A guy was reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and smacked him on the back of the head with a frying pan. He asked, “What was that for?” She replied, “I found a piece of paper in your pocket with ‘Betty Sue’ written on it.” He said, “Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? ‘Betty Sue’ was the name of the horse I bet on.” The wife shrugged and walked away. Three days later he was reading the newspaper when she again smacked him on the back of the head. He asked, “What was that for?” She answered, “Your horse called.”
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” he said, “CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to stick! Careful. CAREFUL! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!
The wife stared at him. “What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?”
The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”