- Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
- Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
- Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
- Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
- Conference room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.
- Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
- Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
- Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
- Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.
- Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous weekend.
- Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
I told you they were cynical.