There are two things you need to know about taxes: the filing deadline is April 15th and when you write your check, just make it out to China. – David Letterman
Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C. and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands. – Jimmy Kimmel
The U. S. Senate is considering a bill that would tax Botox. When Botox users heard this they were horrified. Well, I think they were horrified, it’s difficult to tell. – Craig Ferguson
I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to prison, I’ll say, no, prison costs taxpayers a lot of money. You keep what it would have cost to incarcerate me, and we’ll call it even. – Jimmy Kimmel
65% of people say that cheating on your taxes is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women. – Jay Leno
When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also called psychopaths, and then the rest of us. – Jimmy Kimmel
Guilty as charged.