Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on February 22, 2016 Updated on February 16, 2016

Presidents’ Day was last Monday, but today is George Washington’s birthday so I’m sticking with the presidential theme with the following:

Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees the President whooping and hollering.

“What’s the matter, Mr. President?” the Vice President inquired.

“Nothing at all. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!”

“How long did it take you?”

“Well, the box said 3 to 5 years but I did it in a month.”

And here’s another joke:

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their Maker.

The supreme deity turned to Al and asked, “Tell what is important about yourself.” Al responded that he felt the earth was of the ultimate importance and that it was crucial to protect the earth’s ecological system.

God looked to Al and said, “I like the way you think, come sit at my left hand.”

God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God said, “I like the way you think, come sit at my right hand.”

God then turned to Bill Gates who was staring at him indignantly. God asked, “What is your problem, Mr. Gates?”

Bill Gates responded, “I think you’re sitting in my chair!”