An airplane was already virtually full and in danger of exceeding its baggage allowance when a last-minute passenger asked for the one remaining ticket.
The clerk was unsure whether to give the passenger a ticket, so he asked him: “Do you mind me asking how much you weigh?”
“With or without the clothes?” asked the passenger.
“Well,” said the clerk, “How do you intend to travel?”
A group of tourists were trapped by an avalanche in Switzerland. After three hours, a Saint Bernard arrived with a keg of brandy tied under its chin.
“Hooray!” cried one of the tourists. “Here comes man’s best friend!”
“Yes,” said another, “And look at the size of the dog that’s bringing it!”