Living: the ultimate team sport

Lighten up Mondays

Posted on May 30, 2016 Updated on May 30, 2016

In the United States, Memorial Day weekend more or less signals the start of vacation season. True, many schools are still in session, but vacationing is on the minds of everyone.

Here are some funnies about the topic that should lighten up your day:

As I waited for my luggage at the airport a man lifted my suitcase off the baggage carousel.

“Excuse me,” I shouted, “That’s my suitcase!”

The man shot back defensively, “Well, someone took mine!”

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This summer I’m going to the beach and bury metal objects that say, “Get a life!” on them.

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Halfway between New York City and Washington, DC the trains engine fell silent.

“I’ve got good news and bad news,” the conductor announced. “The bad news is we lost power.”

All the passengers groaned.

“The good news,” he added, “is we weren’t traveling at 30,000 feet.”

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And finally, speaking of airplanes:

My flight was delayed in Houston. Since the gate was needed for another flight, our aircraft was backed away from the terminal, and we were directed to a new gate. We all found the new gate, only to discover a third gate had been designated for our plane.

Finally, everyone got on board the right plane, and the flight attendant announced: “We apologize for the gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., you should deplane at this time.”

A moment later a red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. “Sorry,” he said, “wrong plane.”