Some of you live in the colder regions of the world, some of you don’t, but all of you will appreciate these quips that follow the line:
It was so cold that …
- Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.
- Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker.
- Richard Simmons started wearing pants.
- UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii.
- Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
- Rats were bribing alley cats for a snuggle.
- Dogs were wearing cats.
- Squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at the electric fence.
- Words froze in the air: if you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.
- We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
- When we milked the cows, we got ice cream; when we milked the brown cows, we got chocolate ice cream.
Happy 2016 to one and all. And remember, stop taking yourself so seriously … no one else does.