Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on September 28, 2015 Updated on September 11, 2015

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.  While on the operating table she had a near-death experience.

Seeing God, she asked, “Is my time up, Lord?”  God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck.  Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well look good.

After recovery from her final operation, she was released from the hospital.  While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit and killed by a semi-truck.  Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 40-plus years?  Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of the truck?”

God replied, “My child, I am sorry, I didn’t even recognize you!”