Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on August 29, 2016 Updated on August 20, 2016

There are two teachers in my family: Our son-in-law, Kirby (elementary school) and my stepdaughter Kirstin (high school). Here’s to them and numerous other underpaid and overworked educators!

Teacher: “Where is your homework?” Student: “I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.”

If teachers were honest about their report card comments to parents: “Jimmy continues to be a sh*t. I would like him to stop being a sh*t. Please work out your sh*t so Jimmy is not a sh*t.

Teacher in answer to a student’s question about the book he’s holding: “It’s called reading. It’s how people install new software into their brains.”

Teacher: “Class, we will only have a half day of school this morning.” Students: “Hooray!” Teacher: “We will have the other half this afternoon.”

There are three kinds of people in the world: those who are good in math, and those who aren’t.

Teacher: “You failed the test.” Student: “You failed to educate me.”

And proof that punctuation saves lives:

“Let’s eat Grandma!”      vs       “Let’s eat, Grandma”