How was your Sunday, everyone? Here are some post-church attendance jokes:
A Texan traveled to England on vacation. While there, he attended a religious service and was amazed at how quiet and reserved it was. Not one word was spoken out of turn.
All of a sudden he heard the minister say something he really liked. “Amen!” he shouted. Everyone in the church turned and stared, and the usher came running down the aisle.
“You must not talk out loud,” admonished the usher. “But,” protested the Texan, “I’ve got religion!”
“Well,” said the usher, “you did not get it here.”
An impassioned minister was visiting a country church and began his address with a stirring reminder:
“Everybody in this parish is going to die.”
The evangelist was discomfited to notice a man in the front pew who was smiling broadly.
“Why are you so amused?” he asked.
“I’m not in this parish,” replied the man, “I’m just visiting my sister for the weekend.”