Nancy’s Independence Day
Two years ago today, my sister-in-law died from Alzheimer’s disease.
Four and a half years post diagnosis, Nancy Satterberg Desonier was liberated from the cognitive chains that stifled her creative and loving essence, and dramatically shut down her stately and classic physical body.
Another thing happened on July 4, 2012: Nancy’s caregiver husband, my brother Don Desonier, lost his bride of almost 25 years. Don didn’t feel liberated – he would have gladly continued on his wife’s disease journey as the supportive and attentive husband that he was – but he could celebrate the fact that this devastating disease was done robbing he and Nancy of a quality-filled life, and he could take comfort in the fact that his wife’s suffering had come to an end.
I celebrate Nancy today and the thousands upon thousands like her whose lives were cut short by Alzheimer’s and other dementia.
I also celebrate my brother Don and all the caregivers who provided loving support to a loved one who has passed from this disease. You are a hero to many, and you are a hero to me.
Living: the ultimate team sport 
July 9, 2014 at 6:03 am
[…] couldn’t sleep, I skimmed through posts from other WordPress bloggers I follow. I happened upon the July 4, 2014, post on Baby Boomers and More, by Irene, in Redmond, Washington, a town not far from where my family members have lived off and […]
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July 5, 2014 at 5:45 am
[…] Nancy’s Independence Day […]
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July 4, 2014 at 7:55 pm
I understand the sentiments you expressed so well — both yours and Don’s — the desire for liberation and the desire to continue with one’s loved one, no matter how hard the journey.
My mother died today (July 4, 2014) of Alzheimer’s, also four and a half years post-diagnosis.
It is bizarre to be scurrying around my home this evening, making arrangements to travel to be with my father half a continent away, while fireworks light the sky and fill the air with celebratory bangs. Such incongruous sounds in my world tonight.
Yet, after your post, I think perhaps that I, too, can remember this day in the future as my mother’s Independence Day. Thank you for helping me find a good perspective with which to view her death.
Theresa
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July 5, 2014 at 6:56 am
Theresa, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that this time immediately after your mother’s death is difficult for both you and your father. As you grieve your mother’s passing, so too will you be trying to lessen the loss for him. It is not an easy task, but I sense that you will come through this time and experience a gradual healing that will be tailor-made to each of your needs. Please feel free to converse/write any time. I will hold you up from a distance.
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July 5, 2014 at 11:14 am
Thank you.
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