A driver tucked this note under the windshield wiper of his automobile. “I’ve circled the block for 20 minutes. I’m late for an appointment, and if I don’t park here I’ll lose my job. Forgive us our trespasses.”
When he came back he found a parking ticket and this note: “I’ve circled the block for 20 years, and if I don’t give you a ticket, I’ll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation.” And here’s another one …
A man was driving home late one afternoon and he was driving above the speed limit. He noticed a police car with its red lights on in his rear view mirror. He thinks, “I can outrun this guy,” so he floors it and the race is on. The cars are racing down the highway: 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour.
Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy figures, “what the heck,” and gives up. He pulls over to the side.
The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car. He leans down and says, “Listen mister, I’ve had a really lousy day and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I’ll let you go.”
The man thought for a moment and said, “Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser, I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!”