David is finally engaged and is excited to show off his bride-to-be. “Ma,” he said to his mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiancee.” Sure enough, two days later, David walked in the door with three girls following behind him.
“It’s that one,” said his mother without blinking an eye. “Holy cow,” exclaimed David, “how in the world did you know it was her?”
“I just don’t like her,” she replied.
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good-sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it.
“My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars just before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!”
I was at a magic show when after one particularly amazing trick, someone screamed out, “Wow, how did you do that?”
“I would tell you,” answered the magician, “but then I’d have to kill you.”
After a moment’s pause the same voice in the crowd screamed, “Can you tell my mother-in-law then?”