, one of the locals suddenly let out a loud burp. “Quick!” he exclaimed. “Anybody got a piece of paper? I have a fax comin’ in!”
Financial fraud against the elderly: it’s a family affair.
A trusted family member would NEVER financially exploit their loved one – right?
WRONG.
All classes of people, and most age groups, become victims of financial fraud. The elderly, however, have been hit particularly hard. A recent Puget Sound Business Journal article (a Washington State publication) provides some astounding statistics for the state of Washington:
- reports of elder abuse grew by 30% in five years;
- 4,121 cases were reported to Adult Protective Services in all of 2010 and that number was already reached by November of 2011;
- the Washington State Office of the Attorney General only receives a fraction of the financial abuse cases because many go unreported; and
- the National Center of Elder Abuse in Washington, D.C. states that only one in 25 cases of elder abuse are ever reported.
So who are the perpetrators? These thieves are neighbors, caregivers (family related or not), best friends, and trusted financial professionals.
But nationally, nine out of 10 financial exploitation cases involve family members.
This type of abuse begins innocently enough “let me help you pay your monthly bills mother.” The adult child becomes a signatory on the bank accounts, keeps up with mom’s bills, but also pays him or herself a little here and there and before you know it, mom doesn’t have the financial means to live out her days. Certainly most family members are trustworthy and respectful of their elders and look out for their elders’ best interests but the statistics certainly paint a horrific picture, don’t they? And what’s worse, if the elderly victim has Alzheimer’s or other dementia, it doesn’t take much effort for anyone – family or stranger – to enrich their own bank account while draining mom and dad’s.
It’s virtually impossible for government agencies to monitor cases of elder abuse. The local agencies that help the indigent elderly are strapped financially. Budgets are being cut resulting in decreased staffing, and caseloads that are unmanageable and overlooked – but not for lack of trying!
So what can you do to protect those vulnerable adult victims that seemingly go unnoticed in our local communities? I provide some suggestions in my blog article, Elder Fraud: a few things you can do to protect your loved one. This article assumes that family members are trustworthy and selfless in their interests. Fortunately, that’s probably you, but obviously, elder fraud is a national problem so it’s vital that everyone be reminded of how easily thieves can take advantage of the older generation.
I’m certain this topic affects many of you and at the very least, angers the rest of you. I covet your input and look forward to your thoughts on this matter.
Three weekend jokes to ponder: Number 1
“What are you so happy about?” a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
“I broke a mirror,” he replied.
“But that means seven years of bad luck.”
“I know,” he said, beaming. “Isn’t it wonderful?”
Three weekend jokes to ponder: No. 2
One day a man spotted a lamp by the roadside. He picked it up, rubbed it vigorously and a genie appeared.
“I’ll grant you your fondest wish,” the genie said.
The man thought for a moment, then said, “I want a spectacular job – a job that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do.”
“Poof!” said the genie.
“You’re a housewife.”
Three weekend jokes to ponder: No. 3
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are those machetes doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I juggle them in my act.”
“Oh, yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives.
Another man driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the passer-by. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”
Voices of the bored retirees.
- “I’m trying to decide what to do with the rest of my life.”
- “I’m a frustrated fish out of water since retiring two years ago.”
- “I’m desperate to find something to fill my time!”
- Woman in her 80’s: “What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life? I feel helpless and hopeless without worthwhile connections.”
I attended a class four and a half years ago comprised of people in their 50’s through their 80’s. This class was designed to make our Senior years count. I just now stumbled on notes that I took in that class wherein each class member was asked to make a comment about their current state in life. The above four comments are just some of those statements.
Desperation and sadness all around me. I recall now that the mood of this class was one of desperation and sadness as those who yearned for retirement their whole working life found themselves frantically trying to fill their days. Their feelings were summed up in these words:
- depressed
- lack of purpose
- short-sightedness
- emptiness
- loss of self
Gerontologist, S. Barkin puts it this way regarding our responsibility to be actively walking through our senior years, and I paraphrase,
What do we want to do for the time remaining in our life? We all should be mining our experiences and the wisdom therein to help with our present and future paths.
As I mentioned in my article, Retirement planning: it’s not what you think, all of us have a history of life skills that should not be put up on a shelf and never used again. Instead we should be retooling those skills into something that is meaningful and enjoyable to us and beneficial to others. The students in my class had many thoughts – mostly unfocused and therefore not very productive – but those thoughts had yet to turn into action.
The first step is to decide what is significant to you and act on it.
Aging well starts with the mind but it’s in the doing that makes it count. We all have a choice when we find ourselves at a loss of purpose: we can stay stuck, or we can actively make a difference in the local community around us. Baby Boomers are the first generation of peoples to have such a long life span. We’re living longer so we have more time to pass our knowledge down to others and use our skills in a valuable way. As the sports company Nike says in one of their ad campaigns: JUST DO IT!
Living: the ultimate team sport 