An Unmistakable Truth

Posted on October 5, 2023 Updated on October 4, 2023

My thoughts about being a family caregiver. Been there, done that.

Even with all the book knowledge a person can garner, caregiving “mistakes” are bound to happen. The following tips are provided to active and former family caregivers who struggle with what they consider failed attempts at getting the caregiving task done correctly.

1. Perfection is highly overrated. No one, absolutely no one, expects you to do everything correctly 100% of the time.
2. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Why? See Tip #1 above and Tip #3 below.
3. Caregiving is difficult, so celebrate the wins! Sometimes you will have just the right way of doing or saying something that wipes out every other time you feel you didn’t do or say something correctly. Tally up the victories and celebrate them!
4. Carefully choose your confidantes. Having acquaintances that are slow to judge but quick to affirm will be just the nourishment your body and soul will need.
5. If you are doing your best, that is all that is needed. But you say, “I could have done better!” No. You did the best with what you knew at the time, therefore you are to be congratulated. Instead, ask yourself, “Did I give it all that I could in the moment?” Yes, you did.
6. “Mistakes” are simply learning opportunities. Even today, years after my family caregiving experience, I remind myself that when something in my life isn’t going quite as planned, I can still learn something from that lesson, which is an “unmistakably” good thing, don’t you think?

I wrote a novel about my own caregiving experience. Just like my caregiving skills were a work in progress, so too was this novel, published a few years after my father passed from Alzheimer’s disease. May it encourage you, or someone you know, who just might need a cheerleader in their corner.