Fun things to do at a department store:
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
- Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off, and turn the volumes up to 10.
- Try on bras over the top of your clothes.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares” and see what happens.
- Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!” See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
- Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the store mannequins.
- As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow, magic!”
- Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs onto carpeted areas.
- Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
- Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with GI Joes vs the X-Men.
- While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
- Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
- When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
- Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
- Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
- Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a test drive. and last and certainly least …
- Grab boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they’re not looking.