Lighten up Mondays

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Two jokes with the husband getting in the last word:

This man was out golfing with his buddies.  He was about to putt when a hearse drove by leading a funeral procession.  The man set down his club, took off his hat, and put it over his heart until the procession had passed.

“That was the most decent thing I’ve ever seen you do,” one of his friends said, to which the golfer responded,

“It’s the least I cold do; we were married thirty-two years.”

These guys rob a bank wearing gorilla masks.  As they’re getting away, a customer pulls off one of the robbers’ masks to see what he looks like.  The bank robber says, “Now that you’ve seen me, you have to die,” and he shoots the man dead.

The robber then looks around the room.  Everyone is looking away or covering their eyes.  “Did anyone else see my face?”  An Irishman in the corner slowly raised his hand.  The robber then asked, “You saw my face?”

“No, but I think my wife might have got a wee peek.”

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