Lighten up Mondays

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Happy sunshine faceMeanings of some commonly used words that have a cynical bent to them:

  • Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
  • Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
  • Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
  • Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  • Conference room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.
  • Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  • Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
  • Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
  • Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.
  • Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  • Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous weekend.
  • Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

I told you they were cynical.

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One thought on “Lighten up Mondays

    Jill Weatherholt said:
    June 15, 2015 at 7:35 am

    I love these, Irene. Ah…the conference room…so true!

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