Q: What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?
A: One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.
The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can’t ask his patients what is the matter – he’s got to just know.
– Will Rogers
A patient arrived at the Emergency Room at 0400 with no complaints: “I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people. ”
My friend is a Botox junkie—she can’t stop getting the injections. But surprisingly, when I reminded her to get her flu shot, she shuddered. “I hate needles,” she said. I had a solution: “Just pretend it will make your arm look younger.”
Visiting the psych ward, a man asked how doctors decide to institutionalize a patient.
“Well,” the director said, “we fill a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and ask him to empty the tub.”
“I get it,” the visitor said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s the biggest.”
“No,” the director said. “A normal person would pull the plug.”