Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on January 30, 2017 Updated on January 30, 2017

My husband and I drove many miles on our most recent trip; miles that covered Arizona, California, and Nevada. Needless to say, we observed a variety of driving anomalies by those who shared the highways with us. Today’s funnies shine a spotlight on the delightful and frustrating art of driving.

A traffic cop pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway. Glancing into the car, he was astounded to see that the young lady, who was driving, was knitting.

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the policeman wound down his window, turned on his loudspeaker and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO,” the young lady yelled back, “It’s a scarf!”

*****

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly,
but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
You can’t fix stupid.

*****

I saw someone driving and texting at the same time the other day. I got so mad, I rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.

*****

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had funded a
project with the US auto makers for the past five years. The NTSB covertly
funded a project whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four
wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the
circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.

They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in
61.2% of fatal crashes were, “Oh, sh*t!”

Only the state of Texas was different, where 89.3% of the final words were, “Hey
y’all, hold my beer and watch this!

Have a great week everyone, and remember, don’t text or drink, and drive.