Paula Poundstone

Lighten up Mondays

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???????????????????????????????Here are a few clever quotes: a couple with attributions, the rest anonymous.  I thought you’d get a kick out of them.

“The difficult thing with quotes on the internet, is verifying them.” – Abraham Lincoln

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.  (Is that true wives of retirees?)

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.”  – Paula Poundstone

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve, telling them to sit down and be quiet.

I am nobody; nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Every time I find the meaning of life, they change it.

Have a note-worthy week y’all!

Lighten up Mondays

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Comedians – both living and passed – offer a few thoughts on motherhood:

My friend Myron tells me, “Last year on Mother’s Day the whole family got together for a big dinner, and afterward when mom started to clean up, I said to her “Don’t bother with those dishes mom.  Today is Mother’s Day.  You can always do them tomorrow.” – Joey Adams

This from Wendy Liebman: I think I’d be a good mother.  Maybe a little overprotective; like I would never let the kid out – of my body.

A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after thirty-five.  The doctor said, “Thirty-five children is enough for any woman!” – Gracie Allen

When my mom got really mad, she would say, “Your butt is my meat.”  Not a particularly attractive phrase.  And I always wondered: now, what wine goes with that? – Paula Poundstone