Lighten up Mondays

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Metal SunThis entry is from the Washington Post, publishing the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.  I provide a few of those for you today.

  • Coffee (n): the person upon whom one coughs
  • Flabbergasted (adj): appalled over how much weight you have gained
  • Abdicate (v): to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach
  • Esplanade (v): to attempt an explanation while drunk
  • Willy-nilly (adj): impotent
  • Negligent (adj): describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown
  • Lymp (v): to walk with a lisp
  • Gargoyle (n): olive-flavored mouthwash
  • Flatulence (n): emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller
  • Balderdash (n): a rapidly receding hairline
  • Rectitude (n): the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists during an exam
  • Frisbeetarianism (n): the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
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3 thoughts on “Lighten up Mondays

    jerry olson said:
    March 19, 2014 at 6:36 pm

    Good one! I liked that. Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 14:31:13 +0000

    Kathy said:
    March 18, 2014 at 9:16 am

    Too funny. There are a few of these I can apply to myself. Thanks for the laugh.

    Anonymous said:
    March 17, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    Thanks for the laughs today!

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