Lighten up Mondays

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landscape-536173_1280Tis the season to do lots of festive things, one of which is eating.

A professional dietitian was lecturing in front of a group of people who wanted to lose weight.

“The food we eat is so bad for us, that it will still hurt our health several years down the road,” she said.

“Sugary drinks eat up the lining of our stomach, processed food is full of chemicals, meat is full of preservatives, and even our water is filled with germs. And I haven’t even gotten to fatty foods yet! Do you know which type of dessert will give you the most troubles and suffering for many years after you’ve eaten it?”

The whole group fell silent, until an 80-year-old man sitting in the back stood up and said: “A wedding cake…”

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A wife left a note on the fridge door saying: “This isn’t working, I’m leaving.” The husband opened the door and the darn thing was working just fine!

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The reason animals don’t need to diet is that it’s hard to keep tabs on their eating habits. Imagine for a moment, what your dog’s food journal would look like:

Dear diary, today I ate the food in my bowl, half of the cat’s food as well as some poop nuggets from its litter box, the crust of two sandwiches that were in the sink, one tea bag from the trash, three flies, and a green rubber ball. How many calories is that?

 

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