Lighten up Mondays

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Happy sunshine faceThis week marks the start of the Major League Baseball season so I’m throwing some sporty jokes your way:

On June 26th, 1985, at Jack Russell Stadium in Clearwater, Florida, organist Wilbur Snapp played Three Blind Mice following a call by umpire Keith O’Connor. The umpire was not amused and saw to it that Mr. Snapp was ejected from the game.

Here’s a quote attributed to the late, great Babe Ruth: “It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball.  I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.”

One morning in elementary school, the students were in their geography class where the teacher wanted to test the students on their knowledge of U.S. cities and states.

The teacher asked the class, “Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?”  Francis raised his hand and said, “Yeah, Pennysylvania.”  The teacher replied, “Very good Francis.  Now, can anyone tell me where Detroit is?”

Rachel raised her hand, “That’s in Michigan.”  The teacher again replied, “Very good.”

Trying to confuse the children the teacher asked, “Where’s Kansas City?”  Ross raised his hand and said, “Oh, oh, pick me.  I know!”

The teacher said, “OK, Ross.  Where is Kansas City?”

“Last place!”


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Football 2I’d like to shift the focus from footballs and their degree of inflation, to “indecent” gestures that draw fines.  In particular, let’s look at the actions of running back, Marshawn Lynch of the Seattle Seahawks.  This beast of a Seahawks player has been fined twice this season – so far – for “grabbing his crotch” after making touchdowns.  Interesting.

The NFL is so hell-bent on harassing Marshawn, that in addition to fining him for not talking to the media in the manner expected of him, they’ve taken to harassing him for adjusting his cup in public.

Wait a minute, Irene.  What he did was obscene.  He touched his crotchal area and moved it up and down.

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