Lighten Up Mondays

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Just about every Baby Boomer has episodes of memory blips – here are a few snippets that might help us laugh at those temporary blips:

I have a memory like an elephant.  In fact, elephants often consult me. – attributed to Noel Coward

My grandfather is a little forgetful and he likes to give me advice.  One day he took me aside and left me there.

A young woman was walking towards the bus stop when she saw a little old man sitting on the curb, sobbing his heart out.  Moved by his grief, the woman bent over and asked him what was so terribly wrong:

“Well, you see,” choked the old man, “I used to be married to this awful woman.  She was ugly, the house was a pigsty, and she spent my money like water.  She wasn’t even a decent cook.  My life was hell.”  His listener chuckled sympathetically.

“Then she died,” sobbed the old man, “and I met this beautiful woman.  Twenty-eight years old, a body like Sophia Loren, and a face like an angel; a fabulous cook and housekeeper, and – can you believe it? – she’s crazy about me!  She couldn’t wait to marry me, and treats me like a prince in my own home.”

“This doesn’t sound so bad,” said the young woman.

“I tell you, I’m the luckiest man in the world.”  The old fella bent over in a racking spasm, convulsed with sorrow.

“Well, then,” said the woman tentatively, “what’s to be so unhappy about?  Why are you sobbing on this street corner?”

“Because,” he sobbed, “I can’t remember where I live!”

And one last bit of humor:  “I just hope it’s not Alzheimer’s,” confessed Mr. Lundquist.  “Maybe there’s some kind of memory medicine you can give me Doc.  See, I’m getting terribly forgetful; I lose track of where I’m going or what I’m supposed to do when I get there.  What should I do?” he asked glumly.

“Pay me in advance,” the doctor promptly suggested.

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