Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on January 4, 2016 Updated on January 2, 2016

Happy 2016 everyone! I’m starting off the first Monday of this new year by introducing the new logo for this weekly injection of humor.

Some of you live in the colder regions of the world, some of you don’t, but all of you will appreciate these quips that follow the line:

It was so cold that …

• Hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs.
• Roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker.
• Richard Simmons started wearing pants.
• UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii.
• Pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
• Rats were bribing alley cats for a snuggle.
• Dogs were wearing cats.
• Squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at the electric fence.
• Words froze in the air: if you wanted to hear what someone said, you had to grab a handful of sentences and take them in by the fire.
• We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up.
• When we milked the cows, we got ice cream; when we milked the brown cows, we got chocolate ice cream.

Happy 2016 to one and all. And remember, stop taking yourself so seriously … no one else does.