Pope
Lighten Up Mondays
An ambitious new sales rep for Budweiser beer traveled all the way to Rome and managed to get an audience with the Pope himself. As soon as the two were alone together, he leaned over and whispered, “Your Holiness, I have an offer I think might interest you. I’m in a position to give you a million dollars if you’ll change the wording in the Lord’s Prayer to ‘our daily beer.’ Now whaddaya say?”
“Absolutely not,” said the shocked pontiff.
“Hey, I understand; it’s a big decision,” sympathized the salesman. “How about five million dollars?”
“I couldn’t think of it,” sputtered the Pope.
“I know it’s a tough one. Tell you what – I can go up to fifty million dollars,” proposed the salesman.
Asking him to leave the room, the Pope called in the cardinal and whispered, “When does our contract with Pillsbury expire?”
Lighten up Mondays.
Since the Vatican is front and center with the upcoming election of a new Pope, I thought I’d offer this somewhat Catholic-based humor:
A Catholic priest and a businessman were playing golf. After playing several holes, the businessman’s game takes a turn for the worse.
“Damn! I missed!” he swears, as his ball lands in a sand bunker.
The priest is understandably shocked and admonishes the businessman,”Do not swear, my son. You will incur God’s wrath.”
The next time the businessman fails, however, he exclaims again,
“Damn! I missed!”
The priest gets very angry and scolds him severely: “My son, you place yourself in great jeopardy by your words!”
But alas, as the businessman’s ball again fails to roll where he wants it to, he yells loudly,
“Damn, I missed!”
Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes from the clear sky and reduces the priest to a pile of smoldering ash, and a booming voice from heaven shouts,
“Damn, I missed!”
Living: the ultimate team sport 