I hope 2017 brings you much joy, and certainly lots of laughter. Many people resolve to lose weight and exercise more in the New Year. Let’s look at that, shall we?
- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
- I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.
- If you want to take up cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
- The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.
- I tried to exercise but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
- A reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class/spin class/Barre class pulls a hamstring.
- Doctor to patient: “What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?”
- I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
- The word ‘aerobics’ came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we’re going to charge $10 an hour, we can’t call it “Jumping Up and Down.”
- America has got to be the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer.
- I’m 99% sure no one would run marathons if they weren’t allowed to talk about running marathons.
- I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym, now this entire workout was a waste of time.
- After exercising I always eat a pizza … just kidding, I don’t exercise.
- Instead of the John, I call my bathroom, Jim. That way it sounds better when I tell friends I go to the Jim first thing every morning.