Lighten up Mondays
This entry is from the Washington Post, publishing the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. I provide a few of those for you today.
- Coffee (n): the person upon whom one coughs
- Flabbergasted (adj): appalled over how much weight you have gained
- Abdicate (v): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
- Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation while drunk
- Willy-nilly (adj): impotent
- Negligent (adj): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
- Lymp (v): to walk with a lisp
- Gargoyle (n): olive-flavored mouthwash
- Flatulence (n): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
- Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline
- Rectitude (n): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists during an exam
- Frisbeetarianism (n): the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
3 thoughts on “Lighten up Mondays”
March 19, 2014 at 6:36 pm
Good one! I liked that. Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 14:31:13 +0000
March 18, 2014 at 9:16 am
Too funny. There are a few of these I can apply to myself. Thanks for the laugh.
March 17, 2014 at 1:46 pm
Thanks for the laughs today!