Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on June 15, 2015 Updated on June 12, 2015

Meanings of some commonly used words that have a cynical bent to them:

• Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
• Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• Conference room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.
• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
• Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
• Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
• Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.
• Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
• Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous weekend.
• Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

I told you they were cynical.