winter jokes

Lighten up Mondays

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hope-1220980_1280Some of you are in sunshine, some in rain, some in snow. There’s a variety of possibilities out there but since it’s snowy and freezing where I live, I feel inspired to provide some winter humor for your Monday enjoyment.

My summer body wasn’t ready but my winter body is good to go.

A grandfather in snowbound Chicago handed a snow shovel to his grandson and said, “Sorry, son, there’s no app for that.”

Spring needs to stand up to winter and kick it in the snowballs.

A freshly built snowman was concerned as this was his first gig. He could only hope that the garish hat and scarf would distract from the fact that he was nude.

Winter is the three month break from a woman and her razor.

I’m tired of winter. I want to fast-forward to bitching about how hot it is.

Sign discovered stuck in two feet of snow in a neighbor’s front yard: Unassembled snowman for sale, cheap!

What do you call an old snowman? Water.

Children will relate to this one: the number of layers worn by children during the winter is dependent upon how cold their mother is feeling.

Dear Winter, I’m breaking up with you. I think it’s time I start seeing other seasons. Summer is a lot hotter than you are.